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Old September 21st, 2004, 11:18 AM
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debanneball debanneball is offline
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"The Rules"


Okay, I sucked on my joke, so here are Rules I have posted over my desk at work...
'THE RULES"
1 - the female always makes the rules
2 - the rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification
3 - no male can possibly know all the rules
4 - if the female suspect the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules
5 - the female is never wrong
6 - if the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said
7 - if rule 6 applies the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding
8 - the female can change her mind at any given point in time
9 - the male must never change his mind without the express written consent from the female
10 - the female has every right to be angry or upset at any time
11 - the male must remain clam at all times, unelss the female wants him to be angry or upset
12 - the female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset
13 - any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm
14 - if the female has PMS all rules are nul and void
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A dog is an endearing confidant who always listens and gives the best advise - which is to give no advise at all. A dog is one of the few constants a person can count on in an unpredictable, ever-changing world. Debanneball
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  #2  
Old September 21st, 2004, 02:57 PM
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Sneaky2006 Sneaky2006 is offline
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Soooo true huh? lol
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  #3  
Old September 21st, 2004, 05:14 PM
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Kona Dawg Kona Dawg is offline
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Men's Rules

*Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want us to answer, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this: Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
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Old September 21st, 2004, 06:26 PM
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iRONKNiGHT iRONKNiGHT is offline
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Men's Rule: Our Only #2 Rule..

Right On Kona Dawg...

but you forgot our other rule..
Rule Number 1 We're always right
Rule Number 2 even if we're wrong please refer to rule number One (1)
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Old September 22nd, 2004, 08:40 AM
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debanneball debanneball is offline
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Mr. Iron Sir...please check female rule 5.....
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A dog is an endearing confidant who always listens and gives the best advise - which is to give no advise at all. A dog is one of the few constants a person can count on in an unpredictable, ever-changing world. Debanneball
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  #6  
Old September 22nd, 2004, 08:41 AM
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debanneball debanneball is offline
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Mr. Iron Sir...please check female rule 5.....
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A dog is an endearing confidant who always listens and gives the best advise - which is to give no advise at all. A dog is one of the few constants a person can count on in an unpredictable, ever-changing world. Debanneball
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  #7  
Old September 22nd, 2004, 10:21 PM
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wAggie wAggie is offline
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My fave's #14

14 - if the female has PMS all rules are nul and void
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  #8  
Old September 22nd, 2004, 10:40 PM
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Kona Dawg Kona Dawg is offline
no, I am not a chick!
 
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mine's #1 (on the men's rules...)
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  #9  
Old September 22nd, 2004, 10:44 PM
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wAggie wAggie is offline
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LMAO!!!!








...
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  #10  
Old September 22nd, 2004, 10:48 PM
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iRONKNiGHT iRONKNiGHT is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by debanneball
Mr. Iron Sir...please check female rule 5.....
debanneball you got a sticky finger.. you might want that looked at LOL...

umm i was told by the "The Loyal Brotherhood of Water Buffalos" To ignore the "women's" rules LOL
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Old September 23rd, 2004, 09:47 AM
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debanneball debanneball is offline
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Sorry bout that Mr Iron...somehow my puter crashed...restarted, so I hit it again, and BHAM...got 2 replies..how does one delete one reply? Paint out doesn't work in here....sorry....
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A dog is an endearing confidant who always listens and gives the best advise - which is to give no advise at all. A dog is one of the few constants a person can count on in an unpredictable, ever-changing world. Debanneball
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Old September 23rd, 2004, 09:51 AM
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Writing4Fun Writing4Fun is offline
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Just go into "edit" and you have the option to delete this reply. I know ... I've done it many, many times!!
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