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Old September 16th, 2004, 06:54 PM
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I need advice...

Sorry for the long post, but bare with me....

Okay, I'm working as a dog walker in Calgary right now, and I also board dogs as my own business from my home. The lady I am working for is the most amazing boss ever! I love the dogs I walk, and enjoy being outdoors all day. Sounds good, right? It is the best job an animal lover could ever have!!! BUT....
my husband has a degree in zoology from the U of C and is still working at the PetroCanada gas station he was working at while he was in school!!!! He applied everywhere for a good job somewhere in his field, or close too, but no one would give him a chance. Now he's looking at joining the Calgary Police Service, but has to get his vision corrected by laser eye surgery, before he can even apply!!!!!! That's $1800.00 that we don't have!

I have a potential job offer from a land company to be an admin. assistant. I'd get paid $2.00 - $3.00 more an hour, it's permanent with benefits, and full time. So this means more money, but I'd probably hate the job. The dog walking is only part time right now...If my dog boarding was more busy, or if Carlos was already on his way to being a police officer, then this wouldn't be an issue. Unfortunately, he hasn't even applied yet because of all the things he has to do first, and I haven't had any clients lately.

What should I do? If I'm offered the admin. assistant job, should I take it and be miserable, but make more money to pay bills, or should I keep dog walking as I love the job, I just don't have enough money? What would you do?
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Old September 16th, 2004, 07:04 PM
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That is such a tough call... Lots of ppl I know fret over money issues and paying bills, but are you really ready to take a new job, JUST for that reason?
Make a list of pros and cons about both.. sounds silly but it could really help when you're going crazy thinking about it.
As for the surgery, isn't there some program that he could at least be reimbursed? I mean, it is to work for them, they should pay for it. But I guess that's a whole other thread.
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Old September 16th, 2004, 07:07 PM
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You're married? You're so young (in years, I mean, definitely not in maturity)!!! Wow, that's neat!

Anyway... I think you should bite the bullet on this one, for the sake of your husband and both of your futures. If you and your husband get set up more comfortably, in a few years you can get a real boarding/dog-walking business going (I know you already board, but at a different level).

Also, you may not love the new job, but you might not hate it either. You could meet some great people there and gain some work and life experience. Working in an office might not be for you, but it can still have something to teach you (as long as you don't hate it and still keep doing it your whole life as that would be a mistake!

How long have you been with your husband (personal question, but hey it's a personal thread!)
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Old September 16th, 2004, 07:49 PM
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Based on personal experience, I would definitely recommand you take the job you love.

The admin. ass. position may last longer than you think. You'd be bringing NUFF stress into the house.

Unless, money seriously is a huge issue, I strongly recommand you stick with what you love best... and continue looking for a p/t job in your area that won't conflict w dog walking.


let us know what u decide.
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Old September 16th, 2004, 08:22 PM
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Do what you LOVE and what you enjoy!

Your life is not about what you do for money it's about the type of person you are, and how you share the goodness of you with others!

BTW warn your hubby laser eye correction in law enforcement may be detrimental to him, some procedures cause 'halo' effects and 'night glare' which makes it dangerous working shift work and driving at night.
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Old September 16th, 2004, 08:43 PM
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Also, about the laser eye surgery... it is not permanant, and will most likely have to be done every 5-10 yrs.
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Old September 16th, 2004, 09:15 PM
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Just want to clarify my response... I also think that what you love is more important than money (heck, I'm taking a break from working to study and write!) but I also think that spouses make sacrifices for each other, and it seems like heeler's rock's husband also deserves a chance to find a fulfilling job. I would take a better paying job, with an agreement with myself and hubby that after a certain amount of time I would get a chance to do what I love again. I tell my husband all the time that if he wants to take a break from work (his job is nightmarish with hours) I will take a teaching job for a couple years while he does what he needs to do to find a new path. It's just my opinion and of course heeler's rock knows her own situation best, and should make the final decision herself (stating the obvious, duh!).

Sneaky, if it's done properly, laser surgery is permanent, as far as I know.... where did you hear that it's not? My mom had it done when it was in its infancy (10 years ago or so?) and she still sees better with me, even when I'm wearing my contacts!
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Old September 16th, 2004, 09:21 PM
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A few places around here, I was inquiring about it cause I want to get rid of my contacts... they said it wasn't permanent, and will most likely need to have it done again... that doesn't mean it won't last but I guess they are just covering their butts.
I am not sure of any amounts they said but it was a certain price to have it done one time... and then it was a price 3 times as much to have it done for a lifetime (as many times as need be).
I believe it's only not permanent because if you had bad eyes to begin with you're bound to have bad eyes again sooner or later... it's just a matter of genes I guess.
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Old September 16th, 2004, 09:27 PM
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I spent 14 years at a job that was only supposed to last "until I figure out what I want to do with my life". You're still young and could probably handle the stress right now. If this is your huby's dream, I'd say sacrifice a little and take the job for a while. Just keep that goal in focus and leave when you promised yourself that you would! If, however, he's doing this just for the money, then you should probably rethink the situation. You don't want to both end up in jobs that you hate and which stress you both out - that does not make for marital bliss!

PS. How do you feel about potentially being married to a police officer? That's something else to consider...
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Old September 16th, 2004, 10:50 PM
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Thank you all soooo much for the advice!!! My hubby does really want to be a police officer. He works nights right now so it won't be a huge deal with the night shifts. He got thinking about it when so many police officers that came into his work told him about how he'd make a good cop. I totally support him in whatever he decides to do. I know it's dangerous work, but if it makes him happy, that's all that matters. His mom doesn't like the idea, but she's getting there!

As for the laser eye surgery, believe it or not, he has to get it done or they'll automatically disqualify him. His eyesight is terrible and it has to be at least 20/100 without glasses or contacs. he definitely won't pass that without the correction. They should pay for it, but they won't because that's just for his application!! They still might not even hire him! They're really strict here which is so not fair! It's like they want "perfect" people! Oh well. If he didn't spend money on the surgery, he'd be spending it on tuition!

I love dog walking. The lady I work for is awesome too. I really can't leave her now as she is getting married in a month. She and I talked about it and she understands about the money, but really doesn't want me to leave. She said to do what I feel is best. I'd feel horrible for leaving her stranded one month before her wedding!!!

Carlos and I talked about it, and he said to stay with the dog walking. He thinks I am panicking too early. I am finally happy and I think I'm going to stay with the dog walking. I've worked too long for bosses that don't care, and I've finally found someone who appreciates me and I can't treat her like that. I find a p/t job and go from there.......if things aren't better in a month or so, I'll find another job then. At least her wedding will be done.

To answer your question moon, my hubby and I have been married only for 6 months. We've been together for almost 4 years and were engaged for over a year. Our wedding was March 6th this year. I am quite young when I think about it, only 23 and he's almost 25, but we love eachother and besides, divorce is expensive, so we're kinda stuck with eachother now!!!!
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Old September 16th, 2004, 10:53 PM
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hehehe, heeler's rock!, you're so cute!!

and congrats on the marriage.
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  #12  
Old September 16th, 2004, 11:02 PM
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Thanks!
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Old September 17th, 2004, 01:30 AM
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Waggie, that's exactly what I wanted to say!

Heeler's Rock, Sounds like you and your husband are taking good care of each other! In my opinion, you should work towards having your jobs compliment your life together -- and looks like that's what you're working on! So sweet of you to worry about your boss's situation like that. (Hmm... see employers? If you are good to your employees they'll be good to you -- why is that such a hard concept for some???) Anyway, my guess is that everything WILL work out for the best because you're good people!

Congrats from me on your marriage too! One of the strongest couples I know got married at age 16 and 17 (they had special motivation ) and that was almost 30 years ago! Age actually isn't a factor for success -- although I think knowing what you want is, which can come with age but doesn't always!

How about posting a wedding photo? (hey, I did it!!!)
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Old September 17th, 2004, 07:12 AM
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Heelers,I would take the job,no money for bills or everyday living is not going to do either one of you any good...
Having a job you love,is very important,but not being able to pay bills etc..can put a real strain on any marriage,believe me,I speak from experience..
We do make sacrifices for the person we love,I moved to the other side of the world(Canada)leaving friends and family behind.
Right now you and hubbie have to plan for your future,you are only just beginning.Although I believe in equal opportunitys,right now it's time to help hubby out in his wishes to become a police-officer,very admirable I must say
So my advice,take the job,get your finances in order,you're very young,you'll have lots of time to do the things you love to do.
Just be sure to make a promise to yourself,there is a chance you'll get stuck in a rot,time flies after all,once hubby is established in the police-force,you can get back to what you love doing.
Moontamara,I also got married at a very young age,younger than Heelers and boy,did we struggle in the beginning,but 40yrs later we don't regret a moment
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Old September 17th, 2004, 08:25 AM
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Where are you originally from, Chico2? I can certainly empathise with your sacrifice !
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Old September 17th, 2004, 04:20 PM
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Tamara,I thought everyone knew by now
I am from Sweden,my husband from France...we were married and had our first two boys in Sweden,then we moved to Canada and had a third boy.
Looking back it was a sacrifice,I was very homesick for a loong time,but later I did not regret it for a minute.
I suppose you are in much the same boat,I still have pangs of homesickness,but then I go to IKEA and buy some Swedish choclate and Canada is definetly my country of choice now and we are Canadian.
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Old September 17th, 2004, 05:13 PM
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heeler's rock! I took a job 27yrs ago working full 3 shifts in a plant that I had previously said Iwould never do.This job has raised my two sons and paid for our house.Nowadays all I dream of is getting out of this job and try as I might I cant find a job with a near enough wage because over the years we have become accustom to living to a certain income and jobs that would appeal to me hours wise do not pay the wages my job which has unsociable hours and weekend work pays.Its a bit of a rat trap that I am caught in here.Having said that I do enjoy a loving family around me and the great company of pets feline and canine.Lifes for enjoying so if you can see better times ahead either way then go for it.Personally I think my option is to stay put and hope to raise the funds to retire earlier from full time employment.Dont know how that figures over there and how jobs are available but you have to go for things in life.So long as you have good health and each other you can always change direction again if things dont suit.Good luck !
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Old September 17th, 2004, 09:29 PM
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Stewart, i'm not sure if i quite caught everything u were trying to say...

but this girl's JUST started her life, she should be thinking of "early" retirement!!


however, i did follow the last part you said... if she doesn't like the job, she should definitely feel free to move on and get OUT before it does become a "rat trap"

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Old September 17th, 2004, 11:27 PM
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heeler's rock! heeler's rock! is offline
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Well, the job I was looking at taking didn't pan out, but no big loss! My heart wasn't in it anyways! I am really happy right now in this job and we've talked about it, and I'm gonna stay. We'll be okay with money, we just have to cut back here and there. My last walk yesterday was 3 beautiful Irish Setters and after Wil.E (the crazy 4 yr. old male), looked at me with his big brown eyes, my heart sank. I started bawling just thinking about how much I'd miss all the dogs I walk! That's when I knew that leaving this job was not going to be an easy option! Thank you all for your kind words and advise. I'll keep you all posted and if I decide to leave, I'll be coming here for advice again!!!

Moon, you wanted pictures, so here they are! Enjoy everyone!!!!!
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Old September 17th, 2004, 11:44 PM
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Here's a few....
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Old September 17th, 2004, 11:48 PM
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And a few more!!
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Old September 17th, 2004, 11:53 PM
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Congrats and very nice.
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Old September 18th, 2004, 01:33 AM
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Very cool pics... hope you don't mind... your hubby sure is a looker!!!
Congrats to you and your family!
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Old September 18th, 2004, 02:20 AM
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Just Lovely yeah!!...thanks for sharing your Precious pictures!
looks like it was a cold day LOL....
ur hubby looks just like his dad..
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Old September 18th, 2004, 03:27 AM
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wAggie! Sorry for the delay time difference you know,Me online you not or visa versa All I was trying to do was give a perspective from someone who has been through similar choises a survived to the tell the tale.I now see it didnt pan out anyways so she needent have got so wound up
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Old September 18th, 2004, 06:05 AM
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Pami,you have a beautiful family and so are you
I am glad the decision about the new job,was kind of made for you..and that you can stay with the job you love.
You can always publish a poem or two to keep you afloat
Then in a crunch,I am sure your family would help out,hubby and I just had each other.
I am sure all those doggies are sooo relieved you're not leaving
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Old September 19th, 2004, 08:55 AM
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Stewart, np, all's cool

Pami... WOW!! i looooooooove the pix! but yes, i did see some SNOW in the outdoor pix, am i right?

(this morning, we had a HIGH of 8, and yesterday i was practically tanning outside in a bikini! ...that's y i'm freaking... )
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Old September 19th, 2004, 09:03 AM
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Pami, your pics are beautiful! Congrats to you and hubby. You make a stunning couple. I, too, am glad that things were decided for you. Funny how fate has a way of stepping in like that. I think publishing a few of your poems is an excellent idea! Good luck!
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Old September 19th, 2004, 01:16 PM
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heeler's rock! heeler's rock! is offline
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Hey! Thanks everyone! It was a chilly day out!! Brrrrr! The wedding was at the beginning of March so I was just glad the sun was out!

Sneaky, no worries about saying my husband's a cutie! I know he is, otherwise I wouldn't have married him!!! Just kidding!!! I still would have married the big lug!

Yeah, I'm glad the job thing was kinda decided for me. Our parents gave us a loan to help out, and we'll be okay I think. If not, McDonald's is always hiring!!!

I'm glad I don't have to leave my puppies I walk either! They are all so special and I'm just starting to get to know them all....I love them so much and I don't wanna say goodbye to any of them! You are all so great on this forum! Such great advise about pets, love, LIFE, and even money!! Thanks so much for all of your help, and hey, if any of you are ever in Calgary with your pets, I'd love to board 'em for you!
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Old September 19th, 2004, 10:21 PM
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I didn't check online much over the weekend and missed this thread's developments!

Pami, thanks for posting the lovely pictures!!! It looks like you had a multicultural wedding too! Did either of your families have any reservations? My husband's father had some, but came 100% around this spring (thankfully!).

Chico, Sweden, right -- so English isn't your first language? Your writing doesn't give that away at all. Anyway, will answer your pm very soon!
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