Go Back   Pet forum for dogs cats and humans - Pets.ca > Discussion Groups - mainly cats and dogs > General Forum for cats and dogs

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old September 30th, 2009, 07:45 PM
Charles_Joe Charles_Joe is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3
Cat put Down - Dealing with Issues of Guilt

Hi,

I had to have my cat of six years put down yesterday. On the weekend, he began throwing up his food - right after eating it, which I attributed to him getting into the garbage the night before and eating something or to the fact that I had changed the brand of dry food I gave both my cats the day before that. On Sunday the little guy began hiding in the closet and he stopped eating, so I called the Vet and made the next available appointment. The next night, my man was unable to walk and he was lethargic as well as not responsive, but he would still flap his tail when I picked him up. He wasn't drinking at this point, so I was giving him water through a dropper to at least keep him somewhat hydrated - and realized for the first time that this was an emergency. The next morning, he was catatonic on the floor and I rushed him to the vet for an emergency appt, and I was told he had a urinary blockage and that they had drained almost a pint of urine out of his bladder. I was told he was critical and that there was a 30 percent chance that if they operated he would not recover - and even if he did that the blockage would return unless an operation were performed to effectively change his sex - I'm not sure what the name for it is.

Faced with a bill - for 3 days which would include drainage, and xrays, tests medicine etc of almost 1400 dollars, I had to make a decision to let him go. I simply could not afford the money, which would have left me destitute, and was offered no alternative payment plan by the vet, which I was simply astounded by. Needless to say, I am distraught, not just at losing my friend, but I am racked with guilt over this decision. It feels as if I have let him down, and acted selfishly by thinking of my own interests instead of protecting a life.

I'm unsure if I made the right decision, but I keep telling myself that the condition that he was in; Nearly in a coma, unable to move, devoid of life in his eyes - that he was suffering and I made the right choice, even though it feels like I just caved in to some sort of economic euthanasia.

Has anyone else gone through this? Can anyone provide some advice to me about how they coped with these issues? I feel lost.

Thanks.

Chuck.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old September 30th, 2009, 07:54 PM
the gang the gang is offline
Senior Contributor
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: hudson quebec
Posts: 1,356
you did the right thing for your loved one!!brenda and the pins
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old September 30th, 2009, 08:02 PM
Love4himies's Avatar
Love4himies Love4himies is offline
Rescue is my fav. breed
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Boating in the 1000 Islands
Posts: 17,763
At that point, the chance of a full recovery is not that great.

Cats are notorious for hiding illness and pain.

kitty
__________________
Cat maid to:

Jasper, male Ragdoll ?? (approx 10 yrs)
Rose semi feral, a cpietra rescue, female tabby (approx 7 yrs)

Sweet Pea RIP (2004?-2014)
Puddles RIP (1996-2014)
Snowball RIP (1991-2005)

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.-English Proverb

“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.” Stephen R. Covey
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old September 30th, 2009, 10:37 PM
14+kitties's Avatar
14+kitties 14+kitties is offline
150% PRO S/N
Starcastle Champion, V:force Champion, UFO Shoot Out Champion, Parachute Panic Champion, Mission To Mars Champion, Disc Dash Champion, Crazy Closet Champion, Railway Line Champion, Penguin Pass Champion
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: MYOB
Posts: 15,408
little one
Please don't feel any guilt in ending his suffering. At the point where his eyes are lifeless he is ready to go.
__________________
Assumptions do nothing but make an ass out of u and me.

We can stick our heads in the sand for only so long before it starts choking us. Face it folks. The pet population is bad ALL OVER THE WORLD!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old October 1st, 2009, 09:35 AM
Charles_Joe Charles_Joe is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3
Thanks for the kind words friends. It has been so hard, and I guess just hearing someone tell you that you made the right choice makes it easier. It was a little better this morning, but everything just seems so empty here. I know I should clean up his things, the little corners of the house where he had his blankets and pillows that he curled up on, but I can't yet. I keep looking at them and imagining him there. It's so very sad and I suppose that it will take some time to get over the guilt issues. I'm glad i was there with him at the end, and that he knew I was there. I miss you buddy.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old October 1st, 2009, 01:27 PM
ScottieDog ScottieDog is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 413
Chuck, I want to offer my condolences on your loss. Regardless of your financial situation, euthanasia is a painful decision and will leave you with the feelings of "what if". The staff at my vet's office has told me that they are facing more euthanasia procedures because the pet owners are just not able to afford the expense of treatment. You gave your beloved cat a painless passing and you did this out of your love for him. Had you only been concerned with money, you would have taken the cat home and made him suffer until he passed. Don't beat yourself up over this.

Know that regardless how much you spend, not all health issues can be successfully resolved and restore an animal to a quality of life. I tried to move mountains to save one of my dogs--the expense was tremendous. But in the end, money didn't matter; she could not recover. At a specialty vet's urging, I put this sweet little dog that trusted me more than anything through utter hell just so she could breathe a few more weeks (I can't call what she was doing living). I was ready to release her, but the vet kept telling me she would pull through. I listened to the false hope given by this vet, not my heart that told me it was time. Trust me, I understand guilt too.... Find peace in your heart that you did the right thing for your sweet cat.

I recently lost my geriatric dog. Due to my previous experience, my family and I discussed what we wanted for our wonderful, loyal dog and talked about these wishes with our family vet (a wonderful vet--not the one above). In essence we set up Advanced Directives for our sweet guy. Although his passing is very painful to me, I am at peace knowing I didn't make him suffer, go through unsuccessful surgeries, extended ICU stays, and countless medical procedures.

Your sweet kitty is at peace and patting butterflies at the Rainbow Bridge. He knows he was loved.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old October 1st, 2009, 01:33 PM
Love4himies's Avatar
Love4himies Love4himies is offline
Rescue is my fav. breed
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Boating in the 1000 Islands
Posts: 17,763
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles_Joe View Post
Thanks for the kind words friends. It has been so hard, and I guess just hearing someone tell you that you made the right choice makes it easier. It was a little better this morning, but everything just seems so empty here. I know I should clean up his things, the little corners of the house where he had his blankets and pillows that he curled up on, but I can't yet. I keep looking at them and imagining him there. It's so very sad and I suppose that it will take some time to get over the guilt issues. I'm glad i was there with him at the end, and that he knew I was there. I miss you buddy.
It sounds like you have a huge heart. When you are ready, perhaps you can get another sweet kitty that will help fill your home with cheer again. .
__________________
Cat maid to:

Jasper, male Ragdoll ?? (approx 10 yrs)
Rose semi feral, a cpietra rescue, female tabby (approx 7 yrs)

Sweet Pea RIP (2004?-2014)
Puddles RIP (1996-2014)
Snowball RIP (1991-2005)

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.-English Proverb

“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.” Stephen R. Covey
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old October 1st, 2009, 01:52 PM
mastifflover's Avatar
mastifflover mastifflover is offline
Senior Contributor
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Toronto
Posts: 4,007
I think you did the right thing. I was faced with a similar situation when my first mastiff was poisoned and after $1800 and the chances of him surviving the night were slim I had to make the same decision. It is hard and you will still feel guilty even though you did the right thing. My vet said I made the right decision but I still felt terrible. My thought are with you and know you did what was best for your cat, and that is the most important thing.
__________________
Robin
A dog has so many friends because they wag their tails not their tongues.
R.I.P. Buddy 2002-2008 The best Mastiff ever.
Now owned by Clark the Crazy American Bulldog
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old October 1st, 2009, 02:12 PM
BenMax BenMax is offline
Senior Contributor
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 10,191
I understand only too well your feelings. I have been through this on ocassions throughout the years.

I am a true believer in not letting animals suffer. I think you did the right thing.

I am so sorry for your loss. RIP little one.

Find Peace.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old October 2nd, 2009, 04:37 PM
catlover2's Avatar
catlover2 catlover2 is offline
Catlover2
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: GTA (Greater Toronto Area)
Posts: 1,031
I can certainly relate to those guilt feelings. Having had to have quite a few animals euthanized over the years, always left me with guilt feelings, but not as much as one time one of my cats suffered longer than it should have as I delayed and delayed putting off having him put down. Since then I will never let another suffer when it's ready to go.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old October 4th, 2009, 02:10 PM
adammo adammo is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 88
It always makes me sad reading posts like this. I've found animal grief to be the hardest to get over. It took me months to get over my dog passing away. I spent lots of days sad and just had low energy. Like you said i'd see his toys and just feel like someone was punching me in the stomach.

I will tell you what people told me. You probably won't like to hear this but time heals. I didn't believe it, but eventually things started to get better. Everyone grieves differently, take your time, and don't feel guilt!

Good luck to you.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old October 4th, 2009, 03:31 PM
catlover2's Avatar
catlover2 catlover2 is offline
Catlover2
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: GTA (Greater Toronto Area)
Posts: 1,031
adammo, I agree with you. Time does heal, maybe never completely, but it does take a while, and to grieve the loss of someone you loved is a natural thing. My favourite cat died suddenly of a heart attack. I saw her being born and she was very special to me from the beginning until she died suddenly at 16 yrs. of a heart attack. I did go thro quite a grieving process for about 4 months, but then I got a new kitten to keep my other cat company, because she was grieving too as they'd been together since kittenhood. That certainly brought me out of my grief.

Charles_joe, when you're ready, I hope you'll be able to give your love to another kitten or cat. I truly believe that no love is ever lost.

“No heaven will not Heaven ever be,
Unless my cats are there to welcome me.”
- anonymous
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old November 22nd, 2009, 12:45 PM
missinmissy missinmissy is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 2
Unhappy i too feel your pain.

my 8 year old cat came down with a sudden illness about 2 or 3 nights ago... i rushed her to the emergency clinic last night when she was completely lethargic...they told me her liver gave out on her and i could have spent the thousands on tests and medicines that wouldnt guarantee she'd make it through it, or i could have her put to sleep. i chose the latter and i feel so guilty about it :sad: i feel like there was more i could have done and now she's gone. before she passed she seemed to be in so much pain and uncomfortable and i know i put her out of her misery, i just hate that i had to make that choice for her. its killin' me.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old November 22nd, 2009, 02:29 PM
Equla Equla is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Las Vegas, NV USA
Posts: 294
We recently had to make that tough decision with Minnie. She was eating, but kept losing weight. Eventually, she got to the point where she would eat a whole can of food and then ask for more 5 minutes later. Add to that the fact that we were pretty sure she was going blind and had arthritis.

We struggled with our decision. We didn't want to put her to sleep too early and take away life that she would have been happy to live. We also didn't want to wait until it was too late and she was already in pain. We spent weeks trying to find the "sweet spot" where she wasn't in major pain yet, but had lived her life as long as she could healthy.

In addition to our guilt, we got a lot of bad vibes from our roommate. He doesn't believe in euthanasea and thinks we put her to sleep because we didn't want to wake up throughout the night to feed her. That makes me want to scream. After 16 years with my little girl, I was dealing with more than enough to add that to the mix.

Anyway, I wanted you to know that you absolutely did the right thing. You were your kitty's savior. You ended his pain. It's always tough to make that decision and no one ever knows they did the right thing at the right time. Just know that he absolutely knows what you did for him and is thankful.

Unfortunately, the bad thing is I (or anyone here) really can't heal your shattered heart... as much as we wish we could. It will take time and a lot of tears. One day, you will go through a whole day and forget to cry. Then, someday you will go two days.

It helped us to put up a shrine to Minnie. We bought some nice frames and put our favorite pictures in there. We got her cremated and brought her home in a really pretty urn. Now, we feel like she is here with us.

I believe you will see him in the oddest places. Out of the corner of your eye, he'll be sitting on the counter, or sleeping on the sofa. You'll see a stray on the back wall that you swear looks like him, but you couldn't get a good look before the kitty jumped down. I believe they don't go very far... just a little more invisible.
__________________
The Beasts...

The Maine Coon Mafia (litter mates)
Casey - Male Maine Coon, 3 years
Mak - Male Maine Coon, 3 years

The abandoned newcomer: Linus - Male Tabby, 1 year
Minnie - Female Tortie, RIP 9/3/93-8/18/09 (In Heaven, but never far from our hearts)

The Pooches... Best friends for life.
Miko - Male Chi/Terrier mix, 2 years
Mansa - Male Pit Bull, 1 year
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Forum Terms of Use

  • All Bulletin Board Posts are for personal/non-commercial use only.
  • Self-promotion and/or promotion in general is prohibited.
  • Debate is healthy but profane and deliberately rude posts will be deleted.
  • Posters not following the rules will be banned at the Admins' discretion.
  • Read the Full Forum Rules

Forum Details

  • Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
    Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
    vBulletin Optimisation by vB Optimise (Reduced on this page: MySQL 0%).
  • All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:54 PM.