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Old July 22nd, 2004, 02:38 PM
heidiho's Avatar
heidiho heidiho is offline
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Maui,Hawaii
Posts: 4,348
joke

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet
I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked,
"No," she replied,"
but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh,
rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things
that are important to each other."
He addressed the man,
"Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered,
"It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"
The rest of it get's pretty ugly, So I'll stop right here!

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the
aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of Tampons
for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball
of string on the counter.
She says, confused,
"Sir I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, It's like this. Yesterday, I sent
my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
papers; cause it's sooooooooo much cheaper. So,
I figure if I have to roll my own..............so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and
pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day " don't know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
"The wife responded," Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
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Old July 22nd, 2004, 03:06 PM
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Princesss04 Princesss04 is offline
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Veedersburg, IN
Posts: 3,140
Very funny!
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Check out my new photo gallery
[url]http://www.pets.ca/forum/gallery/index.php?[/url]

Proud mommy to...
Meat Loaf (Brittany Spaniel) 13 months
CryBaby (5 years old)living with grandpa now
Chino (Doberman mix) 7 months old
2 new kittens (8 weeks old) Felix and Gizmo
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