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Old May 14th, 2004, 08:23 PM
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woodbyter woodbyter is offline
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2010 Winter Olympics & Vancouver

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!!! These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

Q1 I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q2 Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q3 I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . ..

Q4 Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

Q5 It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q6 Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q7 Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . .. . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q8 Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q9 Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q10 Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. .oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q11 Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q12 I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q13 Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q14 Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q15 Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q16 I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget it's name. It's a kind of big horse with horns.(USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q17 I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q18 Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

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Old May 14th, 2004, 08:43 PM
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chico2 chico2 is offline
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Funny Woody!!! Of course the poor nudity-crazed Swedes had to get involved Before we came to Canada,I actually thought Canadian Indians wore clothes we see in the movies,feathers and all and lived in Tee-pees
We learned about just about every country in the world in school,but somehow Canada was left out,people thought it was part of the US..
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Old May 15th, 2004, 09:33 PM
Bill & Bob Bill & Bob is offline
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That is absolutely beutiful. Woodie? Quick question... Have you ever seen the show called Rick Mercer's Talking to Americans? If so, what did you think of it? I heard that once it caught on in the media down there it didn't go over so well. People got offended. Personally I thought it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen on TV.
My fave is the one where everyone was saying "Canada, congratulations on finally going on the 24 hour clock." or "legalizing VCR's".
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Old May 15th, 2004, 11:36 PM
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cmt489 cmt489 is offline
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Oliver, Nadia and I are Laughing our A**es off as we sit here typing, looking out the window in downtown Vancouver at the lush greenery and Coal Harbour. Cheers with a stunning glass of Burrowing Owl Pinot Gris (a wonderful BC wine for those of you who are wondering...)

Michelle
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