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Old February 5th, 2004, 10:14 AM
Dee_petlover's Avatar
Dee_petlover Dee_petlover is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 118
Talking thought this was cute!!

>Don't know who wrote it came by email to me today enjoy!

Subject: If Dogs Sent Letters to God.....
>Dear God,

>Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
>Dear God,

>When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

>Dear God,

>Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog . How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

>Dear God,
>
>If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he
>still a bad dog?

>Dear God,
>
>We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
>whistles,horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy
>fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

>Dear God,
>
>More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

>Dear God,
>
>When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

>Dear God,
>
>Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

>Dear God,
>
>Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a
>good dog:
>

>- I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it
>up.

>- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like
>the way they smell.

>- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are
>tasty, they are not food.

>- The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

>- The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
>
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

>- My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

>- I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's
>license and registration.

>- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

>- Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying
>'hello.'

>- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
>coffee table.

>- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.

>- I will not throw up in the car.

>- I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

>- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.

>- The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

>Dear God,
>
>May I have my testicles back?
__________________
DEE
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