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thought this was cute!!
>Don't know who wrote it came by email to me today enjoy!
Subject: If Dogs Sent Letters to God..... >Dear God, >Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? >Dear God, >When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story? >Dear God, >Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog . How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? >Dear God, > >If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he >still a bad dog? >Dear God, > >We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, >whistles,horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy >fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? >Dear God, > >More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. >Dear God, > >When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in? >Dear God, > >Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? >Dear God, > >Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a >good dog: > >- I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it >up. >- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like >the way they smell. >- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are >tasty, they are not food. >- The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. >- The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps. > The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. >- My head does not belong in the refrigerator. >- I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's >license and registration. >- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. >- Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying >'hello.' >- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the >coffee table. >- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house. >- I will not throw up in the car. >- I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet. >- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over. >- The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. >Dear God, > >May I have my testicles back?
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DEE |
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