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Old May 17th, 2006, 03:49 AM
erykah1310's Avatar
erykah1310 erykah1310 is offline
Blue eyed funny farm
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 5,595
Animal diary

Got this a while back and thought it was cute, cleaning out my folders and had to post this
Enjoy


Entries in a Dog's Diary:
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!


Entries in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity ... My captors continued to taunt me
with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to
kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Must try this
on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to
my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use
it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches.

The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return.
He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. She
speaks with them regularly. I am certain she reports my every move. Due to
her current placement in the metal container, her safety is assured.

But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.



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