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Old May 8th, 2005, 07:11 PM
Terrie's Avatar
Terrie Terrie is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Windsor Ontario Canada
Posts: 281
Letter to our Cats & Dogs

Dear Dogs and Cats:
> When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
> with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
> The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
> other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
> in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming
> your
> food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
> me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
> faster than you can run.
> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about
> this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your
> comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl
> in a
> ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched
> to the
> fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and
> having
> tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but
> sarcasm.
> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
> some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
> necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw
> the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door
> that I entered. In addition, I have been using the bathroom for years
> - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog's or cat's
> butt.
> I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
> To pacify you, I have posted the following message on our front door.
> Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:
> 1. They live here. You don't.
> 2. If you don't want their hair! on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
> 3. I like my pet better than I like most people.
> 4. To you it's an animal. To me he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is
> short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
> 5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money
> all the time, and are easier to train. They usually come when called,
> drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't drink or
> smoke,
> don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes,
> don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant,
> you can sell the results.
" In dog years, I'm dead !" ! "
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Old May 9th, 2005, 07:48 AM
Lise's Avatar
Lise Lise is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 517
Thankyou so much for posting that!Too funny
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Old May 9th, 2005, 02:44 PM
Princesss04's Avatar
Princesss04 Princesss04 is offline
Senior Contributor
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Veedersburg, IN
Posts: 3,140
Terrie, too cute! And so VERY TRUE!
Check out my new photo gallery

Proud mommy to...
Meat Loaf (Brittany Spaniel) 13 months
CryBaby (5 years old)living with grandpa now
Chino (Doberman mix) 7 months old
2 new kittens (8 weeks old) Felix and Gizmo
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