Go Back   Pet forum for dogs cats and humans - Pets.ca > Discussion Groups - mainly cats and dogs > On topic - Pet chat, opinions, feelings and rants > Pet Stories - anecdotes - jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old December 2nd, 2004, 01:42 AM
Meghan_K's Avatar
Meghan_K Meghan_K is offline
Senior member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 163
Humourous

Sigh...here are a couple more I just couldn't resist posting. (Suggestion-a forum for jokes? Just an idea...)


Why It's GREAT To Be A DOG!

No one expects you to take a bath every day. When it's raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired. You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you're insensitive. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter what itches no one is offended if you scratch it in public. It's okay if you never "amount to anything" except being a dog. If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices. You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger's lap. Nobody thinks less of you for passing gas in public. Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, drinks, or anything else for that matter. A chew toy can entertain you for hours. There's no such thing as bad food. No one gets mad if you fall asleep while they're talking. You can sleep late every day. People think you're normal if you stick your head out the window to feel the wind in your hair. You never have to worry about good table manners. Someone else combs your hair. Your mate never complains because you whine. Everything smells good to you. You're always excited to see the same old people. Every garbage can is a fast-food stop. And if you gain weight, it's someone else's fault!




In a perfect world....

"Cat Commandments"


Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the computer.

Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor as if thou art transparent.

Thou shall not projectile hair balls from the top of the refrigerator.

Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.

Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.

Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.

Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 a.m.

Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.

Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

Thou shall remember that thou are a carnivore,houseplants are not meat.

Thou shall pee only in thy litter box.

Thou shall attempt to show remorse when being scolded.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old December 2nd, 2004, 08:12 AM
chico2's Avatar
chico2 chico2 is offline
Senior Contributor
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Oakville Ontario
Posts: 26,593
Awwww,if only cats could read! Very true,very funny!!
__________________
"The cruelest animal is the Human animal"
3 kitties,Rocky(r.i.p my boy),Chico,Vinnie
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Forum Terms of Use

  • All Bulletin Board Posts are for personal/non-commercial use only.
  • Self-promotion and/or promotion in general is prohibited.
  • Debate is healthy but profane and deliberately rude posts will be deleted.
  • Posters not following the rules will be banned at the Admins' discretion.
  • Read the Full Forum Rules

Forum Details

  • Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
    Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
    vBulletin Optimisation by vB Optimise (Reduced on this page: MySQL 0%).
  • All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:50 PM.