Don't have time for their pooch? - Pet forum for dogs cats and humans

Schwinn · #1 January 13th, 2005, 05:33 PM

I've been looking at some of the shelter and Humane Society sites (rather dumb on my part, might wind up with a brother or sister for Daisy), and I've notice a lot of dogs that are dumped because the owner "doesn't have time for them". Now, forgetting the whole issue of why they would get a dog in the first place if they don't have time (let's assume that thier situation changed unexpectedly after they got the pooch), I wanted to get some opinions on that? Personally, I find that kind of wierd. I mean, I'm not even sure what that means? Some of these dogs are a couple of years old (and most are pitbulls, so I'm leaning towards this being an excuse), but I've heard people say that before. My personal opinion is that if the dog is taken care of (well fed, treated well, allowed to go outside for breaks), then the important thing is the dog is happy. Ideally, we would take Daisy to a 50 acre field and let her chase snowballs and run around until she collapsed of exhaustion, thinking she just hit the puppy jackpot. Unfortunatly, I leave at 6 am and get home at 9:30 pm, and with my wife being pregnant, there are times were she collapses on the couch and falls asleep, unable to take Daisy in the backyard for 20 minutes of bubble chasing time. As guilty as we feel, I don't think we could fathom getting rid of her, especially since she seems happy, and we do our best to give her attention when we are home. It could be argued that our situation is only temporary, but I still come to the same conclusion--"Don't have time for her" just sounds like a bogus reason to get rid of your dog. It sounds like someone getting rid of a set of golf clubs, or pair of skiis they don't use, because they "don't have time anymore".

mastifflover · #2 January 13th, 2005, 06:02 PM

I agree with you it is an excuse just as we are having a baby so we have to rehome our dog. Are you getting rid of Daisy, No you will work to make sure she is not jealous and is comfortable with the baby she will be fine it just requires a little extra work. When I work on some shows I am out 14-16 hours a day but I make sure my dog has a walker or goes to day care but get rid of him, never cross my mind. You have to adapt. There are times he gets me home all day and then off to work at night, so I am sure he would rather be at home with me even if I was sleeping then be sitting in a shelter waiting to be adopted by someone. They love us and put up with a lot and will adapt to most situation. Look at Gypsy and Twinmommy how she has worked to make it all work and we know it has not been easy. It is a lame excuse and 99% of the time that is all it is, is and excuse.

CarlaD · #3 January 13th, 2005, 06:30 PM

It makes me totally sad when I read things like that.

The same thing if someone says " I took my puppy back, because I didn't sleep for three nights and he kept peeing in the house" HELLO ... think about it, it is just like a human baby.

Rottimom · #4 January 13th, 2005, 07:01 PM

I cannot fathom any situation which would make me "Get rid" of Hercules. He is part of my family and much to the amusement of some of my friends or family, he is my child. We are trying to get pregnant, and NO part of my future includes getting rid of Hercules. No matter how much work it will take to adjust to a new baby, it will be well worth it. Getting rid of him is not an option.

I try not to judge someone whose shoes I have not walked in, but I do not agree with or understand people who get rid of a family pet because they have no time. MAKE the time.

I believe that Herc is a very lucky dog because of how much he is loved, but he deserves no less. He is a faithful, non-judgemental and loyal friend. He makes me laugh and smile every single day. What could be worth more than that?

Schwinn · #5 January 13th, 2005, 07:05 PM

If there were problems, why would it be Daisy I'd get rid of? I mean, she was there first?

(Here's hoping that the Children's Aid doesn't do "pre-emptive strikes"...

)

meb999 · #6 January 13th, 2005, 07:47 PM

I've always thought that 'don't have time for him anymore' meant I don't have time to train him...therefor, he pees, poops and destroys the house...
Alot of people think that the dog across the street is SOOO cute and get one just like him. They don't realise that it took the people across the street months and months of hard work to get the dog to obey like that!
I think people should have to get a licence to be alowed to get a dog!

meb999 · #7 January 13th, 2005, 07:59 PM

The other that really gets me is when I see senior dogs up for adoption. How can you put up a dog that's been in your family for 9 or 10 years up for adoption -- especially knowing their chances of getting a home are almost 0%???
It's bad enough to get rid of your young dog, because you're clueless and weren't thinking when you got him...but to get rid of a member of your family who's been around for a decade????
It breaks my heart

Copper'sMom · #8 January 13th, 2005, 10:58 PM

This is so sad! These are usually the people who bought the dog for their kids as a present or their kids want a dog soooo bad that they promise to take care of the animal so the parents don't have to do it! Or it was cute as a pup, and when it got bigger it wasn't cute and fun anymore.

lil_kirk · #9 January 14th, 2005, 08:37 AM

Last night my better half and I went to the SPCA to see a 2 year old dog. He was the sweetest thing--he was dumped apparently because he bit a child in the house. Let me first say that toy dogs don't usually "bite" they nip--because they've been stepped on, their tails have been pulled, or kids have played too rough.

Anyways, when we went in we saw all of the cages lined up with one dog in each pen. There were about 20 large breed dogs and two toy dogs. We were there to see the toy dog because we live in a small apartment. Anyways--it was SOOO sad to see them all standing there looking helpless. Not one single large breed dog barked when we walked in--they simply gave us the saddest "please help me out of here" look I've ever seen.

When they brought the little guy out for us to take for a walk--we thought it would be nice to give him a chance to run around--all of the dogs started to cry--and it was our fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't sleep at all last night--I was in tears for these homeless dogs. It's just sooooooo sad...they have no one...no love, no hope, nothing. People are so cruel. How can you just dump a member of your family like that? Why not turn the judgement on yourself and say "maybe I didn't train him well enough or my kids" and work on that!

Maybe he didn't nip anyone at all..maybe they just got tired of him not being a puppy...

chico2 · #10 January 14th, 2005, 09:03 AM

I can honestly say,I would no more"dump"an animal in my care,than I would have any of my kids."No time for"is a selfish cruel excuse,do they really think the dog/cat will have a better life at SPCA

The"afraid for the baby"thing is just another sorry excuse...they probably just do not love the animal enough,I LOVE my cats with all my heart and short of me dying,they will never be abandonned,even then I have made arrangements for them.
I admire you girls/guys for going in looking at the dogs in a shelter,I visit the HS here about once a month,but only in the office to drop of toys,blankets,towels etc..they always have cages of cats even in the lobby and I always leave with tears streaming down my face :sad: and I'm getting worse as I am getting older.
They have a few cats running around freely,one has been there for nearly two years.

Dukieboy · #11 January 14th, 2005, 09:47 AM

I can't go into the Humane anymore but I check the shelters online daily. It blows me away the number of pitbulls that are just given up. It seems like the THS and TAS get more pitbulls on a D A I L Y basis. With the hatred for the breed(s) that Bryant has cultivated I just don't see these dogs finding forever homes. It's a crime. I would love for Dukie to have a buddy but thats just not possible. I have watched him play with his sister(Alice lives at my daughters house) and they are quite wild. We don't get them together too often because when we took them camping together in the summer it was clear that if they spent too much time together they would form thier own little pack. I have noted a pattern. Most reports of attacks usually involve two dogs. Rarely one. So the lack of attention, training and socialization with other types of dogs coupled with the bond between the dogs can spell trouble.

Schwinn · #12 January 14th, 2005, 10:07 AM

I've decided I need to stop visiting the sites as well. I came in the door last night, and Daisy nearly bowled me over running into me to say "hi". It breaks my heart thinking of those poor guys and thier fate.

We were talking last night about "not having time", and my wife was telling me about her assistant manager who got rid of thier dog when they had a baby. She said that it was "an italian thing to do". She is one of the few "mange cakes", and she hung out with an italian crowd when she lived in Thunder Bay, and she says that she saw this all the time. She knew one couple who lived for thier dog, then got rid of it as soon as they had a baby, like it was no big deal. I find that very wierd.

Dukieboy · #13 January 14th, 2005, 10:11 AM

I don't get it either. All of my animals over the years once adopted, became F A M I L Y.

hddlstn02 · #14 January 14th, 2005, 01:22 PM

I don't understand this either. My animals are my babies! I get very upset going to the Humane Soc. or the websites b/c I want to bring them all home w/ me, but know I can't. I'm sure all of the animals in places like this were once someone's babies & now they've just been thrown away like a piece of trash. I know ppl say animals don't have feelings like ppl do, but I can't believe that they don't feel sad when they're in a place like that... You can see it in their eyes.

Anyway, like I said earlier, my animals are my babies, but I don't always have time of play w/ them or just sit w/ them, I wish I did, but I just can't quit working to stay home w/ them. All any animal wants is a little recognition. I agree w/ everyone who said "Don't have time for" is just a sorry excuse... It definitly is! But, I believe in karma, so it will come back to them, one day they will be even.

lezzpezz · #15 January 14th, 2005, 01:49 PM

A co-worker just told me possibly the worst excuse I have ever heard of for planning on getting rid of a dog. Her friend, whom she has know for years to be an avid animal lover, horse owner and trainer, and has supported many animal causes, floored her yesterday by telling her that she has to find a new home for her 6 year old golden retriever . This dog, since puppyhood, as had several acres of land to run around on, barns to snoop around in and other pets of all sorts to play with. The owner has never believed in tying the dog or containing it in any way, and the dog has been living in heaven for all of it's life. Comes and goes as he pleases. The unbelievable reason for wanting to "get rid" of the dog is: "it gets too dirty and I always have to clean it". Now, who do you suppose initiated this behaviour??????? I guess that the dog is no longer considered family? What a shame! My friend is still in total disbelief, as this is not like the woman at all to think like this, let alone act on it. My co-worker has suggested some positive things and even went as far as to suggest another lady whose golden past away in the last year, as an alternate home.

Carina · #16 January 14th, 2005, 02:45 PM

Actually, I can understand the "don't have time for the dog" rationale. Some dogs just need more than a particular owner can provide - be it special training, huge exercise needs, the owner just made a poor choice, whatever. Sometimes rather than making the dog adapt to a less than optimal life just isn't fair to the dog.

I did re-home a dog that I "didn't have time for." (Donning flame suit, haha.) Actually the deal was....she was an absolutely, utterly, adorable and wonderful French Bulldog. She was an adult (retired show dog from a horrible breeder) when I got her....at the time, I had a very hectic schedule. I was also fostering the occasional dog....and I was single & had a friend renting part of my house; so although I was sometimes gone 10-12 hours a day, my friend was home much of the time so the dogs & cats were rarely alone. I would get up at 5am just to walk the dogs in the adjacent fields, (they also had a huge fenced yard & could come in & out of the house at will.) PLUS I had a stand-by pet sitter who would come by on very short notice to give the dogs some extra attention and loving in the middle of the day. Whenever possible, the dogs would come with me, even just on car rides to the grocery store. Oh, PLUS I did drop in obedience training with them.

I'm just writing all this to point out that I was hardly neglecting the dogs! I went to great trouble to make sure they had tons of interaction and adventures. However, Maggie was very unhappy and anxious if she did not have a regular schedule she could rely on. She also became ridiculously attached to me, and even with other people around all day, would go poop in corners of the house, would pace, etc.

I decided that yes, I could work on her seperation anxiety, I could work on finding a way to get her to adapt. But I loved her so much, I thought what was best for HER was to be in as perfect a home as possible.

However, I did not dump her at the pound or stick a free ad in the paper!!

I went through French Bulldog rescue. I found her a perfect, perfect home 500 miles away....this took a couple of months of communication, reference checking, etc. She went to a young/retired childless couple who baby-sat their neighbor's Frenchie 5 days a week while they were at work. They really, really wanted their own. So we drove & met half way.....Maggie became the absolute pampered princess she deserved to be. I got pictures, cards, and emails about her for years...she became the center of this couple's life, and she got to boss around a boy Frenchie 5 days a week!

My animals are part of my family, but they are not my "babies" or "children." If I had one that wasn't able to adjust easily, yes I would let that pet go to someone who would give it a better life, for the animal's sake. But I wouldn't do it without everything short of FBI checks and absolute certainty that it was the right situation, not just casually handing a family member over to someone who said "oh yeah, I'll take her."

lezzerpezzer - that's awful about that Golden.

Writing4Fun · #17 January 14th, 2005, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schwinn

She said that it was "an italian thing to do".

Ahem... (clears throat, takes a sip of cappucino and has a biscotti to calm her ruffled feathers)

Actually, I do know what you mean. It's very "old school". Not strictly Italian, but old school European at least. It stems from the mentality that animals are just that - animals. They are livestock, to be used while they're there and then disposed of when they are no longer needed or the situation warrants. Hopefully, this mentality will dissipate through the generations (I know my kids won't harbour it!).

Don't even get me started on the whole "cleanliness" thing!

PS. My all-time favorite excuse was "Gee, we didn't know that the Lab/Great Dane cross we bought from the pet store was going to get so big, now he doesn't fit in our bachelor appartment!"

Carina · #18 January 14th, 2005, 04:05 PM

One that REALLY ticks me off:
"Moving, landlord won't let me keep...."
Arghh!

Don't some people THINK?

Schwinn · #19 January 14th, 2005, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Writing4Fun

Ahem... (clears throat, takes a sip of cappucino and has a biscotti to calm her ruffled feathers)

Actually, I do know what you mean. It's very "old school". Not strictly Italian, but old school European at least. It stems from the mentality that animals are just that - animals. They are livestock, to be used while they're there and then disposed of when they are no longer needed or the situation warrants. Hopefully, this mentality will dissipate through the generations (I know my kids won't harbour it!).

Don't even get me started on the whole "cleanliness" thing!

PS. My all-time favorite excuse was "Gee, we didn't know that the Lab/Great Dane cross we bought from the pet store was going to get so big, now he doesn't fit in our bachelor appartment!"

Ooops...(pulls out dark green suit he wore to Italian wedding where someone thought he was mafia)

Sorry! I didn't mean that to be disparaging. After dating an Italian for a year, and after my wife being "surrounded" by Italian's in Newmarket, it did seem an interesting that there seemed to be a prevailing attitude. My buddy at work is Italian, and we were talking about "Italian ideals". It was kind of comical, actually. Being a mangia checha, I find these things amusing

CyberKitten · #20 January 14th, 2005, 04:44 PM

"Don't have time" really is just a euphemism - catch all phrase for we don't want the dog/cat any more and do not want to put the time, energy and other resources into training him or her. It means they did not think when they adopted or purchased the dog - an impulse thing which seems unfortunately something we often see in our society, sigh!!!

Writing4Fun · #21 January 14th, 2005, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schwinn

Sorry! I didn't mean that to be disparaging.

Don't worry, it wasn't.

Believe me, I grew up with the plastic-covered sofas and sausages hanging from the playroom ceiling.

Whenever we get together with our "mangia cake" friends, my sister and I tell stories from our childhood - we've perfected it almost to the point of a stand-up routine.

Back to the topic at hand: why do they immediately give up the dog when the kids come around? Because it's what Mom is telling them to do. You see, Mom doesn't know anything other than what she sees on TV and what her well-meaning relatives have told her. So if Zia Mary tells her that a dog attacked her friend's cousin's sister-in-law's friend's baby, then all dogs are evil and need to leave the premises before the baby comes along. That, and the fact that dogs are mangy, dirty, butt-licking creatures who drag all sorts of filth and germs into the house, which everyone knows spells certain disaster for the baby.

(personally, I think a certain amount of filth and germs is good for kids, but that's just me

) Does this make them evil people? No, it's just that it's all they know (or don't know, as the case may be).

That's why I'm hoping the next generations will have these tendancies bred out of them!

Schwinn · #22 January 14th, 2005, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Writing4Fun

That's why I'm hoping the next generations will have these tendancies bred out of them!

Yea, it's too bad we weren't as discerning as we are about breeding dogs!

CyberKitten · #23 January 14th, 2005, 06:19 PM

Re: personally, I think a certain amount of filth and germs is good for kids, but that's just me

There is actually something scientific to that. Mind you, I am biased since my grandmother - the one who managed a feral colony years before TNR became an anacronym - always said that "a little dirt never hurt anyone."

Most studies show that children who spend time with a lot of other children - ie at daycare, in the playground and so on - you know what I mean

- may well end up with more colds and other so called childhood dieases BUT they tend to have better immune systems throughout their life time. By being in contact with "dirt" so to speak, their systems adjust to it and so they are better able to fight those things that sneak in that should not be there, like a flu virus for example.

Personally, I think the same is true for animals - provided they have good health care, are vaccinated and are well care for of course!! The cat who lives in a sterile environment would have a tough time surviving anywhere else.

glasslass · #24 January 14th, 2005, 07:25 PM

If my dog is dirty, it would be because I was too lazy to groom him. Give me a break! After Den-Den2 died, my mother-in-law told me we should travel now that we weren't tied down anymore. How's that for sympathy! I answered back that we planned to get "tied down" again as soon as possible. I think she realized she had hit a nerve and I was willing to debate the issue with her

because she dropped it right now. Normally, I would have just ignored the unfeeling comment, but not on that topic!

glasslass · #25 January 14th, 2005, 07:26 PM

Not to mention the mental health benefits of a pet in the home!

carey · #26 January 14th, 2005, 07:59 PM

The deeper question is: are SPCA's and shelters part of the problem or part of the solution? If it was not so easy to "dump" people's pets, then these same people would have to think twice about getting rid of them - part of responsible pet ownership is taking responsibility for your pet and if a situation changes to absolutely prevent them keeping the animal, then the onus should be on them, as the pet's guardian, to find a new home - dumping at a shelter should be the LAST resort only.

Writing4Fun · #27 January 14th, 2005, 08:07 PM

Someone else once suggested that it should be more difficult to "dump" your pets at the shelter. My response to them was that would only encourage/force people to dump them in the woods/farm fields or "take care of" matters themselves.

carey · #28 January 14th, 2005, 08:34 PM

Some people might think that, but there is some evidence to show otherwise (although, I cannot remember where I read it). If pet owners have provided relatively good homes to their pet, but must give them up, a very small minority would actually "kill" or "dump" their animals - more likely, they would post ads, ask family, etc. to find a new home. Some shelters accept owned animals at no cost which makes it way too easy to give them up. Also, if someone buys on impulse without understanding they are taking on responsibility for life, their animals often end up at shelters with the usual excuses. And so the cycle continues. Humane education must include the message that animals should not be treated as a commodity, to be bought, sold, dumped or disposed of wheneven a person feels like it.

twinmommy · #29 January 14th, 2005, 08:34 PM

Quote:

"Don't have time" really is just a euphemism - catch all phrase for we don't want the dog/cat any more and do not want to put the time, energy and other resources into training him or her. It means they did not think when they adopted or purchased the dog - an impulse thing which seems unfortunately something we often see in our society, sigh!!!

So true Cyberkitten!! And the sad thing is, aside from certain very energetic breeds, they really don't require all tht much time, they are just unconditionally happy and content to be with us. They are more willling to adapt than people give credit. I've moved 3 times in 5 years including a short stint out west(ern Canada) and my brood adapted well everytime. Sure there were periods of adjustment, but you don't give someone away because of it.

but that's just my opinion, I would also tell people "NEVER SAY NEVER" and "don't judge!!" because while your priorities may be written in stone, your circumstances may not be..........