Standard of Care for Dog

[bnus440]

My parents are 91 & 87 years old. For a long time they haven't been able to take their Cocker Spaniel for walks. Dog gets no exercise. Dog poos & pees just outside the house right where people enter the house. Dog has weakness in rear legs, poor hearing. For the sake of standards of normal care for a pet, and household cleanliness, would a vet please say now that it's time to find another home for this dog so we can put in new carpeting and clean the house properly? Dog has accidents in the house, and there is hair everywhere. People don't want to visit. Would a vet help us with this issue if we took dog to vet and asked these questions? Thanks! Bob

[SnowDancer]

I have to ask - could you or another family member take your parents' dog? Many elderly people die and fully expect their beloved pet will be cared for by their children/grandchildren - or other beneficiaries. This unfortunately is not always the case and the beloved pets are sent to rescues. For this reason we have written our wills leaving our estate and our dog to people we know will take our guy - they don't need to in Canada - they could just take the money. But these people would take our dog - our family members would not - just the cash. I don't mean to sound harsh but you can bet your vet will ask the same question.

[Love4himies]

I don't think the law states you have to walk your dog, however you do have to provide medical care. Does the dog have a diagnosis on the weakness in the hind legs?

Are you more concerned about the dog or the condition of the house?

How are your parents feeling about the dog? Do they feel they can no longer care for this dog? Will they be heartbroken if the dog was taken away?

How old is the dog? Will he be heartbroken if he was taken away?

[Chris21711]

Originally Posted by Love4himies

I don't think the law states you have to walk your dog, however you do have to provide medical care. Does the dog have a diagnosis on the weakness in the hind legs?

Are you more concerned about the dog or the condition of the house?

How are your parents feeling about the dog? Do they feel they can no longer care for this dog? Will they be heartbroken if the dog was taken away?

How old is the dog? Will he be heartbroken if he was taken away?

L4H you took the words right out of my mouth on all four counts

[bnus440]

Thank you so much for your replies. Please understand, I love dogs. It is not that I care more for the house than the dog. But the dog is older, no one but my Mom likes this dog -- not a normal pet, from a breeding factory, has no interest in people, no normal dog instincts. We 3 children, yes, are more concerned with a variety of issues I can't go into here that would simply be less difficult to deal with if the dog passed away. Please don't make me play favorites here. I am only asking, what happens when they are too old to properly care for a pet? Is there a point when you can say, "Mom, you are not able to give Dixie what she needs anymore"? Thanks so much, Bob

[clm]

I don't know if you're from Canada or not, but if you are, and your father is a war vetran, you can get free housekeeping service and yard service from the gov't. That would help you and your siblings regarding the state of the house and allow your parents to keep their dog. Maybe they have something similar in the US.
Do you or your siblings live close to your parents. Couldn't one of you or your children help out and walk the dog once a day?
Maybe get a dog walking service or a neighborhood kid to come walk the dog for them.
Sure it's easier for you if the dog isn't around, but that's not what looking after aging parents is about. I would look into all the available services to help with the upkeep of the house and looking after the dog. Your parents cared for you and your pets as children, your turn now.

Cindy

[Love4himies]

Great suggestions, clm.

[ancientgirl]

clm has offered some great suggestions.

I think the least you can do is perhaps take turns and walk your parent's dog. His weak hind legs might be due in part to the fact he has no exercise. Your parents likely have not been able to walk him for a very long time.

If you are 3, then maybe you can all chip in to get a cleaning service to come 2 times a month. I just had my apartment completely cleaned, it cost me $100 but was well worth it. At the very least, it may cost you a bit at the beginning, but once the home is clean, then maintaining will be easier.

[JennieV]

Originally Posted by bnus440

Thank you so much for your replies. Please understand, I love dogs. It is not that I care more for the house than the dog. But the dog is older, no one but my Mom likes this dog -- not a normal pet, from a breeding factory, has no interest in people, no normal dog instincts. We 3 children, yes, are more concerned with a variety of issues I can't go into here that would simply be less difficult to deal with if the dog passed away. Please don't make me play favorites here. I am only asking, what happens when they are too old to properly care for a pet? Is there a point when you can say, "Mom, you are not able to give Dixie what she needs anymore"? Thanks so much, Bob

Originally Posted by bnus440

My parents are 91 & 87 years old. For a long time they haven't been able to take their Cocker Spaniel for walks. Dog gets no exercise. Dog poos & pees just outside the house right where people enter the house. Dog has weakness in rear legs, poor hearing. For the sake of standards of normal care for a pet, and household cleanliness, would a vet please say now that it's time to find another home for this dog so we can put in new carpeting and clean the house properly? Dog has accidents in the house, and there is hair everywhere. People don't want to visit. Would a vet help us with this issue if we took dog to vet and asked these questions? Thanks! Bob

I have to wonder, what is important to you? your parents well-being or new carpets? the dog's health or the fact that he is having accidents in the house? what is normal dog instincts to you? Does he dog have identified health problems? Does it behave aggressively towards other people?

So far, ALL I get from your posts is that the dog is an inconvenience. Unfortunately, just because people get older doesn't mean they have to stop living, or get rid of their beloved furry companions. It is your responsibility as a child, caring for an older parent, to come up with a suitable solution: if it is re-homing - your parents have to be okay with it and you have to make sure the dog is in shape to be adopted out. If all the dog needs is regular walks - arrange for someone to walk him if you or siblings can't/won't. It won't cost you that much.

Frankly, like I said, all I personally get from your posts is that you pretty much hope the dog just dies and you would be relieved.

So what is your question to us? you want us to give you the okay to go get rid of the dog? You want us to tell you that you are right and should dispose of the dog? Well, I can't speak for everyone, but certainly for me - that is unacceptable. JMHO.

[Jim Hall]

sounds like your folks need help first

[bnus440]

Thanks for all your replies! Last one hit it, yes, my folks need help. They are not safe in their home, and need to move into assisted living where the dog could not go with them. I said there were many issues here I could not elaborate on, and tried to ask a simple question, but I quickly became the bad guy, and the dog became the most important factor here, when really, the dog is not. I'm so sorry that sometimes people feel animals are more important than people. Pets are great, but frankly, yes, I am more concerned for my parents than this failing dog they are no longer able to properly care for.

[ancientgirl]

No one here is saying your parents aren't important. But, it's been seen before, when a parent who has a pet they can no longer care for it is sent to a shelter.

I think many of us here understand what it's like when the role of parent and child start to become reversed. However, since many of us are animal lovers and think of our pets as family members, what you suggested is basically abandoning a family member.

Help your parents, most certainly. Make things as easy and comfortable for them as possible, but know that this dog is very special to them, and it's hard to love something and have it be taken from you because it's the easy thing for someone else to do.

My father is a healthy man, but the day he is no longer able to care for himself, and needs assisted living, the last thing I'm going to do is take his dog away, and if I have to, I'm darn sure taking that dog in to my home.

I'm sorry, but you seem to be upset because we didn't give you the answers you were hoping for, but many of us see things differently when it comes to animals.

[Love4himies]

I don't think it is the fact of us caring for animals more than humans (although I do like a lot of animals more than some people I know), but most of us understand the love that an owner can have for thier pets. I would be furious with my child if they wanted to rid me of my pet that I didn't want to part with. Getting older can be depressing enough without having our loved ones being taken from us. Life should be about quality, not quantity and if they feel a quality life includes their pup, then they should keep it.

As suggested, is it possible to get somebody in to walk the dog and clean up it's business so the dog is getting cared for, but allows your parents to keep him?

[luckypenny]

My late father-in-law's dog meant the world to him. At 88 years old, after several strokes, partially deaf, mostly blind, and suffering from cancer, his dog Peanut gave him reason to get up every morning and embrace life with hope and love.

We often discussed if he wouldn't be better cared for in a residence for the elderly rather than alone in his home...so we asked him what he thought of it. His reply? "That's where I'll go if I'm waiting to die....I want to live."

And he did. With his sons, daugter-in-laws, and grandchildren taking care of him and allowing him to live his last days as he wanted. We took care of all his needs so he could focus on the love of his life, his Peanut, who gave him the most precious gift in return, a reason to be.

And Peanut, he was 14 years old at the time, had skin cancer, often had accidents in the house, and we took the best care we knew how of him, for his human.

As parents, we only have one chance to do the best we can....as children, we only have one chance to do the best we can. They both taught us some very valuable life lessons. I'd do all over again, anything to have them both here with us now :sad:.

[NoahGrey]

I agree with everyone on here. I have to say, I think it is sad that in 2009 animals are still thought of disposal.

ACO22

[goldengal]

Luckypenny ..... Your post brought tears to my eyes. If only more thought the way we do. I hope many read your words, and learn from them.

Pat

[LavenderRott]

Originally Posted by bnus440

Thanks for all your replies! Last one hit it, yes, my folks need help. They are not safe in their home, and need to move into assisted living where the dog could not go with them. I said there were many issues here I could not elaborate on, and tried to ask a simple question, but I quickly became the bad guy, and the dog became the most important factor here, when really, the dog is not. I'm so sorry that sometimes people feel animals are more important than people. Pets are great, but frankly, yes, I am more concerned for my parents than this failing dog they are no longer able to properly care for.

If you had simply posted that your elderly parents needed to move to an assisted living facility and were unable to take an elderly, ailing dog - you may have gotten much different responses then the ones you did. We are not completely heartless. But if you read your original posts (and try to do so objectively) you must admit that for someone who has never met you and knows nothing about you or your situation - it certainly looks like you are more concerned about the carpet then the dog.

Most of the people that have answered you are people who clean up the messes that are left behind. Elderly, ill dogs that are just dumped like unwanted garbage find homes with these people who care for them and love them until they die.

Call some rescue groups. Explain your whole situation - not just the part about the dog having accidents on the carpet - and someone might be able to help you rehome the dog.

[JennieV]

I agree with LavenderRott, you have not explained yourself well enough for us to see the entire situation. I do not think that animals are more important than humans, but I have also seen too many cases of disposal due to such trivial factors as you have mentioned.

I apologize if I was harsh in my words previously, I did not mean to sound like I was judging you...But reading your two posts - is very hard to see the whole situation and give proper advice. You should have definitely mentioned these factors, rather than bring up accidents and carpet, for this is much more serious issue.

You should definitely contact the rescues to help you rehome the dog.

Good luck!