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Old March 16th, 2010, 02:42 AM
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.nanama .nanama is offline
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"Dog loving" friend is driving me nuts

EDIT: OOPS!! Please move this thread to general!!!! THANKS!



I have a friend of over 13 years, we'll call her Ashley. Ashley has always been a huge dog person... She got her first dog from a friend. The dog is named "Cocoa" and she's a terrier mix. I don't much believe in stereotyping dogs by their breed, but this dog is a bat out of hell and Ashley blames it on the fact that she's a terrier.

The dog is three years old now, and has very little training. She bites and barks and growls, she's very disruptive and frightening and hard to be around. (Ashley says: Cocoa hates men, children, and people of color, therefore it's not her fault if Cocoa tries to bite/barks/etc) Ashley got Cocoa when she was just a pup from her friend who has 8 dogs who are all not fixed. These people will have a new litter of pups quite often and decided to give Ashley one for free...

Let me tell you now that I very strongly discourage and disrespect BYB, as I'm sure a majority of you do. I have voiced my opinion that it is a sick practice and is bad for all dogs involved.

Ashley says she agrees but then she breeds Cocoa to her mom's shih tzu. Not once, but twice. The entire time Cocoa was pregnant, all she could talk about was the money she would be getting for the puppies. When they were born, they had a number of problems. She had to get rid of them ASAP because she couldnt/wouldn't pay to get them looked at.

The second time Cocoa was pregnant, she was pregnant with 9 puppies... too much for a little dog. They had to abort the puppies and get the dog fixed. She was really "upset" ...

In May of last year, I adopted a dog myself. My dog was 2 years old, she came from the pound, they found her on the streets. I took her home, fed her and loved her, exercised her and she is now a part of the family. Ashley makes comments all the time about how "needy" my dog is (she will follow you around) and how much it "pisses her off"...BUT my dog does not BARK, she does not bite, she does not growl (unless of course she senses danger which has been rare)...

When I was looking for a dog, she kept saying "You should get a puppy. Cocoa (who was preg at the time) will be having puppies soon, I'll give you a discount." To which I told her a million times, I don't believe in that.

A pet store opened up around here recently that sells puppies. They keep them locked up in tiny cages with another dog until someone takes them home (for 800-1500 dollars). Everytime we go there to look at anything, she always picks out a puppy and says that when she has the money she's going to buy it. She also has an awful habit of going on craigslist and adopting peoples' dogs/cats/rodents/etc. She lives with her parents and they don't support this so she ends up having to find new homes for the dogs that she takes. Ashley has continued to do this REGARDLESS of the fact she KNOWS her parents will not let her keep the dogs/cats/rodents.. ETC

I really don't want her to get/keep another animal because she doesn't hardly pay attention to the one she has. She complains about Cocoa all the time... well, whose fault is that? She says that her doctor wants her to get a service dog because of this reason or that reason (doesn't seem viable to me). She has another friend who lives out of town who has a service dog because she is heavily obese. (I don't know if this is a good reason to have a service pet or not... but) this girl has "trained her own service dog" and the dog is apparently awful. Ashley says she will train her own service dog as well, but "not like that god awful dog". Yet this dog seems to act just like Cocoa!!?!?!? (I wonder if they "train their own service dogs" because their reasons for having one are not enough reason to have one)

Aside from getting a service dog, she wants to get a show dog. I don't really understand the world of dog showing, so please don't be offended, but I personally would not ever pay a large amount of money for a dog when another is in a shelter on death row. Not only that, but why would I pay someone big $$$$ to breed their dog!?! Ashley's sister in law has 2 show dogs and she just bred them, and that makes me pretty angry. The only reason they've done it is... surprise... for the MONEY!

I just can't stand aside and watch my friend do this to herself and to these poor innocent dogs. I love dogs just as much as she does, but I show it in a completely different way. I've got my one little baby, (who is laying on the floor beneath me waiting to go to bed!!) who is well fed, exercised and of course, LOVED. I believe we gave this poor dog a second chance.

Ashley makes being a dog owner look like a business opportunity...not only that, but I'm afraid that when she gets her own place, she'll be one of those people who hoarde animals and can't take care of them.



SORRY for the long rant!!!!! I just can't keep it in any longer!!
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Last edited by .nanama; March 16th, 2010 at 02:48 AM.
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Old March 16th, 2010, 09:17 AM
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Golden Girls Golden Girls is offline
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Sorry to hear of this frustration Personally I'd chose peace of mind over this friendship
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Old March 16th, 2010, 10:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Golden Girls View Post
Sorry to hear of this frustration Personally I'd chose peace of mind over this friendship
As would I.
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Old March 16th, 2010, 11:01 AM
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Melinda Melinda is offline
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ditto to what they said, you just can't talk sense into some people
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Old March 16th, 2010, 11:04 AM
3iggys 3iggys is offline
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Friends like that only bring you down to their level. You don't need people with such negativity around you. Trying to make through each day is hard enough and having an "anchor" like that around makes it more difficult.
Since I came home with my 2 rescues I have a few friends that don't come for coffee or even call. They don't agree with rescuing older dogs - just put them down if nobody wants them. I'm not sorry to loose them.
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Old March 16th, 2010, 12:52 PM
.unknown. .unknown. is offline
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This girl sounds like the beginnings of an animal hoarder.As sad as it is, its probably a godsend that these animals go to different homes.

I would do what everyone else has said, cut those ties! If you really feel strongly about her out of control dog buying/adopting habits, maybe go on the offensive. Make a post on craigslist about her, warning others about her habits. It's really heartbreaking to me to think that she is taking advantage of these situations and doing it almost pathologically.

ugh. people like that make me sick.
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Old March 16th, 2010, 01:15 PM
BenMax BenMax is offline
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If trying to educate her is not working..then nothing will.

I feel for you and all I have to say is don't fall victim to her critism about your own dog. Sounds like you are doing great!

Cutting ties would probably give you some peace as it sounds that she is bringing you down. Just don't fall for her silly remarks. Try to shrug it off and continue being the great person you are.
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Old March 16th, 2010, 01:46 PM
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LavenderRott LavenderRott is offline
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Bwahahaha!!

Wait until your "friend" finds out how much WORK a show dog is!!!

You can't just sit on your *ss and do nothing until it is time to walk into the ring. There is plenty of training involved and even more expense. If you are lucky, the dog will show for you and you won't have to pay a handler.

Yes. I did pay big bucks for a well bred dog that should do nicely in the breed ring. I have rescued dogs for 20+ years and wanted just one dog with the kind of genetic testing done to hedge my bets (so to speak) that this one dog would be healthy and live to a ripe old age. Whether he does well in the breed ring or not is really neither here nor there. That isn't why I got him.
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Old March 16th, 2010, 02:09 PM
BenMax BenMax is offline
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Originally Posted by LavenderRott View Post
Bwahahaha!!

Wait until your "friend" finds out how much WORK a show dog is!!!

You can't just sit on your *ss and do nothing until it is time to walk into the ring. There is plenty of training involved and even more expense. If you are lucky, the dog will show for you and you won't have to pay a handler.

Yes. I did pay big bucks for a well bred dog that should do nicely in the breed ring. I have rescued dogs for 20+ years and wanted just one dog with the kind of genetic testing done to hedge my bets (so to speak) that this one dog would be healthy and live to a ripe old age. Whether he does well in the breed ring or not is really neither here nor there. That isn't why I got him.
So true...and how about training a service dog??? Now there is one heck of a challenge..
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Old March 19th, 2010, 06:29 PM
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kungfuMao kungfuMao is offline
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As you describe her actions, it does not seem like she actually likes dogs. It doesn't seem like she shows love "in a completely different way" than you. By her actions, it seems like she "care about/likes/wants" dogs for their $ profiting aspects. She does not even recognize signs of a healthy, happy, well-socialized dog. These are not characteristics of someone who truly loves animals.

Your actions on the other hand, definitely reveals true love for dogs. Keep up your expectations and standards. Warn others online about Ashley's poor behaviors.

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