What do parents teach their kids?!?!

[coppperbelle]

Pags

I understand completely what you are saying. I guess my problem comes from the fact that in this day and age parents allow their children to go up to the front door of a complete strangers house and have not warned them about doing this.
Many years ago I babysat a friends child who was 3 years old for a few months. At the time I had two dogs and her son was terrified of dogs, all animals actually. She was a little apprehensive about the dogs in the home but I assured her everything would be fine. I taught her son to be in charge. When the dogs approached him and if he was uncomfortable he told them to go to their beds, which they did. I gave him dog treats everyday and he made the dogs sit and give paw for the treat. It took a few weeks but he lost his fear and to his parents astonishment actually wanted to feed the animals in the mall at Easter. Your daughter cracks me up and is doing the right thing. The dog will learn to respect her more than your sons even though they are older. Why don't you get your son to feed the dog?
By the way my sister in law was foot tapping yesterday too. She gave me a call this morning, she had just given birth to my new niece.

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

=Angeleyes1437

Thats why I get mad when I hear people say "I got the ____ for my kid and he/she never cleans up after it or takes care of it!". Obviously they aren't raising them to be responsible pet owners because my parents never had to ask me to clean out my small animal tanks, pick up after my dogs, fill up their water, feed them etc. I just did it... I knew. Only thing I needed help with was my 100 gallon fish tank... lol, it was taller than me.

I know that my kids won't be responsible for our dog as they are too young to take on that responsibility and I don't think it would be fair to them or the dog. I will however involve them as much as I can and as they are willing, and gradually give them more responsibility as they get older. But in the end the dog will be our responsibility.

[Angeleyes1437]

Originally Posted by researchbulls

I know that my kids won't be responsible for our dog as they are too young to take on that responsibility and I don't think it would be fair to them or the dog. I will however involve them as much as I can and as they are willing, and gradually give them more responsibility as they get older. But in the end the dog will be our responsibility.

Oh age definitely makes a big difference! I mean, I hate it when parents complain about that and want to get rid of the pet. It is all of their responsibilities. I learned to take care of my pets from my parents, then MY pets became just my responsibility- and the family pets were everyones.

[Prin]

Pags, you might not be able to desensitize kids easily, but to me, it should be easier to "sensitize" them, no? Back in the old days, which is pretty recently for a lot of people on the board , our moms and dads used to say, "Don't talk to strangers. You'll get kidnapped, tortured and murdered, and I might miss you." Nowadays, parents say, "Don't talk to strangers-- they might not be nice people." I think the old version got the message across clearer.

[pags]

Originally Posted by Prin

Pags, you might not be able to desensitize kids easily, but to me, it should be easier to "sensitize" them, no? Back in the old days, which is pretty recently for a lot of people on the board , our moms and dads used to say, "Don't talk to strangers. You'll get kidnapped, tortured and murdered, and I might miss you." Nowadays, parents say, "Don't talk to strangers-- they might not be nice people." I think the old version got the message across clearer.

ROFL Prin!!!! This is SO true!!!

[kandy]

My son was always taught not to go with strangers, not to talk to strangers, etc. One day I was visiting a friend of mine and had told my son to walk home with her daughter. Apparently a neighbor of my friend's had decided to pick up her own kids at school and offered my son and my friend's daughter a ride. My son refused to get in the car because he didn't know the woman (and neither did I). The woman had the balls to come into my friend's house and tell me that I should punish my son for not listening to an adult. Well, I"m sure that she never pulled that speech on anyone after that as I proceeded to rip her up one side and down the other - I was so mad that I wanted to spit! My son walked to my friend's house by himself (about 2 blocks) and I praised him to no end for refusing to go with the woman even though she insisted that I would want him to. And this was back in the day when we told kids that people would mutilate, torture and murder them if they talked to strangers.

[Angeleyes1437]

Originally Posted by kandy

My son was always taught not to go with strangers, not to talk to strangers, etc. One day I was visiting a friend of mine and had told my son to walk home with her daughter. Apparently a neighbor of my friend's had decided to pick up her own kids at school and offered my son and my friend's daughter a ride. My son refused to get in the car because he didn't know the woman (and neither did I). The woman had the balls to come into my friend's house and tell me that I should punish my son for not listening to an adult. Well, I"m sure that she never pulled that speech on anyone after that as I proceeded to rip her up one side and down the other - I was so mad that I wanted to spit! My son walked to my friend's house by himself (about 2 blocks) and I praised him to no end for refusing to go with the woman even though she insisted that I would want him to. And this was back in the day when we told kids that people would mutilate, torture and murder them if they talked to strangers.

I think your son was very smart. When we were kids I never really had a problem, so parents started letting us walk home from school in about 4th or 5th grade. I lived around the corner. My friend and I were leaving school and a man came up to us saying our parents sent him to pick us up. So my friend was like "really?" and I was like "who's parents me or her?" and he looked at me and was like yours... so I was like "me?" and he said "yeah, Christina". Surprised he knew my name, I figured it was real. I was still unsure so I said "What is the code word?" and he said "Bike". Meanwhile I didn't even remember a code word because my parents made one when I was even younger- they had no reason to have my picked up from school! Especially from someone I didn't know! However I knew when did have a code word it wasn't bike. So I asked my parents names and he guessed something so off... needless to say we RAN screaming all of the way home!

And no, my parents didn't send anyone to pick us up. He was probably listening to us talking to get one of our names. It's a dangerous world, especially for kids, I don't know how parents do it!

[pags]

Originally Posted by coppperbelle

She gave me a call this morning, she had just given birth to my new niece.

Congratulations on the addition to the family!!!!!

[kandy]

I agree that my son was very smart that day and I made sure he knew it too! Our crime rate here is really low but little kids are still at risk. Our town is right off a main interstate and any pervert could stop in town for 5 minutes, pick up a kid and be gone before anyone knew anything. I think sometimes that parents here get complacent because we do have such a low crime rate. I always worry when I see little kids riding bikes or whatever with no adult in sight, although I can't remember a child ever being kidnapped here. I do remember a child whose stepmom murdered her about 30 years ago and a man who threw his wife and toddler son off a cliff at the lake about 20 years ago.

[Prin]

Wow, Kandy, you should still be praising that little (big) guy. That's awesome.

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

Kandy,
I also agree that your son was very smart and that woman deserved what you gave her! We live in a town of 35,000. Some people think that living in a smaller town your safe. A 9 year old girl was almost abducted from the grocery store near our house. The dad left her in the car and a stranger convinced her to unlock the car. The dad came out just in time and the guy took off. I dont think they found him either.

I always worry when I see little kids riding bikes or whatever with no adult in sight, although I can't remember a child ever being kidnapped here

I don't remember a kidnapping in our town either. But there was one in Rutland probably more than five years ago. If anyone remembers the Mindy Tran story she was abducted and the ending was tragic.

Also Michael Dunahee in Victoria kidnapped a few feet from his parents and never found.

I don't believe any town is completley safe. Sad but as parents we must protect our kids.

That should also include kids walking strangers dogs. I think the parents should at least know each other and the child should be old enough and physically strong enough to control the dog.

[Prin]

Originally Posted by researchbulls

That should also include kids walking strangers dogs. I think the parents should at least know each other and the child should be old enough and physically strong enough to control the dog.

And if the kid doesn't even know the basics of how to approach a strange dog, FORGET IT!! How can they walk an 100lb dog when they don't even know how to walk NEAR it?

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

Sorry to seem uneducated but how exactly does a child approach a strange dog. I tell my kids not to pet any strange dog and to ask the owner before petting any dog. Which they do, and if they see a dog off its lead or with no owner they aren't allowed to approach it. They say "mom I can't pet that dog because I don't know it right".

[Prin]

Originally Posted by researchbulls

Sorry to seem uneducated but how exactly does a child approach a strange dog. I tell my kids not to pet any strange dog and to ask the owner before petting any dog. Which they do, and if they see a dog off its lead or with no owner they aren't allowed to approach it. They say "mom I can't pet that dog because I don't know it right".

Exactly. That is how. And if they are allowed to touch a dog, they have to do it palm up, under the chin of the doggy, which is a submissive approach. Never palm down on top of the head- that is a dominant approach.

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

originally posted by Prin

they have to do it palm up, under the chin of the doggy, which is a submissive approach.

thanks I was somewhat familar with the palm up approach, but wasn't all that familar with petting under the chin. I will practice this myself and teach it to my kids as well.

[Prin]

One down, fifty kajillion to go.

[pamha]

Originally Posted by researchbulls

Sorry to seem uneducated but how exactly does a child approach a strange dog. I tell my kids not to pet any strange dog and to ask the owner before petting any dog. Which they do, and if they see a dog off its lead or with no owner they aren't allowed to approach it. They say "mom I can't pet that dog because I don't know it right".

Oh yeah, my kids have this drilled into them as well. My daughter is a big-time animal lover and she`s been taught to ask before petting since the time she could talk. I also reenforce this with any kids that approach our dogs, reminding them to always ask before petting someone`s pet. When kids ask first I always compliment them for asking.

As for dumb things kids do, when I was 8/9 we couldn`t have a pet. My friend and I used to ride through all the alleys in our neighborhood and make friends with the dogs in backyards. We gave them all names (we didn`t know any of the people) and brought them treats, usually stuff like heels of bread- I sure hope we didn`t make any of them ill. At that age we didn`t even think of it and it wasn`t something my parents would`ve thought to warn us against.

[sile is sheila]

I always ask AND have my kids ask too! Not only do we not know "that cute dog over there," but the dog does not know us either... After we get approval from the dog owner, I have shown my children to use the palm-up approach prior to petting any dog. I find that the kids end up loving the "tickles" that they get from "doggy kisses" and everybody is happy in the end. I was grateful to have been taught by an honest and willing dog owner/walker. His time was extremely valuable and I have shown many children at parks the same treatment – most parents are dumbfounded but readily want to learn so they can protect their children from any type of accident.

Here is a different example: once my kids and I were thrilled to see a Jack Russell being walked on our side of the street. We did the proper thing and asked the owner if we could approach the dog... "She" said that "she" didn't like kids and didn't want to. The dog, on the other hand, seemed "thrilled" to have little kids to devote attention to him/her... She yanked on the leash/collar abruptly to the point the dog yelped. At that point, I wondered what the purpose in her life was... My kids were hurt at the rejection and the dog was probably bruised from the sharp yank.

In retrospect, I have noticed a lot of posts on this site that "condemns" those individuals who have children, their parenting skills questionable. Keep in mind folks that, just like there are bad dog owners / good dog owners, there are bad parents / good parents. There are always two types/groups of people everywhere you go – it's a fact of life...

Forum users, stay positive and refrain from pointing fingers. Instead, take the time to teach those who share the same space so that we can all evolve into better beings.

Sheila