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Old April 5th, 2008, 09:54 AM
Bev832 Bev832 is offline
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What to do with a mean cat

Hello everyone! Hope you can help.
I joined today because of "Sassy". She's my Granny's cat, and in the past month, she and Granny have moved into my parent's home as Granny is dying quickly. This has never been an affectionate cat, nor a calm one. She is isolated at the moment in one room as there are a dog and cat in the home already.
Granny wants to have Sassy put down because she bites and attacks people, pretty much anytime someone comes near. At this point, Granny would not heal if she bit her. She had started to accept my Mom but has bitten her twice now.
I have an old cat who isn't going to last too many more months, and a year old puppy. We have no kids to worry about. I am more than willing to take this cat in, if there is any hope of rehab. Granny is insistent that she not become a problem.
Can you take a cat who has never been nice and create a tolerable situation? I have always had a cat, but never one with issues. Those have always been reserved for the dogs.
I would appreciate any words of wisdom, this is a really stressful situation all around, and we probably aren't thinking objectively. Thanks in advance,
Bev
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Old April 5th, 2008, 10:11 AM
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jealma jealma is offline
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dang , wish I could give you some hope, but it's from my experience a cat is pretty much the way they are. Not like a dog that you can train out of bad habits. Dogs want to please,, cat's are independant. I love cats and dogs, but I can't see fixing the cats problems. I"m sure someone will say time, love patience.. ect ect... but I fear what you see is what you get with a cat.... Good luck, and I really hope I"m wrong,, but that is the truth as I see it
Sorry,, and yeah, I expect to be told how wrong I am :-)
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Old April 5th, 2008, 10:26 AM
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Wow, you really have your hands full. I think you have to reassure your grandmother that you will do everything you can to give her kitty a good life after she passes, even though she has a difficult character. And I think you have to tell her that if it becomes impossible, you will consider euthanasia, but that you'd like to see how things work out before making that decision. Who knows, maybe she'd benefit from a little medication. Could there be anything physically wrong? Meanwhile, leave the cat where she is, preferably in a room where there is some human traffic.

Lifelong biters are probably not going to stop biting completely, but if the habit is recent - due to various upheavals - the prognosis would be better. I have a biter, but she is a complete delight in all other ways, so it is easy to overlook. Not everybody is willing to live with a cat that is not open to any contact.

On the face of it, euthanasia may look like a no-brainer. Only your parents can decide if they are up to the alternative. But Granny is the one who must be reassured, first and foremost. My heart goes out to you. Whatever your decision, there is no blame, all lives are precious but all situations cannot be resolved.
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Old April 5th, 2008, 11:24 AM
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NoahGrey NoahGrey is offline
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You never know, the cat may come around with you.

I think alot has to do with how each person precieves the cat. If the person is scared or showing signs that it is fearful of the cat, the cat will react hasty towards that person. Cats can sense everything.

There has to be a reason why this cat is hissing and biting people and my conclusion is fear. For whatever reason, it does not trust humans. Also want to add, that the cat bring in a new environment, new smells, etc can trigger a cat to become aggressive. It does not know what is going on, and therefore is trying to protect itself. It's scared.

Maybe when you take it in, just let it be for abit. Let it get used to it's surroundings first. I would start slow. I would also talk to it alot. Cats love to be talked too.

if the cat comes to you and wants to be petted, start slow...just give a little rub.

My cat is insane and afraid of everything. One min she loves getting snuggles, then the next she wants to eat my hand. What I do is what I call "we leave snuggles on a good note". What I mean is, I pet her, till she is purring and content. I don't want her to pet her till she becomes angry and doesn't want to be petted anymore. By doing this, I am showing her that snuggles is a good thing. If I pet her until she is attacking my hand, it leaves her with snuggles is a bad thing. Does that make anysense?

Overall I would not give up on the cat. I think she is afraid of whatever, jsut have to give her reasurrance. It will take awhile...just be patieant.

ACO22
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Old April 5th, 2008, 11:32 AM
Bev832 Bev832 is offline
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In terms of her history, I know she was picked on by all the other cats when she was small out on the farm. She was cool to Granny when she first arrived but has warmed up over the years (6 or 7 as far as we can remember) to the point where she can handle the cat, she will come sleep in her bed, cuddle with her. She initially allowed my Mom to pick her up and put her in another room (when dogs were coming to the house) or into her crate (to take her to Granny) and seemed ok with that. It was after they arrived here and she was in the new environment that the real problems started.

I think we've almost decided to try her here. If Granny insists on euthanasia, we will tell her its been done. But all of us just feel so strongly that she deserves a chance. We would love to respect her wishes, but honestly, she's not going to be around to have any say in the matter and it just feels wrong. My husband has this magic touch with animals; they will respond to him like no one else. It's a bit freaky and I do get jealous of it!

It almost feels as though we have to start over with her, as though she were a recently captured feral cat. Perhaps that is where I need to look for information. It would be hard to live with a cat that wanted no human contact, because I love interacting with cats.

Thanks to you both for your input. I really appreciate it!!

Bev
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Old April 5th, 2008, 11:45 AM
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NoahGrey NoahGrey is offline
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Keep us posted


ACO22
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  #7  
Old April 5th, 2008, 11:50 AM
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A lot of people on here swear by Feliway. I myself have never used it but I have heard many others say they can't do without it.
Here is a site to tell you about it. I think you can get it just about in any pet store??? There is also another product which escapes me at this moment. I am sure someone else will come along soon to tell you about it too.
Personally, I don't think any cat is a lost cause. But then I am a little
The best of luck to you and hugs for your grandmother.


http://www.feliway.uk.com/feliway_uk.nsf/Page?OpenForm
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Old April 5th, 2008, 12:37 PM
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jealma jealma is offline
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Here I go,, being negative ,, again,,, Was I the only one who read sentence number 4? It sounds to me like this is not just a change in atmosphere or people around her. so why does it sound like everyone is chucking this up to a change in address?
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Old April 5th, 2008, 12:38 PM
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jealma jealma is offline
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sorry I sound so bad, and I don't want to see the cat put down either,, but I don't want to pretend this cat is going to have a magic change of heart and become a loving pet,, out of the blue
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Old April 5th, 2008, 12:48 PM
Bev832 Bev832 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jealma View Post
Here I go,, being negative ,, again,,, Was I the only one who read sentence number 4? It sounds to me like this is not just a change in atmosphere or people around her. so why does it sound like everyone is chucking this up to a change in address?
I'm not ignoring it, and I'm sorry to make you feel not heard. I'm repeating what my Dad said about her, but I have to remind myself he isn't a cat person. She's never been aggressive before now. She just hasn't been one of those cats who comes to greet people in the house or sit on someone else's lap. She hasn't shown that she wants a lot of interaction with people, and I can't ask Granny about how she was anymore because she's pretty much past conversation now.

What a great group you are - to share so much with a new member makes me feel really welcome.

Bev
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Old April 6th, 2008, 08:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 14+kitties View Post
A lot of people on here swear by Feliway. I myself have never used it but I have heard many others say they can't do without it.
Here is a site to tell you about it. I think you can get it just about in any pet store??? There is also another product which escapes me at this moment. I am sure someone else will come along soon to tell you about it too.
Personally, I don't think any cat is a lost cause. But then I am a little
The best of luck to you and hugs for your grandmother.


http://www.feliway.uk.com/feliway_uk.nsf/Page?OpenForm
I guess I should clarify my answer. I think it's a great idea for you to "rescue" this kitty. Once he is in your home try using the Feliway or Rescue Remedy as an agent to help calm him. It is supposed to work wonderfully. Again - good luck!
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We can stick our heads in the sand for only so long before it starts choking us. Face it folks. The pet population is bad ALL OVER THE WORLD!
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Old April 8th, 2008, 08:31 AM
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Love4himies Love4himies is offline
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Any updates, how is your grandmother doing?
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Rose semi feral, a cpietra rescue, female tabby (approx 13 yrs)

Jasper RIP (2001-2018)
Sweet Pea RIP (2004?-2014)
Puddles RIP (1996-2014)
Snowball RIP (1991-2005)

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.-English Proverb

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Old June 5th, 2008, 10:11 AM
Bev832 Bev832 is offline
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A June Update

Well, Sassy has been here almost a month now and we've made great progress on some fronts and have new challenges, too!

Sassy and MY cat, Jessie, don't really bother with each other at all. Where I am having problems is, Sassy chases my 14 mo. old spaniel!

Meira and Jessie "play" but since they started when Meira was the size of a small plush toy, its fairly harmless and not very aggressive. Jessie can stop it when she wants. Sassy has no sense of play.

She will block Meira in hallways, keep her from going in or out the door (depending on which size we are all on), chases her into her kennel and then keeps her in there. Having felt the sting of claws, Meira is probably smart to run. Still. When I catch Sassy being the trouble-maker, I escort her back to her room and put the gate up and she has to stay in there for a while, until she calms down.

I know Sassy wants to be more involved in the daily activities and we keep the gate down 99% of the time so she can come and go as she pleases. But every couple days it seems, she is just growly and wants to be a **** disturber. She comes out in a bad mood and it goes downhill from there.

I've seen some advice that when this happens, you have to back the introduction phase up and isolate the cat completely again, and restart the introduction process. Pecking order at the moment is Jessie on top, Sassy then Meira. Is this just a phase? Is this a form of playing? She isn't easily calmed afterward, she will eat but yowls when being petted. I've never found cats understand the psychology of not rewarding negative behaviour; its pointless to treat a cat the same as a dog or child in my experience.

Am I wrong in that? Is it really the same? Do I have to restrict Sassy or do we just weather the storms until she doesn't feel threatened and doesn't overreact to the dog?

Thanks everyone! Your help has been invaluable so far, we wouldn't be here without you!

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Old June 5th, 2008, 10:25 AM
Jim Hall Jim Hall is offline
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you doiing ok thats the right thing to do out her back and let her calm down

eventually she will get the hint u might try leaving something with meira's scent by her area so she gets used to the smell
a lot of times what sets cats off is the strange smell /.
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Old June 5th, 2008, 12:04 PM
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Love4himies Love4himies is offline
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Hi Bev, so glad you came back for an update.

I have the same problem with a foster momma, Sweet Pea who I ended up adopting, except it is with my Puddles who is a cat that she is moody with,not a dog. I found that I had to cut out carbs from her diet almost completely to keep her in an even mood. I mix Wellness canned (only the grain free varieties) with Ogranics by Nature canned and try to keep her out of the Orijen.

http://www.bynaturepetfoods.com/prod...nnedcat.php#tc

http://www.wellnesspetfood.com/cat_w...an_turkey.html

Good luck and keep us updated! Would love some pictures too!
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Rose semi feral, a cpietra rescue, female tabby (approx 13 yrs)

Jasper RIP (2001-2018)
Sweet Pea RIP (2004?-2014)
Puddles RIP (1996-2014)
Snowball RIP (1991-2005)

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.-English Proverb

“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.” Stephen R. Covey
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Old June 5th, 2008, 12:05 PM
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Love4himies Love4himies is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Hall View Post
eventually she will get the hint u might try leaving something with meira's scent by her area so she gets used to the smell
a lot of times what sets cats off is the strange smell /.
Oh you are so right with that one, Jim. I would brush Sweet Pea with Puddles' brush (they hate each other) and Sweet Pea would get all fluffed and attack the brush!
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Cat maid to:


Rose semi feral, a cpietra rescue, female tabby (approx 13 yrs)

Jasper RIP (2001-2018)
Sweet Pea RIP (2004?-2014)
Puddles RIP (1996-2014)
Snowball RIP (1991-2005)

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.-English Proverb

“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.” Stephen R. Covey
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Old June 5th, 2008, 12:33 PM
Bev832 Bev832 is offline
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Originally Posted by Love4himies View Post
Oh you are so right with that one, Jim. I would brush Sweet Pea with Puddles' brush (they hate each other) and Sweet Pea would get all fluffed and attack the brush!
We do this already. Everyone gets brushed with the same brush so everyone smells like everyone else. Sassy never was brushed and finds it intolerable, Jessie absolutely loves it and Meira lets me but pouts the entire time.

Now, Meira does have boundary issues and will sneak into Sassy's room every chance she gets. (Why can't I have a gate that lets Sassy out and keeps Meira out?!) I know she's stolen food before I moved it up, and she destroyed a toy that was never played with. Sassy sleeps under the sheets most of the time and Meira has bounced up onto the bed, unaware of the fact Sassy was there. It was a surprise for everyone... So it isn't like the dog hasn't given her cause to be cranky. I don't tolerate anyone being aggressive or nasty so whether its a cat or the dog (or my sisters-in-laws ) you get sent to your space for time out (or booted out into the rain). Sassy actually tries to attack me instead of allowing herself to be herded nicely or running away from the loud voice and stomping feet. I'm starting to think this is just the cat I have and that any change will be a bonus.

But she does follow me around, and she comes out to get me when she wants cuddles or treats or her box done. She is showing tremendous progress. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that she might keep making these kinds of changes. And no one can give me that.
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Old June 5th, 2008, 12:38 PM
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Since Sweet Pea is the aggressor we keep a harness and a rope dangling from it to grab Sweet Pea before she attacks Puddles, and it is off to Time Out in the bedroom. We also clap out hands loudly if we notice Sweet Pea is getting set to attack and that seems to snap her out of her trance and she backs off, if not, it is time out for her. Sometimes when we smack out hands, she runs into the bedroom by herself.

Sweet Pea is not all guilty either, Puddles hisses and growls up a storm at Sweet Pea getting Sweet Pea all rowled up, but would never attack. Sweet Pea attacks.

I really found the change in food really helped decrease the attacks and smooth out her moods.
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Cat maid to:


Rose semi feral, a cpietra rescue, female tabby (approx 13 yrs)

Jasper RIP (2001-2018)
Sweet Pea RIP (2004?-2014)
Puddles RIP (1996-2014)
Snowball RIP (1991-2005)

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.-English Proverb

“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.” Stephen R. Covey
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Old June 5th, 2008, 12:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bev832 View Post
(Why can't I have a gate that lets Sassy out and keeps Meira out?!)
If you look on either the Petco or Pet Supermarket website they have gates that have a little door that will keep a dog out of a certain area, yet it has a little door that allows the cat to go through.
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Old September 23rd, 2008, 03:28 PM
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cat's point of view

I am very sorry to hear about your grandmother's illness.
As far as the cat goes, animals know when something isn't right. Even though the cat has not been an affectionate cat, she has still been a companion to your granny and your granny to her. She can sense that something is wrong with granny and on top of that she has moved into a house that is not familiar to her. When you add all the stresses to the cat (I am not saying you are not stressed also) but when you add all the stresses to the cat, the cat don't understand. Maybe if you put some sort of item (a sock, a wash cloth that granny has held or something) that smells like granny maybe the cat will calm. When I am away on business trips, my husband puts one of my non-laundry socks where my cat sleeps and he seems to be less restless and agitated while I am away. Maybe mom could put on granny's socks and let the cat get use to mom's smell and away from granny's smell.
Again, I am very sorry about your granny.
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Old September 23rd, 2008, 05:17 PM
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grissom - this post is from back in April. A lot has changed for the original poster. Her grandmother passed on :sad: and Sassy had settled fairly well into the household. The latest problem was with the pup but even then the last post was in July.
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We can stick our heads in the sand for only so long before it starts choking us. Face it folks. The pet population is bad ALL OVER THE WORLD!
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