Car Pool Dilemma. What would you do?

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

I have a car pool dilemma. I originally started car pooling to work everyday with this women. We would each alternate one week of driving. Recently her sister started working at the same place. She doesn't have a car right now so she is riding with us.

Well the one sister, that I originally started car pooling with is for some reason mad at the other sister and hasn't spoken to her for about 3 days/nor has she spoken to me ( I asked her if it was me she was mad at, and she said no she was mad at her sister, but wasn't going to talk to her about it, and the other sister wont talk to her either.

So the drive to and from work is unbearable because this women is not speaking one word, and just has a blank stare on her face the whole way. Personally I think she is being really rude and it is really started to frustrate me, now I feel like I want to scream at her. I am at the point where I want to just tell them to work it out and I will just drive by myself and pay the full cost for my own cost.

My husband told me just to turn the radio up because gas was to expensive. Which I did yesterday I turned it up as far as it would go. Right now this is the only reason why I am car pooling with these people.

Which is more important my sanity or the price of gas?

[StaceyB]

How much in cash do you save by doing this?

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

I estimate my gas costs about 320 bucks a months so I save about half that a month which is 160.00.

[twinmommy]

160 bucks is nothing to sneeze at, IMO. How long is the drive? Can you yap on your cell? (In heavy traffic let's say) Afew drives with you on the phone and ignoring them might take the "punch" out of their obvious rudeness and stupidity.

God!! Poor you!! People ar eso rude!! and you're the driver!!! Sheesh!!

good luck!

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

The drive is an agonising 45 minutes each way, I can't really yap on my cell on the way their as it is at 6am and I don't know anyone up at that hour.

Part of the problem is I have to talk to unhappy people for 8 hours straight everyday and have to deal with this women too.

[twinmommy]

well...6 am in b.c. is 9 a.m. in Montreal!!!

Get one of those free long distance cell plans and I'll yap with ya!!!!

[twinmommy]

As an afterthought, you do customer service as a living... "talking with miserable people" you say, so I'll assume it's CS.

I'm sure you can handle these two!!

Let them know how much of a drag they're making the trip!!

[Puppyluv]

As I was reading your first post, I was thinking "turn up the radio" but your husband beat me to it.
Bring book tapes! (I love them and carry one with me everywhere)

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

here is what I could maybe do.

-play Barney tapes in the car
-play bible tapes in the car
-spill milk in the car and forget to clean it and leave it in the sun.
-stop on the way home to run errands and leave them in the car for two hours
-pick my nose
-leave the passanger window open and tell her it is stuck like that.
-talk about how incredibly happy I am and how I just want to chat the whole way
-make them wear their seatbelts
-Drive straight home at let them walk the 5k home to work things out.

[twinmommy]

LMAO!!!

Atta girl!!!

I like the 5 k walk one !!! And the errands!!!

do it do it do it !!!

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

Well I just got some possible good news.

My husband just called from the pub where he is the bar manager. Before this job I worked for an investment firm in town. Unfortunatley it didnt work out and I was let go ( I will spare the details). One of the advisors that also worked there went to another firm just before I left. Came into the the pub and was talking to my husband and was asking about me. My husband told him that it did not work out at my old job. He asked my husband if I would be interested in working for him in town. If it worked out it would be so much better. I wouldnt have to worry about car pooling with miserable people. I know this guy and he is easygoing like me so I really think it could work out. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Also winter is coming and I am dreading driving that highway everyday and risking an accident not to mention the money I am paying in gas to get there.

[JaydeDoggie]

Bit confused by the "-make them wear their seatbelts"
I don't care if they are grown women, they'd be wearing their seatblets regardless. My car does not move unless all seat belts are fastened!

[jiorji]

how long is the ride??
Take no offense but I assume you're one of those women who absolutely cannot keep quiet. Or perhaps you feel uncomfortable about the silence and the fight?? well all i can say is that
a) you shouldn't feel guilty for their fight and shouldn't feel obligated to start up a conversation to get them talking. it's their fight, let them solve it.
b)continuing with A, I don't think that not talking to each other is very nice or a good way to handle this issue, especially since you're stuck in the middle.Do you know why they're giving each other the silent treatment?? maybe you should explain the way you feel.

can the car accomodate another person?that way soemone else could join the group and you can talk to her/him.

lastly...i think carpooling is healthy for the environment. More ppl should do it.

good luck! I hope they start talking to each other.

[Prin]

Originally Posted by JaydeDoggie

Bit confused by the "-make them wear their seatbelts"
I don't care if they are grown women, they'd be wearing their seatblets regardless. My car does not move unless all seat belts are fastened!

I do that too. Sometimes, if we're in a deserted place, I drive a foot and then slam on the brakes over and over till they get the hint. I tell people "I can't drive safely when my passengers don't wear seatbelts. It's a huge distraction for me."

A lady I lived with for a bit in Ireland had her rosary prayers on tape. It was about an hour of latin mumbling... I should ask her to make me a copy for you...

If it was me... "If you two twits don't cut this out, I'm going to turn this car RIGHT AROUND and go home. I'm fed up with this CRAP." Heh heh heh. I use that speech on my doggies... If only they understood. :sad:

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

I have mentioned the seatbelt thing to them, they just say dont worry I'll pay the fine. I hope we get pulled over and they have to pay it. My front seats have automatic seat belts so the shoulder strap is always on I make sure this is always hooked up. Anyways maybe if this other job works out I won't have to deal with them.

Also I am a chatty but not excessively and yes days on end of silence does get on my nerves. If it is still continuing today I will tell them how I feel and I will make them wear their Gosh darn seatbelts!

Have a greatday everyone!

[Prin]

I thought in Qc the DRIVER gets 2 demerit points too... Are they going to pay for those too when your license renewal comes up?

[shannonRN]

In this situation, I think I would bring it up in the presence of both of them. Just a simple blunt question, such as, "I don't mean to pry, but are you two ever going to work this out, or do all three of us need to be miserable?"

If that doesn't get the point across, I would dig up my ABBA greatest hits album and sing at the top of my lungs until they beg for mercy.

As a last resort--I'd tell them I'm driving myself to work until they work it out. It will put a financial burden on them too and, with some time alone, perhaps they will even talk it over.

[CyberKitten]

I am most concerned about the lack of seat belt use (It's the physician in me I guess). It is your responsibility as the driver to ensure your passengers wear their belts and in Quebec, if they do not and you are stopped by the Surte (no accent on my laptop and I am too lazy to find the char map, lol), is is YOU, not them, who will be hurt the most. YOU will loose two demerit points and pay a $90 fine!!!! So, tell them to buckle up or they do not drive with you. I am like Prin. If anyone gets in my vehicle and fails to buckle up,the vehicle stays put or they get out!!! No ifs ands or buts. Our hospital has a Safety Link campaign.

As for these juvenile like women, I would tell them to grow up!!! Seriously, talk to them. I like some of the ideas- the Latin Roasry sounds keel, lol - but they ARE rather passive aggressive. Can you not simply talk to them about it?

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

This women is rude its not so much her sister, I told them to wear their seatbelts the one sister did, and the other one sat there in silence like I was talking to a brick wall. I feel like I am driving to work with a stubborn 2 year old but it is a 30 something + year old women. I am thinking of tipping of the cops and having them pull them us over so they get hit with the fines.

I dont think about my seatbelt its on automatically as is my kids and my dog.

Bye the way Cyberkitten are you back from NO hope all went well considering the circumstances, thats great of you to go down and help.

[BullLover]

ShannonRN
ABBA is WAYYYYY to harsh.....I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I think I'd go insane from listening to it.

As for the sisters, maybe you should just suggest that you only have room for one, since they hate eachother. When they work things out (hopefully like grown women), then they can both hitch a ride with you.

I'm pretty outspoken, so I'd probably confront both of them at the same time while trapped in a moving vehicle. Then they'd have no chance on escaping eachother. If things get really bad, (like a fist fight in your car) just open the doors and kick them out.

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

Well I am not confrontational person and when I do confront people they freak out because its totally unexpected but I am near my breaking point. The seat belt thing has bothered me since day one. She drove right past a seatbelt check when she was driving and never bothered to put it on unfortunately they were checking people going to other way and missed her.

I am going to google BC and seatbelt laws and see what we come up with.

[StaceyB]

Make both of them sit in the back seat. This way if they are not speaking it is like you are travelling on your own.

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

Bulllover

ABBA is WAYYYYY to harsh.....I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I think I'd go insane from listening to it

I actually like ABBA and I like to play it loud so I can sing at the top of my lungs.

I think I might also play the Grease soundtrack as well.

Making them sit in the very back is a great idea they are two rows behind me and the speakers are really loud back there. They wont be able to talk even if they wanted too.

[Puppyluv]

what about a little Village People? They make everyone happy

[StaceyB]

Spill some water on the front seat and tell them the dog had an accident on it and you didn't have time to clean it. Remember to leave nothing available that they may want to put on it to sit there.

[Prin]

I actually like ABBA and I like to play it loud so I can sing at the top of my lungs.

Ma? Is that you? My mom was an abba freak!

[BullLover]

Originally Posted by Prin

Ma? Is that you? My mom was an abba freak!

Mine too. I think that's why I dislike them so much.

[shannonRN]

My my, I tried to hold you back but you were stronger
Oh yeah, and now it seems my only hope is giving up the fight
And how could I ever refuse
I feel like I win when I lose

Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo - Promise to love you for ever more
Waterloo - Couldn't escape if I wanted to
Waterloo - Knowing my fate is to be with you
Waterloo - Finally facing my Waterloo
ABBA "Waterloo" 1974

Now tell me that wouldn't get them talking again...

Actually, I highly recommend singing loudly on the way to work anyway. Does wonders for my mood and I'm so much more awake and alert when I get there.

[Prin]

You are my dancing queen, doo doo doo, only seventeen, oh yeah... You can dance, you can fly, having the time of your life...ooooo see that girl, watch bla bla, she is the dancing queeeeeeen...

Just sing it loud and without knowing all the words... That'll do the trick, no?

[CyberKitten]

Actually, I am still in La (Boton Rouge) - just got off the phone from talking to my sister in Quebec - forgot the time difference, La is two hours ahead of the Maritimes and one hr ahead of Que. I am sorry , for some reason I thought you were in Quebec, not sure why - too distracted, I apologize!

And Prin, now I will have that Danciung Queen song in my head ALL nite. Wahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

In BC, "MVA 220 (6) Drivers must ensure that passengers who have attained 6 years of age but are under 16 years of age, are properly restrained. "

Same as the Maritimes and yebec, onus is on the driver and the fine is "138.00 Fine - for MVA Infractions (including 15% surcharge viction ). The amount can be reduced by $25 if the ticket is paid within 30 days." But the govt web site is prob better and maybe more up to date.

Loathe as I am to cite anectodal evidence - as a scientist - I have to point out I would not be here typing this (well TRYING to type, lol) if I had NOT had my seat belt on when Bullwinkle the Moose dropped from the sky in front of my vehicle and we ran headfirst into him, killing the giant guy and my car but not me or my passenger!!!!

These women - or one anyway - sound atrocious! Can you find other ppl to carpool with. I carpool with a wonderful dentist - he even does my teeth (me and the kids, lol) and we share the same ideas about seat belt use. I think you should talk to them - you do not need be confrontational. Explain how hard it is for you and ask them to be more reasonable, outline the law and the stats if you have them. And tell them to grow up - at some point, lol