Girl rant....Boys beware!

[Maya]

Originally Posted by Prin

Women's lib would be the MEN pumping themselves with anti-sperm hormones.

Yup, so true.

The only thing liberating about the pill is having some control over our own reproductive system. Wouldn't some men be responsible enough to take a pill if it was safer than the female version? (its not too off topic)

[Prin]

Yeah, they'd never forget- they'd have us nagging them all the time.

[Cathy1]

My sister found this on the internet. It supposed to be an actual letter that was sent to this company.

AN OPEN LETTER TO
MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE


Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years,
and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard
Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or
salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down
the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be
your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company
smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi-pads be
aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month
knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
"the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is
starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal
forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now,
my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes
to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human
body amazing? As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've
no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during
your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo.

Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping
we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and
out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most
women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent
urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill
just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by
drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to
the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted
to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi
pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
"Have a Happy Period."

Are you flipping kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager
brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is
possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound
the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some
kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about
a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and
lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local
Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your
life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap
a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or
"Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that,
effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for
I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I
will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss
your brand of condescending !@#%. And that's a promise I will keep.

[phoenix]

hahahaha!

I've been happily period free since october (pregnant). Not sure which is worse (haha).

When I was younger, I used to pass out EVERY cycle. (once in front of a high school class... my most embarassing moment I think) ...That's why I went on the pill (not as b.c. but to reduce the pain and heaviness). It was an amazing difference for me.

Naproxin (American Aleve) is amazing. I always get people to bring it back over the border for me when they go to the states. It's the only thing that works on the cramps I get. (and they're 100% better than what I used to have).

Luckily I am not one to get mood swings, so I have no help with that!

[jessi76]

LOL - me too! been happily preggo since January. but before that I really liked Natural Progesterone Cream and percocets. The cream is best if you can have it specially made for you at a compounding pharmacy. It's described nicely in the book "what your doctor may NOT tell you about menopause" by Dr. John Lee. it's a great read for anyone who would like to understand hormones a bit better. it actually works to level you out. I was in a great mood more often than not when using the cream regularly.

the perc's... well, that's all I found that worked for my kill-me-now-cramps.

for the techno-ladies... the ipad skit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1BUH9eXy18

[dustybird]

Not to steal the thread or anything but is anyone else complety irregular? I have never had a normal period. I will skip a month or two or it seems like I just finished and it's back. I've been to the docotor and they have never found anything. The pill never helped either. I have also finaly gotten over the oh crap am I preggo everytime I miss one.

Love the letter by the way, I woke up from a nap today to the words "Have A Happy Period", needless to say I shouted some foul words back at the T.V(woke up at 3am to some lovely cramps) and would like to wash the actress who say's those dredded words mouth out with soap.

[LynLyn]

hehe i loved the letter, it was awesome, wish i hd thought of writhing something like that when i actually had a period.

dustybird: if you read the above posts it seems like NOONE here seems to have a regular period. I'm thinking a regular period is something of a myth

[Maya]

Originally Posted by dustybird

Not to steal the thread or anything but is anyone else complety irregular?

Ya I have no idea what is going on. I swell up like three or four bra sizes and i'll be like that for a week thinking any day now but nope twoo three weeks will pass finally i'll get it and it will be really light like what the point was all that for. Now i'll stay swollen like that totally bloated till the next time round and then shed a bunch of water the following month, b/f will comment that I look deflated, different everytime heavy almost not there I never know. will even start then stop for two or three days a week then start again. Apparantly everything is fine scans, blood work etc.

[Mocha's mum]

I used to be really irregular (pain in the butt when you're in the military and have to go to the field...) so that's why I went on the pill. I have no intentions of having kids (of the non-furry kind), and neither does Kris - but they won't "fix" me; too young, no kids, nothing wrong with me, blah blah blah. Doc won't even do Kris I know it's probably unhealthy, but I like the fact that I can manipulate my flow - read previous statement about the military. And that's why I thought the IUD would be great - no periods, no hassles for five years....HA!

At any rate, I started taking Evening Primrose Oil and Vitamin B6 today. I feel more like myself today (I know it's not the vitamins just yet), so I'm hoping this is just the Mirena hormones wearing out of system.

And for the record - I want to beat the person that came up with that stupid "have a happy period" bulls**t. And that's NOT the hormones talking this time!!

[dustybird]

We should start a "we will not have a happy period" campaign(spell). Since we all seem to feel the same way about those stupid commercials.

I almost got an IUD once but my doc couldn't get it in. Later I read up on it and didn't like what some of the side effects could be, was years ago so maybe they are better now.

Don't give up I decided at 21 that I didn't want kids and came up with a nice little speach for my doctor complete with back up remarks to make my case. She talked with me for about an hour and then agreed that I seemed to know what I wanted and after searching for a little while she found a gyno to do the procedure. Met with him, another exam and he finaly agreed to do the tubal occlusion. What I don't understand is that a vasectomy is reversable, so why they won't do that is just stupid and you have to pay for a reversal now so what difference does it make to them. Plus they could have you sign something so you don't sue saying you were miss led to beleave(god can't spell tonight) a tubal would be 100% reversable, it's 50/50 with those ok more like 20/80. If your an adult you should know what you want. Would they rather you had a kid you didn't want and give it a crap life because you resented it or have an abortion. I said if I really felt the need to be a mother to another human being one day and the procedure didn't work I could adopt, foster etc... Besides there are enough teenagers haveing babies for us all.

Most of the gyno's said they wouldn't talk to me about it until I was 25. I will be 32 this summer and have yet to regret my decision(had it done at 21). I don't dislike kids or had a crappy childhood, just not for me. Congrat's btw to those of you that are expecting.

If you do find someone who is willing to discuss it with you they ask some of the dumbest questions.

[papillonmama]

Hey dustybird, this is not so , just a question, did you have any hormonal side effects from the tubal?

I already have three kids, and I want to get one, a tubal, I can't stand all this nonsense with bc, but have wanted to ask someone who actually got it done if they were feeling any worse or better after the procedure.

Never mind the doctors about the visectomy, I've already tried talking my hubby into it, lol, he thought I was nuts, but he's very nervous around doctors, so really I don't blame him... too much. But if we get preggo before the procedure, I will have to blame him

[dustybird]

papillonmama, I have not had any side effects at all that I know of. They don't remove anything so you really shouldn't feel any different. All they do is go in with a scope and put some clips on your tubes so nothing can pass through them, or they cut the tubes and clip or I think cautaurize(sp) the ends. You still have your ovaries so nothing hormonal will change. I think they mostly do the clips now(tubal occlusion), the tissue under the clips die so they say.

It's a day procedure done with a scope(your asleep) and they pump your abdomen with gas so your little tubies float(see/work with them better). With me they went in just below my belly button and just above the pubic bone and you can't tell unless your looking for it. My body doesn't do scars well so they tend to be noticeable and I can hardly see it. I think the worst part for me was getting the anaesthesia and the float gas(whatever its called) out of my system. I'd be awake and then boom asleep again, you do feel a little crampy but I think it only lasted like a day.

I really don't feel any different now then before I had it done....just don't have to worry about babies anymore.

[papillonmama]

Thanks dustybird, that's exactly what I wanted to know.

[Mocha's mum]

dustybird, what did you say to the docs to get them to do the tubal?? Seriously. I'm 27, Kris is 36 and neither of us wants babies. But, no matter what I say or how nicely I ask....the answer is always "no". It's frustrating. I'll sign a waiver or give up an organ or whatever!! Just do it!!!

The way I see it is, I'm an adult, I know what I want. If I change my mind in the future, well, I'll have to suck it up buttercup. Lots of kids (as well as pets) are looking for homes.

[Maya]

Interesting, I didn't know doctors were so reluctant to do this. I think that might be a throwback from when it was done to people without thier consent. Like institutionalized people, "challenged" people etc..and then they of course had to stop doing that. It should always be the individuals right either way. I'm kind of surprised they actually say no. I guess they figure if you are serious enough you'll eventually find someone to do it. And ya its not like we don't have enough unwanted children being born everyday, seems like a pretty responsible choice. I mean if you said I want to get pregnant they don't say NO.

[Frenchy]

Originally Posted by LynLyn

dustybird: if you read the above posts it seems like NOONE here seems to have a regular period. I'm thinking a regular period is something of a myth

I can tell you mine starts on a Wenesday around 1:00 pm. But yes, I'm on the pill and I love it. I don't get any pms pain. And every summer, instead of taking the sugar ones , I just start a new box of pill, ( i like to swim a lot ) as long as you do this , you don't get your period. Been doing this for 4-5 years now. There is not health concern doing this.

[dustybird]

I'm surprised that by 27 they still won't do it. I don't remember exactly what I said but lets see.

-as far as I am concerned haveing kids is a life long commitment and it is not one I am willing to make.

-I don't dislike kids but being a parent is not for me.

-have a hard enough time taking care of myself and can't imagine haveing to take care of someone else every hour of everyday for at least 18yrs.

-the lifestyle I want doesn't leave the kind of room/life/atmosphere that I feel would be good for a child to be raised in(clarify as you don't want them thinking your a drug kingpin or something)

-I grew up in a loving household and have cared for many children of all ages from 3 days to 12yrs, at times for more than just a few hours not just while thier parents went out to dinner, so I feel I have a good idea as to what is involved in raising a child. While it was fine for a few hours or days it is not something I want or feel I could handle on a daily basis for at least 18? years.

-have tried many different birth control pills all of which left me feeling very depressed all the time and that is no way to live.

-am allergic to latex condoms, while there are condoms made of natural materials they are not 100% effective. Continue to list off many other types of birth control and the side effects or even lie and say you tried some and they were not for you...for ? reasons.

-would they prefer that you show up in their office one day to have an abortion, as you feel that strongly about not wanting children(whether you would or not doesn't really matter, they don't need to know)

-should you have a child you never wanted by mistake and then end up resenting it or giving him/her a crappy life ( could be worded better)

-you could even say that you find that you are a rather selfish person, easily irritated or something like that and how that wouldn't be a good environment for a child to be raised in. I never said anything like that but I guess in a way it makes it look like you are looking out for that child that you never plan to have.

-if sometime in your life years from now you all of sudden felt like you wanted/needed to be a parent there is always foster, adoption or volunteering with kids(of course saying that may make them think there is a small part of you that does want to have kids). As they and everyone well know's there are pleanty of unwanted children in the world.

-would they want(or want you) to risk contributing to the unwanted/neglected children of the world(almost sounds like the unwanted pet overpopulation problem)

-sure you could refrain from ever haveing sex but sex is an important part of a healthy relationship between a husband and wife or any serious relationship etc..(why it's important etc...)

-you understand how the procedure works and that it is not 100% reversable, you are an adult and feel that you are being responsible in your decision.

-they asked if I was afraid of being pregnant, of getting fat and of child birth. I said no I wasn't and the above list has nothing to do with my decision, I just simply don't want the responsibilties(how many times can you tell them you know haveing a child is a huge resposiblity and you know it's not one you want or could handle, really I think that alone is a good enough reason for them to do it) that come with haveing a child. Unlike some people I don't get all warm and fuzzy when I see babies; sure they're cute but I still don't get "that" feeling that a lot of woman do.

I didn't end up haveing to really go into too much detail as to why I wanted it done...like I thought I would. I think I just basicly ended up saying that it was a commitment/responsibility I didn't want to make/could handle, felt that I was being responsible by making such a decision. I did mention all the problems I was haveing with birth control and maybe because my gyno was also a sex therapist it made a difference with him. Your an adult, it's your body, know one know's you better than you do and deep down inside you know and have always known that haveing children is not something you want for yourself. I don't think I would have been a bad mother but I know myself well enough to know how I would feel at the end of the day, the stress, being tired all the time, short fuse becasue I just want to be left alone for 5min and flying off the handle because while I still exsist it becomes all about trying to raise a happy, healthy well adjusted child/person....it's something I just would not be able to handle long term. Some people thrive on that... they love taking care of other's. I like/love taking care of my pets but it certainly isn't the same thing as taking care of a child.

Well I have written a book now and rambled some here and there. I suppose you could just simply say you hated children and why(although I can't really see hateing them, they're great as long as they aren't mine). I can't count the number of headaches I had after babysitting some days, nights, weeks. I suppose a lot of it was becasue they weren't mine so I was always worried something bad would happen while I simply went pee, but if I got that stressed so to speak about someone elses child how stressed would I get if it was mine...I really think I would end up going crazy(ok crazier than I already am) Ask them why they care or what difference it makes to them if one day you were to regret your decision, you can't really sue them.They simply have to educate you on what kind of decision you are makeing and then wash their hands of it.
I just don't get why it's such a big deal to them, it's your life and your body and really has no effect on them what so ever. It's not like they are making a decision to pull the plug on a life support machine and then they have to live with never knowing if they made the right decision or not since the tubal isn't their decsion it's yours.

I don't know if any of this was helpful or not and maybe other's can think of better ways of wording some things or add some things that may help. It just seems like most of the Doc's are just bull headed about it. My reg. doc did tell me that most doc's would only consider talking to me about it at 25(they will deliver a baby from a 16yr old mother but not help a 25 yr old woman not have one), and only talk not do it. Out of all the gyno's in London she only found 2 that would talk to me at 21 and sent me to the one she thought I'd have the best chance with. Now I didn't like him, he was weird and I will never go to him again but I am grateful that he did it for me.

Have you even had the chance to discuss it with someone other than your regular doctor? I don't know if you need referrals to see a gyno or not, if you don't I would just start calling them all. I wish you luck in finding/convincing someone to do it. I know I am glad I did it, I am by no means an addict or anything but it is nice not to have to worry about getting pregnant or to have to deal with all the side effects from birth control.

Sorry it was soo long and if it is confusing at all, I also hope I didn't offend anyone. Again I don't dislike children.

[TeriM]

Originally Posted by dustybird

Not to steal the thread or anything but is anyone else complety irregular?

Yep, I'm totally regular. Every 26 days , which means I get one extra "visit" a year compared to the 28 day cycles . The only good news is as I am getting older it is a shorter period, now only 3-4 days instead of 5-6 .

Have only missed 2 periods my entire life, both due to extreme stress.

[Mocha's mum]

Thanks dustybird!! I'm just so frustrated being told by other people how I feel or what I want. IMO, I'm old enough to make decisions that will directly impact nobody's life but my own. I'm going to bring these points up at my next appointment. I don't think I should feel like I need to ask permission all the time...

I just see my regular doc, because that's the first step, if I'm not mistaken. They have to refer you to the surgeon, or whatever. But all I've ever been told is "no no no" and it's really irritating me.

[Frenchy]

Originally Posted by Mocha's mum

But all I've ever been told is "no no no" and it's really irritating me.

They will only do it if you have related health problem , I have a coworker that did have a LOT of problems because of it. It took a lot of time for a doc to finally agree, she is still having problems.

But yes, it is our body and they should do it if we ask them too. Heck they do it for men, no questions asked.

[papillonmama]

For those having trouble with their regular doctors you could ask them to send you to a women's health clinic or a birth control clinic. They tend to be more open minded, and I really think they understand that it's your body, and even if they don't want to do the surgery, they can refer you to someone who would be more willing.

[dustybird]

From what I understand it is gyno's that do the procedure, it's who I went to, to have mine done as well as my mom when she had it done. A womens health clinic sounds like a good place to try or even just call all the gyno's in the phone book. A doctor isn't suppose to deny you any care so pester, pester, pester until they refer you if that is what is needed to see someone. Eventually they should refer you, even if its just to shut you up.

[Mocha's mum]

Ah, tbat's more my speed - annoy the heck out of someone until I get what I want!!

At any rate, I started taking Evening Primrose Oil and vitamin B6 last week. A friend of mine says it takes a few weeks to kick in, but it's helping her PMS. As long as I don't lose my marbles and chase some officer down the hall with my big stick!!

[LynLyn]

well ladies I blame you! (jk) yup all this P talk and after eight months of not having one, aunt flo paid a visit today

so now i get to have a "happy period" hehe this is sooo ridiculous. I think it's hilarious that the minute I have my health card and am all set up to go get checked out, aunt flo comes. geez i'm weird.

[glasslass]

I've stayed out of this thread because, frankly, it's been awhile since birth control and periods have been a problem. I was always irregular, always very light, sometimes skipping, and can count on one hand how many times I had cramps. When I was on the pill, I would sometimes skip several months. After 8 years, we ran out of excuses not to have a baby and realized we were happy the way we were and didn't want one. We were married young, so we were aged 27 and 30 when we tried to find a doctor that would do a vasectomy. We did find one. I had to sign a statement saying it was "to protect my life and health". My hubby had no problem doing it. It's much easier for men. He went trap-shooting afterwards. My maternal instincts are satisfied by my pets and we've never regretted it. You don't miss what you've never had. I do like kids, but for a short time only and then I want to give them back and enjoy my lifestyle.

[dustybird]

I had to sign a statement saying it was "to protect my life and health".

That doesn't really make sense, seeing he was haveing the procedure, you think it would be something you would sign if you were haveing it done.

I have no memory of ever haveing to sighn something when I had it done, I am sure I must have but it was probably just like any minor surgery form.

[raingirl]

yeah..but glasslass probably had it done..a long time ago (i beleive she is much older than us...i won't guess though, but probably more than 15 years ago).

on a funny note (and don't ask me WHY im posting here..but I guess I need to vent even though its the opposite to the main thread here when you think about it)...being i'm a regular person (28 to 32 days...max!)...i am going on 33 days here. I have NEVER wished for "my friend" to come visit more than I am right now lol.

[glasslass]

Yeah - 32 years ago. Basically, it was a consent form so the doc wouldn't have to deal with an angry wife. How could a woman not want babies! Ok! just to show how much older - The pill first became available when I was a freshman in high school. Before that we heard about "rubbers", saran wrap, and shaken coca-cola douche.

[raingirl]

eww...saran wrap...can you imagine how painful that would be??

[dustybird]

Speaking of painful if I remember anything(can't imagine why it stuck in my head) from an ancient Egypt documentary I watched once. Women used to use a half hollowed out lemon as a diaphram.....and my grandma (who's a little crazy so don't know how true) said they used to reuse condoms in her day, I imagine it's true as she grew up in Germany and things were hard to come by and expensive. So women not wanting to get pregnant or have children is not a new thing.