VERY tough decision

[northmom]

This is a very difficult decision for me.
I have a Lhasa Apso dog, he is black, his name is Mugsy.
Mugsy is a typical lhasa apso, non shedding, and friendly with a heartmelting compassionate personality.
he likes to play friendly, and sit next to your feet all day if you'd so be inclined, by your side if he could get away with it.
he loves to snuggle into fluffy floor pillows, and fuzzy cozy blankees.
he's overweight, because as a puppy, we were building a deck, and he fell over the side, twisting ligaments in his front legs, leaving one quite sideways. he gets around just fine, but on a short walk, he'll stop to lay down and rest a few times...
he is quite content to just sit outside with us if we'd just hang around the yard all day.
he's thrilled in the winter when we all sit around the house on cold days, and he can just lay in the room with us.
he's honestly a low maintenance, no trouble companion.
however, I work part time, and have three active kids. When the warm weather starts to roll around, poor Mugsy is the first one to be left out.
It seems no one has time for him, and a lhasa apso true to the description, Mugsy doesn't like being left alone, and unfortunately i notice this summer, being left alone a lot he is.
these dogs ARE NOT loners, and NEED to be around people. Mugsy does not care if the people around him are just sitting in the room having tea, as long as they are around him.
He is neutered, shots up to date,a nd vet certified for visiting residents in Long Term Care as Pet Therapy for the residents there.
And he absolutely loves the attention.
he doesn't much like little children, because they are too grabby and unpredictable, but Mugsy does love teenagers, and kids basically over 7/8 years old, and absolutely LOVES and adores any adult who will show him attention.
I am just west of edmonton, and am making a heartbreaking decision to find our little friend a good home.
I will ask that the new owners pay a fee for Mugsy as he is VERY well trained, and a VERY good dog, and I do not want him to be treated as 'worthless dog'.
That he is not.
If I could force my family to be at home more, and spend more time at home with him I would, but I cannot ask my family to stop being active and on the run for our family dog.
The children, want to get a big dog, such as a lab or retriever or spaniel, one that can keep up with them, and spend a little more time alone without showing that heartbreaking face when you walk away...
My children are visiting grandparents, until july 17th, and I do not want to wait past then to place Mugsy in a new home if possible.
The children would be devastated to know I found mugsy a new home and I think their hearts would not take it well either, however, this is in nothing less than fairness to the dog. I can ease the children's hearts with a sad story of Mugsy 'passing on', to which of sorts, he kind of will be, just not in the end of life way...
my email...

[Luba]

Have you thought about doggie daycare?

[northmom]

in my small community, there is no such thing...
i'm noticing more and more and more however, that the only person giving any attention to the dog these days, is myself, and a very 'grabby' 10 month old (my youngest) of which i have to monitor the every moment, and poor mugsy patiently puts up with grabby baby hands!

[Luba]

Are you sure you want to do this? It can be very heartbreaking for you and the dog. There may be some alternatives. If you don't have a doggy day care...perhaps you can pay a teenager or dog walker to take your dog for a walk or some play time.

A local vet or shelter or rescue may have a list of people who can help yu out that way.

[wjranch]

I honestly don't believe any 'helpful' suggestions are what this poster is looking for. It sounds to me that their mind is made up and they no longer want the 'burden' of this dog.
Although, I believe i read that they're planning on replacing it with another dog (that they WILL have time to train and spend with??? ) What is not being told to us? How old is this little dog? Does he have health issues? You state he really doesn't 'do little kids' well, yet, later in your post you state he puts up with your 10 month old???
I dont' know about anyone else, but, I am confused as to WHY you are forfeiting your responsiblity to this dog you took into your family? Only to look for another dog (bigger, no physical damages, whatever)? Dogs are not accessories! You can't just get one and then change your mind when he no longer 'fits' your lifestyle anymore... Would you ship one of your kids off if it was inconvienient to your lifestyle? No, i doubt it... Why is this little dog not being given the same consideration? Get him a 'pet'.. maybe instead of 1 big dog, you could have 2 little dogs?

Forgive me if I've missed something when i read the posts, but, that's what I'm getting out of it.

I say everyone should save your helpful hints for the posters who truly want them, I dont' think this one does... :sad:

[CyberKitten]

I just think there are so many other actions you can take before making this heartbraking action. Poor little Mugsy probably won't mind if she does not see you for the time you take with the children - she will be extremely upset if you find her a new place and person. Surely there are alternatives. Can you bring her with you - many people have diabled pets and take them with them to a variety of places?

If you can live with a demanding large animal (you mentioned getting a lab, surely you also have time for a tiny one like Migsy? A dog really is for life and even though she has a minor disability, it is not one that is causing her pain - just seemingly inconvenience. If you think about it, I am sure you can find a solution. Just think what you will be teaching your children if you do get rid of her because of a disability? I am always fighting for the rights of disabled children and people and I think dogs with similar problems also need advocates. She has done so much for you - surely there is a way to let her stay with the only family she knows.

Please don't take this the wrong way - you probably have not thought of this consequence but do you really want to teach your children that if a dog or a person becomes disabled and an inconvenience and their problems do not mesh with your lifestyle, that the solution is to replace him with a newer model that can keep up with you?

What would you do if this was one of your children? Surely the family would work around it. Life is sometimes not always fair - and it seems to have been unfair to poor little Mugsy with her accident but she has been able to enjoy a wonderful life with you. Surely, you can adjust your lifestyle just a tiny bit to ensure that this member of your family can continue to be part of her family?
You yourself describe him as low maintenace and no trouble. You should see what some members of this board have gone through to keep pets who have severe behavioural problems - they move heaven and earth and with help and advice, they succeed. You have a wonderful dog with no problems. My guess is that Mugsy can learn to spend time alone and you can make the time easier by having a friend or relative sit with her or taking her with you to some of the events.

I am quite sure if you think about it and perhaps get some help, you can avert a tragedy!

[mona_b]

I have to ask this.Only because you have stated this in your post.

You want to get rid of Mugsy because the kids want a bigger dog that can keep up with them?I find this very sad and heartbreaking.

Mugsy is the family dog right?So why can't he go where the family goes?He can be carried.

What happens if when you replace Mugsy with a bigger dog,and something happens to this one that slows him/her down?

Please don't think I am putting you down.I'm not.But do you think what you are planning to do with Mugsy is fair to him?He is a part of your family.So he is slower because of what happened to him.My GSD is starting to slow down a bit,he still comes everywhere the family goes.I could never ever replace him for another dog.He is part of our family.Yes I have an active family.Heck I have an 18 year old.And yes,can you believe she takes him places too.

Once again,please think about this long and hard.

Also,saying to the kids that he has passed away is not a good idea.Once they do find out,and they will,they will be very upset with you.

[NicInNC]

Originally Posted by northmom

This is a very difficult decision for me.
I have a Lhasa Apso dog, he is black, his name is Mugsy.
Mugsy is a typical lhasa apso, non shedding, and friendly with a heartmelting compassionate personality.
he likes to play friendly, and sit next to your feet all day if you'd so be inclined, by your side if he could get away with it.
he loves to snuggle into fluffy floor pillows, and fuzzy cozy blankees.
he's overweight, because as a puppy, we were building a deck, and he fell over the side, twisting ligaments in his front legs, leaving one quite sideways. he gets around just fine, but on a short walk, he'll stop to lay down and rest a few times...
he is quite content to just sit outside with us if we'd just hang around the yard all day.
he's thrilled in the winter when we all sit around the house on cold days, and he can just lay in the room with us.
he's honestly a low maintenance, no trouble companion.
however, I work part time, and have three active kids. When the warm weather starts to roll around, poor Mugsy is the first one to be left out.
It seems no one has time for him, and a lhasa apso true to the description, Mugsy doesn't like being left alone, and unfortunately i notice this summer, being left alone a lot he is.
these dogs ARE NOT loners, and NEED to be around people. Mugsy does not care if the people around him are just sitting in the room having tea, as long as they are around him.
He is neutered, shots up to date,a nd vet certified for visiting residents in Long Term Care as Pet Therapy for the residents there.
And he absolutely loves the attention.
he doesn't much like little children, because they are too grabby and unpredictable, but Mugsy does love teenagers, and kids basically over 7/8 years old, and absolutely LOVES and adores any adult who will show him attention.
I am just west of edmonton, and am making a heartbreaking decision to find our little friend a good home.
I will ask that the new owners pay a fee for Mugsy as he is VERY well trained, and a VERY good dog, and I do not want him to be treated as 'worthless dog'.
That he is not.
If I could force my family to be at home more, and spend more time at home with him I would, but I cannot ask my family to stop being active and on the run for our family dog.
The children, want to get a big dog, such as a lab or retriever or spaniel, one that can keep up with them, and spend a little more time alone without showing that heartbreaking face when you walk away...
My children are visiting grandparents, until july 17th, and I do not want to wait past then to place Mugsy in a new home if possible.
The children would be devastated to know I found mugsy a new home and I think their hearts would not take it well either, however, this is in nothing less than fairness to the dog. I can ease the children's hearts with a sad story of Mugsy 'passing on', to which of sorts, he kind of will be, just not in the end of life way...
my email...

I'm sorry, but this sounds like an easy way out. And you're also asking for MONEY? That to me raises a red flag. If you really cared about your pet, money wouldn't be an issue. I know you say that you don't want him to seem "worthless", but how much do you think he feels he's worth by you selling him?

Also, lying to your kids about him dying? That's messed up if you ask me.

Sorry if I'm being blunt, but I'm just telling it like I read it.

You mentioned getting a pet that won't be so sad when left alone, but I hate to tell you....you can't predict what pet will be fine alone. So, they may say that labs are ok alone. That doesn't mean that YOUR lab will be ok. The dog you get may come from a home that he's always been left alone and fine. That doesn't mean that he'll be ok when YOU leave him alone.

Get what I'm saying?

If you want to find a good home for him, find a rescue group that will take him and possibly foster him. Posting a for sale ad for your dog on the net isn't the best way to get a good home for your dog unless it's through a rescue group that interviews the prospective new pet owners.

[Cinnabear]

If you have no time for Mugsy, how can you have time for another dog?
And how can you say he's good for kids 7 or older when you have a baby?
Looks like your dumping him for a newer model. Very sad for Mugsy.

[Prin]

How about teaching the kids that part of life is responsibility and part of having a dog is responsibility? You're teaching them that if you ignore something you are responsible for, someone will come and take it off their hands. This is a life. Not a sweater that doesn't fit anymore. This is a LIFE. I was a busy teenager, but I HAD to take care of my dogs. You have to take the good with the bad, and that is a lesson all kids need to learn.

Please think this over.

[heeler's rock!]

This is a truly sad story for poor little Mugsy. I have to say though, and I know all your hearts are in the right place, but I think some of you came off too harsh and may have scared off the OP.

I also think this is not right or fair to Mugsy, and it's going to be hard to find him a new home when the OP doesn't state if he does well with other dogs.

I have 3 dogs, and my oldest doesn't like kids too much either. I have a baby on the way and knowing how my dog is, I'm enrolling her in a training class to help introduce the baby to her. I would never consider rehoming her, and if anything happened between her and my baby, I'd first look at myself and what I did wrong. Maybe all Mugsy needs is some training with the baby and some patience? There has to be another solution than giving him up. He loves you and your family, and it would cause a lot of stress on him to leave you.

Also, if you do get a lab or other big dog, consider that labs are VERY energetic and could do more harm to the baby than Mugsy ever did. They get very rambunctious and don't consider how big they are when playing with children. I would never recommend a lab for a family with young children due to that fact. An older lab that has calmed down some might be okay, but a young one is just asking for trouble. Also consider that they take A LOT of time and patience to train. You state you don't have time for Mugsy, how will you have time for a new dog? Please reconsider if you do come back to read what we all have to say.

[northmom]

first of all, Mugsy is a HE, not a SHE.
And Mugsy is NOT disabled. I stated that when Mugsy was a pup he had an accident, and now his legs are not physically fit as normal, and he has a bit of a funny limp, but he still gets around as usual, just not near as fast as once upon a day.
Another thing, I said I was going to ask a small fee for Mugsy, nothing outrageous, just a fee to ensure his home he goes to, is hopefully one that he is truly wanted.
Yes, I have three children, a 10 month old, a four year old, and a 12 year old.
Now, Mugsy has always been, and is a house dog/lap dog.
He does not do well at all when we have taken him on several of our excursions and adventures.
I'm sorry, but YOU find a way to put a dog in a raft and go on level three rapids...
YOU figure out a way to bring him camping when he just wants to sit inside on a fluffy pillow, and when you walk him anywhere, he needs to lay down to rest every twenty feet.
Meanwhile, be my guest and show up and offer to carry him around everywhere for us when he's too tired to carry himself!
He does just FINE with my children, because he LIVES and always has lived with my children. Plus my children are used to him being here, and I have taught them with strict discipline how to behave around animals, I cannot say the same for all other parents of small children.
My four year old is a girl, and although she loves Mugsy dearly, she's of an age, she loves any animal, at HER leisure, is she a freak of nature? no, she's a self centered child, like most that age.
My twelve year old son, loves Mugsy dearly and will sit and hold him and pet him and have him sleep in his room faithfully, but he's 12 and at an age where he really wants to be running around in summer with outdoor activities, and not carrying this dog.
My ten month old, well he's busy, but he's had me in arms length when he 'plays' with Mugsy, many parents would mistaken Mugsy's easy going personality for a good animal to be left alone with children, when Mugsy will defend himself by snapping or growling if he feels threatened by quick grabbing little hands.
Do I WANT to replace Mugsy? No, absolutely not. I would love to keep Mugsy as part of our family.
I wish that there was some way that Mugsy could stay.
But, meanwhile I'd be called worse names if i kept him, how dare I bother to keep this poor little dog, when we're never around, seldom home in summers, and always in a room downstairs which Mugsy cannot manipulate very well...
Poor Mugsy, longs for companionship, and summertimes, he's left to his own devices to whine and cry and bark for company, with no one around.
Do you people know anything about the breed? They are a dog not meant to be left alone, theya re not destructive, they just suffer being lonesome.
Should I tell my children, okay children, you absolutely CANNOT be off enjoying nature, fresh air, and physical activities unless you figure out a way to take Mugsy with you, and just put up with it...or stay home with him?
Or, okay, I'll ask the vet to send someone over to spend the 8 hours a day I"m at work with him, to sit in the room and read a book and pet him or talk to him every so often, because I can't...
Or heck, why not just pay a few hundred bucks a month to send him to doggy daycare?
Is that a for real suggestion?
He loves other animals, loves adults. TOLERATES children, but I know MY standards of discipline with children, and I know MY children, I also have known MANY friends who will come by and say, oh Mugsy is such a good dog, i'll let little Johnny play with him, only to have little johnny come crying bcuz Mugs has snarled and growled and showed his teeth in threat...because little johnny was being a little too aggressive for mugsy's liking.
Think what you want people, I'm trying to find the best situation for my dog.
He's truly suited for a retired couple, or at least someone who stays home all day or most days.
Right now, that is no longer us, I can't change the dynamics of my family, nor do I have any regrets so.
I wish mugsy was as spry as a pup, and less needy of socialization.
A big dog, well, let me put it to you like this, I was only going to accept a large dog from a rescue that could meet the needs of our family, and I wouldn't settle for just any nice looking dog, etc.
I'm not about to make an animal feel the unfairness from my family.
PRECISELY why i am trying to find a more suitable situation for Mugsy.

[Prin]

Do you people know anything about the breed? They are a dog not meant to be left alone, theya re not destructive, they just suffer being lonesome.

Why did you get one then?

YES. Tell your kids that they can't play outside till they've tended to the dog. THAT is what having a DOG is!! That is the responsibility! It doesn't take long every day. It really doesn't.

Please don't get another dog. You'll be back here in 4 months getting rid of it too, for a different reason, but the same reason.

And YES, you should charge an adoption fee. Screen too, if you decide to dump this doggy.

By the way, please don't triple post, we all see all the threads anyway.

[Prin]

The children would be devastated to know I found mugsy a new home and I think their hearts would not take it well either, however, this is in nothing less than fairness to the dog. I can ease the children's hearts with a sad story of Mugsy 'passing on', to which of sorts, he kind of will be, just not in the end of life way...

By the way, nice touch-- lying to the kids? Why would they get upset if they don't care about the dog anyway? Or is it just you who doesn't care? If you told them you were dumping the dog, would they take better care of it? Why not try that first?

[heeler's rock!]

Your mind is obviously made up, and nothing we say will change it. I agree with prin in the fact that you should not own another dog for a very long time.

I'm sorry, but YOU find a way to put a dog in a raft and go on level three rapids...

You say you can't take Mugsy rafting, how will you take a big dog that can "keep up" with your family?

YOU figure out a way to bring him camping when he just wants to sit inside on a fluffy pillow, and when you walk him anywhere, he needs to lay down to rest every twenty feet.

You also say that this isn't about his disability, but you mention it's a burden to camp with him since he stops every 20 feet.

Maybe you should have thought about what Mugsy would be like as he got older before getting him. There's a lot of things I have given up because of my dogs. Like staying out late, sleeping at my mom's house when hubby's not home, even going out to a BBQ in the afternoons because I won't be there to feed them! I always tell friends I can't see them until after 6:00pm, or I hire someone to come in and feed them. I would never think that they'd be happier elsewhere though. And yes, people seriously do pay a dog daycare or dog walker when they're not home. I used to dog walk and a lady with 3 dogs paid us to walk them twice a day, every day. Even when she was home. She knew they needed their excercise and companionship. True, not everyone can afford to do it everyday, but every other day works just as well. You also said in your first post that you work part time, and now you work full 8 hour days? Seems odd. I think there's more to you wanting to rehome Mugsy than you say.

Lhasa Apso's are not any more or any less damnding than any other dog. ALL DOGS are PACK ANIMALS and require companionship. Even bigger dogs. Your kids will also have difficulty walking a bigger dog, and controling it. Do you really think your 12 year old son, when he becomes 13, 14, 15 years old, will have time for ANY dog? Big or small? My brother in law got a malamute when he was 12. Spent the first year or so with him, then stopped because he was more into his friends and computer. The thought crossed their minds to rehome the dog, but they just couldn't do it. The family stepped in where the boy slacked off. They adapted to the dogs needs, and didn't throw the dog away.

Maybe Mugsy is better off somewhere with people that will love him unconditionally for life, not for the moment. So sad.

[LL1]

http://www.designerdogwear.com/

[CyberKitten]

I should be sleeping but good God, I am lying here thinking of poor little Mugsy. I stated disabled bec you said the dog had an accident and had problems. However minor that is, in some places, that is disabled. People apply for disability pensions on much less but I turly digress there.

I just wondered if you really thought of the impact on your children - and you do have to consider the dog's needs. I work in a field where I see children die and have to tell them they could die. It's not fun but it's part of life. For some reason, I did not see the part about lying to them about Mugsy and saying she died. That would be the absolute worst thing you can do and I say this as a professional ,loathe as I am to utilize my own experience here.

To cope with death, children need to go thru the various rituals of whatever it is your family belives about death. It is not a light subject and certainly not one to be used in the manner you propose. Again, don't be angry at me - I am being a messenger on this topic. This is not my opinion. It is based on 20 plus years of experience explaining every possibnle facet of death to children of every age and answering every concievable question, including those about their pets. Last month, a nine year old girl asked me if her dog would be waiting for when she died (She has leukemia which is actually quite easily treated these days and almost never a death sentence any more but her roomate from our hospital had died the week previous of another form of cancer and the girls had bonded, kept up to date by emails even tho they llived 8 hrs apart (ours is a tertiary care center and serves a large population). After telling her she would not have to think about that for a long time, I explained to her about Rainbow Ridge - which was a new concept to her. She then wondered if she could somehow "lend" her dog to J, who was "up there" too (I have to cautious about religiouis belifes since we have so many religious denominations and not everyone belives in Judeo Christian concepts. She speculated about J and her dog and she seemed at least happy that two beings she cherished would be together.

Children truly grieve for deceased pets which is why psychiatrists suggest doing something in memory of the pet when he or she passes. How do you bury a dog that is not there? What were you planning on that level? I am sure your kids would be very curious about death and you would have to answer all those questions. It is not a subject most kids need to hear about unless they have to. While I love my work, I do work with some beautiful kids who want to know everything about it. Some are more scared than others while some of the older teenagers plan their funeral! I had one 15 year old make me promise I would convince his parents that a certain rock group's music be played at his memorial even tho he knew his mom hated the group and "she'd get all weepy if I ask her this." I have to admit I weeped at the service myself.

But my God, you can't just say the dog died!! If you are going to make something up, find something much less devistating - someone far away needed Mugsy more than you and so you are helping that person. The truth is ALWAYS the best policy though!

Actually, it is a bit curious that you would mention adopting a lab. My brother recently married and the new blended family includes his chocolate lab - a wonderful, energetic and typical underfoot lab and his wife and new 5 year daughter and their lhasa Apso. The lab is the needier of the two in terms of having to be with someone all the time. And bigger so when he is underfoot in the kitchen, it can be fun to navigate. The two dogs go everywhere with them and when not possible, relatives lab and lhasaapso sit. In fact, the lab misses the little dog immensely when he is somewhere and she is not there.

Maybe, as someone said, you are going to do this anyway and I am typing for nothing. I'd prefer to give you the benefit of the doubt however and suggest you think of ways to keep Mugsy. You could try to see how he does if you leave him - start doing it incrementally. Pets are like us in that way. As they age, there is not much they can do about decreasing energy and increased medical problems. There are things we can try in fending off the aging process but sometimes, it is just not possible to overcome pain or lack of agility and we have tio give up things we love. I've had to do it not so much due to aging but medical probs but we make adjustments. Animals are usually even better than we are at doing that - my geriatric bunny lerarned he could not hop directly onto my bed at one point and so I put a little footstool so he could manage it. Or I would just carry him. He didn't mind - trust me, I'd have known. He was very adept at making his feelings known. There would have been quite the stomping session if he disagreed with me.

Perhaps you could have a pet psychologist help Mugsy overcome his fear or dislike of being alone. I know you live in a rural area but I live far from some services I need and travel to get them - in some cases, an eight hour drive hr train ride. Or I am sure you could talk to one and set up a schedule to help Mugsy adjust to being alone more. It is not a characteristic that is seen in every lhasa apso and it may be that he is more needy or just really really loves you guys.

I just think you need to put more thought into this. He sounds like a wonderful dog and he deserves at least that. As for the kids, they need not change their schedule too much either but children who love their animals find time to care for them - depending on their age. Even very ill children I know miss their pets whiile in hospital and I (and members of the oncology unit) have looked away more than once when someone "sneaked in" Fluffy or Muffy or Max. I am sure if you talk to the kids about this, they would have all sorts of creative ideas.

I had one patient whose mother decided on her own - without consulting this 13 yr old child who had just had a bone marrow transplant and needed to be in a super sterile envionment - to bring her pets, a recently acquired kitten and the family fox terrier who was the same age as she - to the "pound". The little girl was devistated and we almost lost her - her vital signs plummeted and her will to fight and live seemed gone!! So, needless to say, was her relationship with mom but that's another issue. Mom had thought - without doing any research or asking anyone at the hospital that the child could not be around pets. Fortunately, the dog was still alive and in the pound and had not yet been adopted and the people who'd adopted the kitten were willing to give her back - given the circumstances. Her pets safely returned, she slowly turned around and is now doing very well. Not cancer free but well.

Now, I doubt your children would react that way but you don't know! Sure, kids are self absorbed. They're KIDS!! But maybe if they know there is a danger of losing their precious pet, they will more than helpful. And yes, I know it might only last for a certain period of time but as mom, you have the "fun" of reminding them, right? I know they cannot take Mugsy skiing but I used to take my own pets to many places when I was growing up.

You indicated Mugsy is part of a pet therapy group- could you not have someone involved with that program take him while you and your kids are busy? What about relatives, friends, neighbours?

I apologize for being so long winded but to sum it all up, my advice is to:
- find alternative people to spend time with Mugsy
- desensitize his fear (or learned behaviour) of staying alone. He WILL adjust.
- Invlove the kids in finding solutions. Mugsy is a family member and all members should make this important decision. Please do not lie to them about the dog, especially about death!!! It is toiugh enough for kiods to face the concept of death. It's completely unethical to lie to them about the death of a beloved pet.
- Mugsy is a small dog and even lhasas like camping. Even the diva I now call my "lhasa niece" will camp because her family is there.He may have to remain in the tent due to his walking probs but surely to heavens someone can carry him back. I mean, there are more than one of you capable of that in your family.

You are not the only busy person who has a pet. I work 100 hrs a week and have a Siamese cat who is typical for her breed and needs to be around me constantly and foster two sphinexes who also like to be with people. I can only wish I had children to help me with them but I do have friends, relatives and many many kids who volunteer to help out. Plus, I can take YY(my Siamese) to work with me., She is great therapy!! For my patients and for me!!

I can omnly hoped I have reached you in some way. Even if Mugsy has to learn how to stay alone, I am absolutely certain she would appreciate that so much more than having to make a much bigger and more difficult adjustment to a strange surrounding wondering why her family had abanndoned her.

Good luck in yur deliberations!!!

[LL1]

Im confused.He is great with your kids.You work part time but are at work 8 hours every day? One kid in school full time,one at home with you,one not quite grade 1 and full time.You think your kids should have him with them and stay home and not play?That is your responsibility,not your kids,and if you go with your kids on all play dates,bring him in a carrying pouch.How many excursions do you go away on with a kid in school full time,a 10 month old baby and your working part time?Is there a male in the picture?Is he able to be on excursions all the time?Maybe relax on the trips?What accident did he have as a pup?Carry him downstairs to be with the family?

Originally Posted by northmom

And Mugsy is NOT disabled. I stated that when Mugsy was a pup he had an accident, and now his legs are not physically fit as normal, and he has a bit of a funny limp, but he still gets around as usual, just not near as fast as once upon a day.

Now, Mugsy has always been, and is a house dog/lap dog.
He does not do well at all when we have taken him on several of our excursions and adventures.
I'm sorry, but YOU find a way to put a dog in a raft and go on level three rapids...
YOU figure out a way to bring him camping when he just wants to sit inside on a fluffy pillow, and when you walk him anywhere, he needs to lay down to rest every twenty feet.
Meanwhile, be my guest and show up and offer to carry him around everywhere for us when he's too tired to carry himself!
He does just FINE with my children, because he LIVES and always has lived with my children. Plus my children are used to him being here, and I have taught them with strict discipline how to behave around animals, I cannot say the same for all other parents of small children.
My four year old is a girl, and although she loves Mugsy dearly, she's of an age, she loves any animal, at HER leisure, is she a freak of nature? no, she's a self centered child, like most that age.
My twelve year old son, loves Mugsy dearly and will sit and hold him and pet him and have him sleep in his room faithfully, but he's 12 and at an age where he really wants to be running around in summer with outdoor activities, and not carrying this dog.
My ten month old, well he's busy, but he's had me in arms length when he 'plays' with Mugsy, many parents would mistaken Mugsy's easy going personality for a good animal to be left alone with children, when Mugsy will defend himself by snapping or growling if he feels threatened by quick grabbing little hands.
Do I WANT to replace Mugsy? No, absolutely not. I would love to keep Mugsy as part of our family.
I wish that there was some way that Mugsy could stay.
But, meanwhile I'd be called worse names if i kept him, how dare I bother to keep this poor little dog, when we're never around, seldom home in summers, and always in a room downstairs which Mugsy cannot manipulate very well...
Poor Mugsy, longs for companionship, and summertimes, he's left to his own devices to whine and cry and bark for company, with no one around.
Do you people know anything about the breed? They are a dog not meant to be left alone, theya re not destructive, they just suffer being lonesome.
Should I tell my children, okay children, you absolutely CANNOT be off enjoying nature, fresh air, and physical activities unless you figure out a way to take Mugsy with you, and just put up with it...or stay home with him?
Or, okay, I'll ask the vet to send someone over to spend the 8 hours a day I"m at work with him, to sit in the room and read a book and pet him or talk to him every so often, because I can't...
Or heck, why not just pay a few hundred bucks a month to send him to doggy daycare?
Is that a for real suggestion?
He loves other animals, loves adults. TOLERATES children, but I know MY standards of discipline with children, and I know MY children, I also have known MANY friends who will come by and say, oh Mugsy is such a good dog, i'll let little Johnny play with him, only to have little johnny come crying bcuz Mugs has snarled and growled and showed his teeth in threat...because little johnny was being a little too aggressive for mugsy's liking.
Think what you want people, I'm trying to find the best situation for my dog.
He's truly suited for a retired couple, or at least someone who stays home all day or most days.
Right now, that is no longer us, I can't change the dynamics of my family, nor do I have any regrets so.
I wish mugsy was as spry as a pup, and less needy of socialization.
A big dog, well, let me put it to you like this, I was only going to accept a large dog from a rescue that could meet the needs of our family, and I wouldn't settle for just any nice looking dog, etc.
I'm not about to make an animal feel the unfairness from my family.
PRECISELY why i am trying to find a more suitable situation for Mugsy.

[LavenderRott]

As the mother of a young child, who recently lost his lifelong companion, I can tell you that explaining death to a child is no easy thing. Not for you nor for the child.

My son is 7 and we had our rescued rottweiler for 8 years. One morning in March, she couldn't put any weight on her front leg. She was diagnosed with cancer and sent to the bridge less then 12 hours later.

It was heartbreaking for my son. He still cries because he misses her.

I am very sorry that Mugsy no longer fits into your lifestyle. Before getting another dog, please take into account time spent away from the new dog in later years as your children are teenagers, etc. And I would avoid puppies as the don't just grow up to be good dogs - they must be trained and it really doesn't sound like you have time for that either.

[Melinda]

A lab, god, a lab is sooooo dependant, even a mixed lab, she is glued to our sides and cries if one of us leaves the house without her. She has to have one of us in sight at all times (she's laying across my feet as I write this), In my opinion (which was not asked for but I'll give anyways) of all the dogs I've owned, my labX's have been the most dependant on people company. please don't get that breed if you plan on leaving it alone for 8 hours or if your kids will lose interest in it, especially if you have children under the age of 8, they are clumsy for the first 3 yrs as they stay "puppies" forever.

In May of this year I lost my "shadow", a lab/rotti/gr dane mix, I'm 46 yrs old and still cry almost daily with missing her. Do not tell your children that their pet died. Tell them the truth, tell them "you wouldn't spend time with Mugsy, you showed no responsibility in pet ownership and we thought it best to give Mugsy to someone who would care about her and look after her"

[badger]

However gut-wrenching it is to give up a dog (and unfair, yes) I think this little fellow would do better in another environment. A dog that has to rest every twenty feet cannot miraculously be transformed into a perfectly healthy active animal that can jump in a river raft (reminds me of that movie with Meryl Streep, where she gets hijacked on a river with her children; there's a darling lab who runs off but is reunited with them at the end, along with suddenly macho husband, a B movie but OK for a rainy day. anyway I digress).

The only thing I would say, northmom, is take your time, don't impose a deadline, ask around, maybe you personally know a retired couple who would take him and then the children could visit? I would speak to your children, explain the situation from the dog's perspective. Maybe a cat would be a good idea, a nice rescue which waits quite happily for your return and doesn't have the same needs. A big active dog can get separation anxiety too and requires lots of long walks, which you don't seem to have time for at present.

If his new family are people you know, maybe the fee could be waived. Otherwise, definitely charge a fee. 100-150$ sounds fine.

But take your time, now that you have decided, don't rush to advertise. Ask around, use your intuition, you need a specific situation for this little guy and you shouldn't settle for anything less just to speed up the process.

[coppperbelle]

Who do you think will adopt him? With shelters full of beautiful puppies and dogs needing good homes do you honestly think someone will jump on the opportunity to adopt and pay for Mugsy because you took the time to train him? If he ends up in a shelter he will be euthanized.
Last week I rescued an older, very overweight golden from euthanization. His crime was that no one had time for him. The owners shaved him before bringing him to the shelter (what a mess)and he had an ear infection. There were three strikes against him (age, overweight and ear infection). The shelter is full of healthy good looking, younger animals so the reality is that he would never be adopted.

I am so angry reading your excuses.

I am trying to figure out how you can take a 10 month old in level 3 rapids.

[chico2]

I was going to say,here we go again.. :sad: another little dog who has lived out his welcome Although I believe this is definetly the case,little Mugsy would probably be better off with someone who will love him.
He will be heartbroken and confused to start,but hopefully recover if you find him a good home.
I also believe you should give your children a chance,lying to them is the worst thing you can do,they need to know what you are about to do..
You give Mugsy a week until July 17th,not much time to find and investigate a loving home,I fear that little Mugsy will be given to the first available home :sad:
On my street,there is a family with 2 kids,they kept a little white Terrier in the garage,also obviously worn out his welcome.
To make a long story short,I had my dealings with them,I could not handle seeing this little dog tied up in the garage!
A couple of days later he was gone :sad: more than likely pts and yes,I felt guilty about it!!The parents however said he'd been stolen in the night and the daughter,2 years later,is still looking for the dog she cared so little about when she had him.
Kids need to realize a dog has feelings,feels sadness and pain and you are not setting a good example for your kids,the least you can do for Mugsy and the kids is to tell the truth

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

Your kids will be happier knowing that Mugsy has gone to a happy home rather then she passed away.

I won't comment on this situation because I gave my dog away. (Long involved post back in March)

My kids know that our dog is on a farm with other dogs, and yes they do miss him and talk about him a lot. I do feel that our former dog is actually in a better enviornment now for himself, but I still don't feel right with the decision. Which I finally agreed with after sometime with my husband.

Also before you make this decision I would sit down with your family and talk it through and decide if thats what is best for everyone.

[Daisy's Owner]

My only suggestion is to make the kids aware of what you are doing.

My parents took me on vacation, and rehomed our dog while we were gone. That was over 30 years ago. I still think about how upset I was sometimes. One of those sad childhood memories that sticks around.

[Rottielover]

HA HA HA, you think larger dogs would be more ok with you being gone for such a long time. I would ask my 2.....They hate it when I leave. But I gotta go. You make the sacrifice when you adopt. as if you are adopting your child. There are many activities that you can bring a small dog to. Invest in a doggy back pack...They work. But it seems you have already made up you mind....Lying to your children...How could you, you are the one supposed to lead by example. Same as responsibility...You dumping the dog, shows those kids that dogs are easily replacable. which for me is just sick.

[NicInNC]

There are MANY things I want to say right now, but I'd probably get kicked out of here.

After reading the OP's most recent post, I must say that this dog DOES deserve a new home. One that will actually LOVE him.

I just feel bad for the new dog that they get. What if the new pup/dog is petrified of water and won't go on their white water rafting excursions with them? I bet they'll dump him too.

If I lived anywhere near Canada, I'd take Mugsy. I'm a SAHM, so I'd be a perfect fit. I'm also too poor to go on excursions and camping trips more than once a year. My dogs vet bills break me, but they're worth every penny!

That's all I have to say.

[Luba]

I am just curious why you attacked my suggestion for having your dog a little playmate? Like I was saying someone to spend time with your dog and go for a walk. I didn't say 8 hours though, your dog doesn't need constant supervision for 8hours.

It's very sad that you don't want to work through this and I don't think it has anything to do with the dog. This is more to do with selfish decisions, and thats very sad. Eventually running away from things and taking the easy way out will end up bitin you in the behind.

Larger dogs are MORE work because they require MORE exercise. You think the kids are going to play with the dog in the yard or will they be off riding their bikes and going places with their friends?

You've made several statements here of 'why' you are doing this but I think you need to be honest and truthful with yourself. YOu made a decision to give this dog a happy loving home for the rest of it's life! You're backing out of your end of the deal, this sweet little dog did nothing wrong. You may just destroy this dogs will to live.

Do you have any idea how many times dogs, esp ones with tender personalities end up not eating and give up on life when they are removed from their home?

Think about that, and what you are doing. This is very very wrong and you know it! Not going to get any sympathy for making a very poor decision.

[Puppyluv]

AHHHHH I just want to scream from reading this post. But I will refrain.
BREATHE
ok
I have to ask, why did you get Mugsy in the first place? was it because one of your children requested a dog? Because it certainly seems like the reason you want a bigger, faster dog, is because it would better suit your children. So if you got them that dog, what happens when it gets old and slow? Pass it on down?
The children thing. You say you don't want to have to tell them 'no don't play, keep Mugsy company' You don't necessarily have to. Is he not your dog too? Are you not a supposedly responsible adult, who can spend time with him? or do you want to be out playing rather than being committed and responsible?

[Prin]

Originally Posted by Prin

Why did you get one then?

Puppyluv, I asked that, too... No reply. I can imagine how researched she was. Just like with the future lab. Someone should show her some pictures of lab destruction.