Is it time to let Lodi go?

[My Lodi Girl]

I posted a few weeks ago that my dog Lodi was diagnosed with a malignant mast cell tumor on June 29th. I have been told many, many times that "you will know" when it is time to let her go and while I think I know now, I am not sure and I need some advice.
Lodi is not doing well. She has not eaten since Monday morning, she is still drinking water, she is vomiting every 1-2 hours, she has black watery diareha (sp?) that comes about every other time she vomits, her breathing is labored and noisy, she cannot get comfortable and she cannot walk more than a few feet before she has to lay down. But she is still aware and still gives me kisses. She could not get comfortable in bed last night so I put her on the couch where she is able to rest some and I slept on the loveseat so I could be there for her. She was up several times in the night vomiting. Her vomit at first looked like she had drank some Coca Cola then after a while looked like it had tiny bits of cottage cheese in it but now is either frothy spit or water.
Yesterday morning I thought it was time to let her go so I took her into the vet at 8:30 am so they could draw blood to test for organ failure and took her to see the vet at 10:00am. The blood test came back that her white blood cell count is over 25,000 and she is anemic. Her liver is swollen also. The vet didn't think it was time for her to go because she is still so aware/giving kisses. He gave her a B-12 shot, an antibiotic shot and another shot (forgot what that one was). He wants me to bring her back in today for another set of shots and wants to see her again tomorrow. Yesterday, at his advice, I gave her Pepto Bismol every hour for four hours then twice more before bedtime. I don't think it helped.
She is miserable. My question to you is...do I wait until her mind is gone and she is not aware of anything or do I do it now since she is so miserable and cannot be cured? Am I delaying the inevitable at her comfort? I don't want to lose her but I don't want her to suffer even more. I need your honest opinion.
Thank you all,
Linda

[sugarcatmom]

What a tough time for you and Lodi, and what a tough decision to have to make. Even when the signs are clear, it's still very difficult and painful. I find this Quality of Life Scale can help give some perspective, and this article also has good advice. I'm not sure I agree with the vet about waiting until Lodi isn't "aware" anymore, because getting to that state is not always pleasant. But that's a decision for you and Lodi to make.

[Love4himies]

Oh, I am so sorry , I don't envy you for having to make this decision.

I would say it is time. It doesn't sound like there is any quality of life left.

[My Lodi Girl]

Thank you sugarcatmom and Love4himies for your honest responses. I guess I am looking for validation for what I know I need to do. I have left a message for the vet letting him know my decision and to see if he will come to my house today to help my girl on the rest of her journey. I would like for my other girls to know that Lodi is gone so that they don't think I just left her somewhere if I have to take her to the vet's office.
I am heartbroken but I want Lodi to be whole and healthy again and I know she will be waiting for me at Rainbow Bridge.
Not very often do I wish I had a husband but times like this is one of them.
Linda

[14+kitties]

Thank you for being strong for Lodi.

[Sylvie]

You have made one of the hardest decisions in life. Keep in mind that you made this decision for your wonderful Lodi. It sounds like you have made the right decison, as hard as it was. Lodi is ready I understand what you are going through right now. My are with you both.

to your family and for Lodi.

[Golden Girls]

:sad: I'm so sorry Linda :sad: I too have had to make that decision not so long ago. Having the vet come to my home and having her sister beside her was something I struggled with ... but didn't regret.

Please take comfort knowing you love her enough to let her go

My thoughts and prayers are with you

[hazelrunpack]

It does sound like it's time, Linda Such a hard time for you. But you're giving Lodi a great gift--she'll feel your love right to the time she passes and she'll carry it with her. What better gift is there?

Stay strong and cherish your girl today. You're both in my thoughts and prayers.

[Melinda]

rest assured that it is time, what love you must have for her to let her go and give her peace. *huggers* its not easy and we will all be here for you.

[Chris21711]

On the 8th September I faced the same decision that you are going through now with my sweet Cocoa .....she was still lucid and aware and her gaze followed me throughout the house. She was no longer a shadow of her old self, it was heartbreaking and as I type this my heart is breaking just thinking of her.

I had the Vet come to the house, the home she had lived in for 14 1/2 years.

My thoughts are with you and Lodi.

[clm]

I hate to say it, but I too think it's time. :sad: If she's not enjoying life, then why prolong it. I'm so sorry for what you're going though.

clm

[Dog Dancer]

I agree with the others that the time has come for Lodi to be given her peace. Your heart knows this as well which is why you made that ultimate kind act of calling the vet. Lodi is telling you this with her sweet kisses. I don't think the vet was right to say wait until she's unaware either. That is not how we want to go and nor do our beloved pets. Yours is the kindest act of love you can give her now. Be strong and we are all with you and Lodi.

[My Lodi Girl]

Thank you all so much for your honest opinions and your support. Lodi peacefully died at 9:15 this morning. I ended up having to take her to the vet's office because they wouldn't have been able to come here until late this afternoon and Lodi was tired. She gave me one last kiss right after she was given the first shot. She was ready to go. I miss her already - she was my talker. I have three other dogs but isn't it amazing how just one being gone can make the house seem so lonely and quiet? Not going to do much today - maybe gather up her belongings for her memory box and cry. Thanks again.
Linda

[BenMax]

I am so very sorry.

I went through the same this Monday with a cat that I had given to my sister for her first wedding -15 years ago. It was a very very difficult decision but it had to be done.

My thoughts are with you, and I know how you feel. Again, my condolences.

RIP little one. Run free, wild and rejuvenated.

[Love4himies]

I am so sorry . You have given her the most unselfish gift of all

Lodi

[14+kitties]

Lodi You are now free to run and play at the bridge till your loving human joins you again.

Linda I know how painful it is to say goodbye. Just a little poem I found to maybe help ease the pain when you are ready for it.

HEAVEN'S DOGGY-DOOR

My best friend closed his eyes last night,
As his head was in my hand.
The Doctors said he was in pain,
And it was hard for him to stand.
The thoughts that scurried through my head,
As I cradled him in my arms.
Were of his younger, puppy years,
And OH...his many charms.
Today, there was no gentle nudge
With an intense "I love you gaze",
Only a heart thats filled with tears
Remembering our joy filled days.
But an Angel just appeared to me,
And he said, "You should cry no more,
GOD also loves our canine friends,
HE's installed a 'doggy-door"!
jan cooper '95

[hazelrunpack]

You are such a strong, caring person.

No one can take your memories from you or break the love you have for Lodi. She's still with you in your heart, Linda.

Lodi

[Fredandbarb]

I will be facing the same dilema soon. I think it's time to let Lodi go

[Melinda]

run pain free little one and wait for mommy...........what a wonderful gift you gave your fur baby *huggers*

[Winston]

Lodi you were given a gift today! Run free little one! til you are reunited!

Linda please feel free to come and chat with us all! many have been there and understand!

Cindy

[My Lodi Girl]

Thank you all so much. I have attached one of my very favorite pictures of Lodi. It was taken several years ago but reflects her personality so well. Proof of a smiling dog!
Linda

[sugarcatmom]

Aww, what a cutie. Such a shiny coat! You did a very loving thing today, and while no doubt the pain is great for you, Lodi had an opportunity to leave this earthly realm surrounded by love and compassion. Helping our pets to make that transition is the ultimate selfless gift. Hugs to you.

[TeriM]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is obvious that Lodi was very loved and lucky to be part of your family. I love that smile in her pic .

[Shaykeija]

I am so sorry for you loss.....

[diandpat]

So so sorry for your loss...doesn't make it any easier knowing it was the "right thing" to do. I hurts like Hell

Lodi is young, whole and healthy again waiting for you

14+ that is a beautiful poem...thank you for sharing.

[edwina]

Lodi

[Ryan48]

((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))

RM

[t.pettet]

My condolences to you on your loss of Lodi. To end her suffering was the final kindest act you could do for her, I believe you will be reunited with her again in the future.

[Roger & Corey]

Linda:
I had to make this dreaded decision on Oct. 19, 2009. I had my little Corey, a beautiful, white poodle for 16.5 years. He was my only "child". He was my everything and even today, 2 weeks later, I question as to whether I made the right decision. I didn't want to lose him and feel guilty sometimes about the decision to have him put to sleep. There are days that I cry out loud and feel so helpless. What keeps me sane is that I know he is with GOD and he is taking great care of him. This gives me peace and I know he will wait for me at Rainbow Bridge. I know you felt the same way about your beloved Lodi. It is such a hard decision, but honestly, after reading your post, I know in my heart that you like me, did all you could for your baby. She is not suffering anymore and GOD is an awesome GOD and he will take great care of your baby, Lodi. Cry out loud and thank GOD for making your life richer for letting Lodi be such an important part of who you are. Our pets bring us such joy. So many things could have happened had you waited any longer. I will say a special prayer for you that GOD will give you peace. Enjoy the babies you still have and know that you did all you could do.
GOD bless!

[My Lodi Girl]

I very much appreciate all of the condolences, prayers, hugs and thoughts. I know I made the right decision for Lodi but to quote diandpat "it hurts like hell". I know time will heal. When my little Trinket died in 2002, I cried every single day for four months and I only had her 15 months. Lodi was 11 years 9 months old and I have had her since she was 5 1/2 weeks old. She was a special girl. I have quite a few videos and tons of pictures of her. I would love to make a movie about her with them but need to learn how to do it.
I want to thank each and every one of you...for the poem, for the compliments on my little black beauty, for the outpouring of empathy and support. I, in turn, send my condolences to those of you who have lost babies and those who will be having to go through this. I truly believe I will see her again and her little butt will be wiggling like crazy trying to keep up with her tail! Thanks again everyone.
Linda