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  #31  
Old June 8th, 2009, 08:28 PM
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I really hate kids like this...potential serial killer in the making...Makes me wish their birth control hadn't failed....
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  #32  
Old June 9th, 2009, 01:29 AM
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I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your poor dog. You have gotten good advice here. If it was me, I would of told the kids to go and sit down and stood in front of the screen until he did. I would also tell the mom that he wasn't welcome in your house until he learned how to be around animals. Then the next time they come over, lock the dog in the bedroom to protect the dog. I have a very short fuse when it comes to someone being mean to animals and 5 year olds know better! My animals are my kids and they come first!

Maybe your firend's son has ADD with anger problems or opossitional Disorder?

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  #33  
Old June 9th, 2009, 06:57 AM
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I'll be more aware in the future, though don't plan on being around this boy until something is done, or much time passes. There won't be a next time anytime soon! Since they don't live near me, this will be relatively easy. I made the mistake of assuming the mother would get him under control, and thought he was by the time I let my dog in. I was shocked by the way he went after my dog in anger, to hit and kick him. By the time i recovered from shock, my first thought was to remove my dog from the situation, so that's what I did. Looking back, everything happened very fast. But believe me, if there is a next time, i'll be on the lookout and better prepared to deal with the kid myself. If I was a parent, I might be more comfortable with disciplining kids, but don't have them, nor am I around them much (I am as comfortable with them as my dog is), and there are no friends or family nearby with kids. I'll talk to my friend, she probably also suspects her son may need some help.
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  #34  
Old June 9th, 2009, 07:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Kristin7 View Post
I'll talk to my friend, she probably also suspects her son may need some help.
It's a delicate topic but being friends for so long hopefully it'll be viewed as constructive criticism

Getting back to their cat situation could you not explain to her as well that their cat is at high risk of getting hurt and more then likely terrified? Maybe we could help by referring a rescue group in her area?
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  #35  
Old June 9th, 2009, 07:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Shaykeija View Post
I really hate kids like this...potential serial killer in the making...Makes me wish their birth control hadn't failed....
Or a wife abuser.
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  #36  
Old June 9th, 2009, 09:42 AM
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children act out what they see or experience, spanking, smacking or putting a child across your knee will become so commonplace and expected to the child that he will begin to think this is a way of life, the parent smacks him, he yells, cries (makes himself heard) and the parents shush him, cuddle him etc , so he's happy, he has attention, the child figures, well I can do it to an animal, get it going...thats fine, thats commonplace, its not mean or cruel because its done to me by parents that love me...understand?
I've had many children placed with me that were very cruel or just didn't know how to act around animals, thats why they were placed here with my "zoo", so they would learn other forms of punishment for things they do wrong "time out, firm corrections" and at the same time see rewards given for being gentle with the animals here, helping to groom and feed them. most have turned out wonderfully, but like this little one it could be a form of autism or mental problem, I do hope they get help for him.
Just make sure your dog is around good children for awhile that will pet and treat him, the suggestion about walking him near parks and school yards was a great one. sorry to go on and on, but any form of "smacking" or physically punishing children just gets my dander up *S*
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  #37  
Old June 9th, 2009, 09:50 AM
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I don't know Melinda - I can remember as a child getting a smack. And look at me...I turned out pretty good..........(ok never mind, don't answer that!)

You are right BUT I don't think taking away a toy is the answer either. Time out is a joke so nix that one.

Bottom line is the kid needs a professional assessment. Something just is not right here.
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  #38  
Old June 9th, 2009, 09:57 AM
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Time out in a daycare setting is not a nice thing to be in BenMax, if you were a smoker and everyone around you got to sit there having a smoke and you couldn't......or a drinker etc...you know what I mean? here during time out they are placed where they see the others playing with toys...or doing a craft and they are excluded....a lesson like that sinks in pretty fast.
and I was also smacked as a child, a tap on the hand or butt usually is enough to get the attention of a child. and I agree it will not work on all children. But physical punishment is not what is needed in 50% of the cases, like you say, an assesment is needed on that percentage

*and I won't answer about you being smacked *LOL* nuff said
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  #39  
Old June 9th, 2009, 10:05 AM
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Good points Melinda Whatever the problem is or isn't with this little boy the only thing this mom should do seeing he doesn't respect animals then remove their cat (edit omg I just read they have two dogs too) and not allow him near any animals. When he can learn that an animal is a gift not a means to let out frustration maybe but not until

IMO removing the DVD player as a punishment ... I so see a 5 yr old not being able to connect the dots

Last edited by Golden Girls; June 9th, 2009 at 10:23 AM.
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  #40  
Old June 9th, 2009, 10:47 AM
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You are right, Melinda, children will do what they learn. This child AND parents need to learn how to rechannel their frustrations/anger to a more civilized manner rather than violence. A child who grows up not knowing how to do this, does turn into a partner/child/animal abuser.
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  #41  
Old June 9th, 2009, 10:57 AM
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you know how they say a tired dog is a good dog? well the same can be applied to a child, enough video games, get out and about, interact with families and pets, I have my daycare kids involved in stuff almost every minute of the day whether it is mental stimulation or physical, get them involved, take the time with a child to teach them the proper way to interact with a dog, I have the kids here put brina through her paces daily, they love knowing they can make her sit, lay down, "dance" and shake a paw, then they are allowed to treat her. Maybe next time your friend is around with her child, get him to put your dog through its commands and show him how much fun it is to be a friend to the dog, let him understand that if the dog is afraid of him it won't play nice next time it see's him. Hopefully the mom will catch on also.
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  #42  
Old June 9th, 2009, 11:19 AM
Rottielover Rottielover is offline
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Too bad you were not closer to me, we could have used my daughter. LP and Frenchy have met her a few times with the dogs and very well behaved with them too.
I feel for your dog, he had no way to defend himself without snapping.
That child never again in the home, and I agree with the rest, family counseling, ways to discipline correctly, and many more things to learn.
I am sorry you had to go through it
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  #43  
Old June 9th, 2009, 11:36 AM
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I have had a similiar issue and it has created some issues. My oldest dog, who is quite large but only 18 months was teased and hit with sticks by my brothers children. I caught them in the act and my brother did discipline his kids. He is not one that does not believe in spanking. It has however created issues with my oldest in the fact that she just plain does not trust children. Honestly I am very hesitant to let her be around them. I dont know if dogs can talk to each other or what but she has passed on the information to my younger 2 that kids arent to be trusted. We have to watch them very closely as well. We try to get them around kids as much as possible but its a scary situation as all 3 of my dogs are ober 100 pounds and i want no issues whatsoever. When my brother visits from out of town now, we dont bring the dogs with us if we go see him. Its a shame but he knows why we dont bring them. Its not to protect just his kids but also to protect my dogs.
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  #44  
Old June 9th, 2009, 11:55 AM
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great post 3girlsdad, I don;t let my boys near kids I don;t know or trust. 160lbs of dog can be scary if something god forbid happens
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  #45  
Old June 9th, 2009, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Golden Girls View Post
Good points Melinda Whatever the problem is or isn't with this little boy the only thing this mom should do seeing he doesn't respect animals then remove their cat (edit omg I just read they have two dogs too) and not allow him near any animals. When he can learn that an animal is a gift not a means to let out frustration maybe but not until

IMO removing the DVD player as a punishment ... I so see a 5 yr old not being able to connect the dots
Yes, they have 2 dogs. One is very old and won't be around much longer. He basically just sleeps all the time. The other one is great with kids, and tolerates everything. The scary thing is, they are planning to get another dog (puppy) next year - a Great Pyr mix. I worry about the cat, but have lots of time to work on that. They are leaving on vacation for a couple months, so the cat will be safe with the petsitter and away from the boy.

That's so true, the DVD player/misbehavior connect is likely lost on this one. Something like that does nothing while the situation is ongoing (boy is hitting the dog, like he really cares about the DVD right then). Time outs do not work with him either, they try this as well. There are times I would spank, and in this one I would have (if he were mine) just to take his attention away from the animal and gotten him somewhere safe - to me it is much preferable to do this than have a child mauled or killed by a dog. My parents spanked us, it can be done effectively, though agree it will not work with everyone. The way mine did it, they made is feel terribly guilty at having to spank us, explained they didn't want to do it and all. It was more humiliating than anything. I only remember being spanked twice. That said, from what I've seen, in that family, the spankings would have been presented probably in a different way, and done in anger.

I only wish the mother had been in control of her son - she doesn't seem to know any effective way of doing this, and what bothers me a lot is that she was willing to let my dog handle it his own way, even if her son was bitten. I'll be keeping that in mind for any future encounters we have with children and be prepared to take control.

I hope the boy can learn, he's still young and has lots of opportunities, as they do have their own pets (unfortunately) for teaching. Maybe he's just going thru a 'stage'... still, from what many others say, it sounds like this isn't normal behaviour, and he's going to end up seriously hurt or hurting others.

3GirlsDad - that is exactly what I'm afraid of for my dog. I'm not thrilled about testing him out on other people's kids either. If I have to, I'll keep him away from children in general, though would much rather he be better socialized with them. There are lots of parks nearby, so will be walking him around places like that, and hope that works.
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  #46  
Old June 9th, 2009, 06:03 PM
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Wow. Your poor dog!

I would strongly advise your friends not to get a Pyr, not with a kid that thinks it's okay to abuse animals. The kid will end up hurt and the dog will pay the price. Of course I wouldn't advise them to have any animals of any kind around a kid like that. Without some kind of intervention, his behavior will escalate, whether that is becoming the school-yard bully or torturing small animals, it will escalate.

I personally don't agree with the no physical punishment theories. I was abused during my childhood and there is a huge difference between abuse and punishment. My son was spanked, and in fact the spanking was the only thing that worked for him. My stepfather giving me black eyes, or leaving holes in my back from throwing me against things on the wall - that was abuse. Making my kid bend over and grab his ankles so I could paddle his butt was not. My son did not hurt animals or develop any other deviant behavior because I employed physical punishment. He did however turn into a fine young man.

If you want your dog to learn that kids are good, be careful of having her around large groups of kids that you have no control over. If the kids descend upon her as a group, it could make her fear even worse. I think I would go to one of these parks and solicit a small group of children to maybe help you with her training. Or perhaps ask your vet or a local dog trainer if they know of children that could help you.
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  #47  
Old June 29th, 2009, 05:16 AM
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what's more detestable is not the kid, but his parents who actually put the kid in a danger unknown to him yet. That's unacceptable.

some parents are really annoying. I have a "hello friend" whose 6-year-old kid stole the food from my dog's bowl in my yard. I didn't even invite him to come. Ya know what, after his mother found it, she blamed me for putting the dog bowl in my OWN yard, threatened that if her son had a diarrhea problem i had to pay for his medical cost, and she received all backfire she deserved. That's ridiculous.
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  #48  
Old July 13th, 2009, 05:51 PM
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wake up Mother!! one of the first things I taught my kids when we got a dog. Dogs don't have hands, they cant hit back, so whats the first thing they use ?? Should that have been one of my kids after the second time of kicking the dog, they would have got a spank, if only for the reason of saving their faces when they pick on the wrong dog. Its not your dog that needs the discipline hon its the child and mother.
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