That's it for Matty

[sprayeddog]

Matty's destroyed yet another dry wall and I am afraid he's drawn his last straw.

We've been trying to give as much as we can, and be as patient as we can with Matty, but you know, it's a 2-way street. Matty is a 14 mths old lab, and he's turned our home into a living hell for the last 6 months. Those who've been following our story knows how Matty's been. We can't leave him alone for 30 sec's at home or else he'd destroy something. Some suggested Matty's just bored, and I've been waking up 20 minutes early to run with him in the morning, he goes for walk everyday, and as a working couple we've given him as much exercise as we possibly can.

Yet his destruction behaviour doesn't stop. Worse, when I run with him or take him outside for a walk, he jumps, nips, tries to bite my hand ... he's behaving like an untrained dog, when we've been doing our best to train him.

Matty's not our first dog, yet he's by far the WORST dog when it comes to obedience. Maybe it's just his age? Maybe, but I don't want to live in this living hell for another day.

I've done all that I could for Matty. Love is a 2-way street. We've stepped up to the plate, but Matty's only got worse.

Matty will be rehomed, and that will put an end to our frustration. I'll be extremely sad everytime I see a dog from now on, but I can't stand another day of this. My wife's already having depression, and I am close to losing my nerves.

It's a very sad decision, but enough is enough.

[Puppyluv]

I'm very sorry to hear this news. If you are sure about this decision, than nothing can be said to change your mind. I do however, think that there are so many options that have not been pursued completely: a profesional trainer specializing in difficult dogs, doggy day care, dog walkers etc. I think, just as an anecdote (and because it's a really good book) you should read "Marley and Me" by John Grogan, it's about a man who has an extremely poorly behaved dog, but they lived with him to 13. I do hope things work out, but if they don't I hope that Matty gets the loving, attentive, committed home that he deserves.

[Prin]

Yeah, labs are chewers and that is why there are usually tens of thousands of them on petfinder and in shelters. That's why I got two.

If you ever decide to try again, please research the breeds beforehand and if you don't want to deal with a puppy, get an older dog. There are so many who need homes.

[joeysmama]

Poor Matty :sad:

I hope that he goes to a home that apreciates and loves him lots. And I agree with Prin. Please research breeds if you decide you want to be an owner again, and consider an older rescue dog. You'll be able to get some feedback on their personality and energy levels before you make the committment.

[chico2]

I am sorry it's come to this for Matty:sad:
Would it not be nice if you could tell him,if you chew another wall,that's it for you,you're gone!
If he knew,this was it for him,he would stop..but unfortunately they don't understand.
You realize you will have to be truthful to any potential adopter,or in the end it will really be IT for him.

[Shamrock]

That is very sad. I know this is an extremely difficult situation for you.
As mentioned.. it will be necessary to be forthcoming and open about the reasons you are rehoming him.
It may be a real challenge to find the right home for him, I hope poor Matty can find this.

[Mom_Of_Two_Dogs]

Before you do give him up, try crate training and check out this link:
http://www.wonderpuppy.net/canwehelp/dbdestructive.htm

[rainbow]

DITTO to everything that everyone has said to you.

Please don't just dump him at a shelter as that will only add to his behaviour problem. And please be up front and truthful to potential new homes.

[Lissa]

Poor Matty. I am so sad that it has come to this. :sad: I hope you will find him the forever home he deserves.

[LL1]

Thats awful,what trainers did you work with and did you hear of crate training or doggy daycare when you arent home?Please do not get another pet.

[meb999]

That sucks. I hope Matty finds a home where they'll be willing to get him some professional help, although with the hundreds of 'easy' labs on petfinder and in rescues all over the country, I doubt it. He'll probably die because you didn't have the time or the patience for him. May everyone in your life show you so much loyalty. Please do not get another pet.

[mafiaprincess]

This is why my dog is crated when I am not home. I get to know she is safe, and I also know the house is safe.
I feel bad for Matty. He sounds liek a typical lab, and will doubtfully have much of a second chance with someone else. I ditto everyone else. Research or not, it's not fair to get another pet.

[kaytris]

http://www.lrro.on.ca/

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by meb999

Please do not get another pet.

I agree.
Sorry Matty.

[Puppyluv]

I just can't stop thinking about this thread
So many people have given such good advice. Tenderfoot gave more advice on Matty than on any other dog. If you look at your posts, you'll also see many people reply "I know what you mean, my dog is doing/did the exact same thing". But none of them ditched their dog at a year.
Matty is still so young, a one year old is smack dab in the middle of rebellion.
The only training you ever mentioned was obediance one. If it went so well, why not continue on? He probably liked having things to learn and practice. Labs are working dogs, and from the looks of it, he is an "American Lab" which means he has even more energy than the classic, stocky, "British Lab". I understand that you and your wife both work, but there are so many ways to exercise a dog when you are at work.. whether it be hiring someone, taking him somewhere, or coming home at lunch. I don't understand why you would get a lab puppy knowing that you couldn't (or rather, wouldn't) come home until the end of the day.
I know this is probably a lost cause, but I find it so upsetting, and I really think that there are so many things left to try. Please don't give up on Matty, how would you feel if the people you loved gave up on you whenever you didn't meet their expectations?:sad:

[badger]

Ditto. Sorry, sprayeddog, your comment that 'it's a 2-way street', which of course implies that you did your part and the DOG didn't step up, well, the premise is so flawed, I don't know where to begin.
There's no 2-way street, just you, with your expectations (which nobody here particularly reinforced, as far as I could tell), and Matty, who couldn't cut it.
The main thing I noticed in reading this thread is that you had few moments of real pleasure interacting with Matty, because you were too busy keeping score. And I think that's what defeated you in the end. Nobody can say you didn't try. But if there is no pleasure, or if the only pleasure (which naturally is communicated to the dog) is based on him 'stepping up', then I don't see the point.

[Prin]

Good posts, Badger and Puppyluv.

[jesse's mommy]

I just don't even know what to say. I jus can't believe you are giving up after all the advice that was given to you. Why are you so against the crate? Some dogs need it. Jesse needed it for about 8 months and we were able to slowly introduce her to new boundaries. I'm going to stop now because obviously this is useless. You've already made up your mind.

[phoenix]

jesse's mommy, your emoticon is expressing my feelings exactly. I can't believe I spent so much time posting to you, sprayeddog. As well as Lissa, and everyone else's advice...
anyway I'm thinking that this may be the best in the long run for Matty, as badger said, SD wasn't getting pleasure out of that relationship but I can't think that Matty was either.
Please contact lrro. Hopefully someone who understands the nature of dogs and labs in particular will show this boy what life's all about.

[Lucky Rescue]

Sorry, sprayeddog, your comment that 'it's a 2-way street', which of course implies that you did your part and the DOG didn't step up, well, the premise is so flawed, I don't know where to begin

That floored me too. A "2 way street" expectation is applicable in relationships between equals, not human beings and animals considering we're supposed to be the ones with the big brains. Very strange indeed....

[jesse's mommy]

Just one more question sprayeddog, why do you you feel Matty failed you? Why won't you realize and accept you failed Matty?

[tenderfoot]

I am sorry for you .
I am sorry for Matty.
If you have children I am very sorry for them.

One of the greatest benefits to having a dog in our lives is the joy it brings - but in addition to that it is the lessons they teach us. Patience, forgiveness, & unconditional love. If you have kids (sorry I don't remember) please think of what this teaches them. If they behave badly enough you will quit on them - love will not prevail - only predetermined limits will win out.

Was crate training so tough or unthinkable that getting rid of Matty is preferable?

It is best that he moves on. If the love had been great enough - all of our comments would be moot. He deserves better and I pray he gets it.

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

Sorry about Matty - I understand that some people give their pets away and others work find ways too make it work. I know I am guilty we gave our last dog away - I actually didnt want too - but eventually agreed with decision - which to this day I regret. Never again though I made it clear to my family that we would not again be giving away another pet. Its to painful for the dog and I still feel terrible about it. We have a new dog that is more suitable for us. He is not perfect and neither are we at training him he has issues with other dogs and can be moody too at times - he doesnt walk fast enough on walks and will steal food off the table when we are not looking oh and he chews not dry wall - but plastic and kids toys -

I am forever prying stuff out of his mouth. We still have pictures of Timber our old dog and I feel sad to look at them - dont think I will ever really get over us not learning to live with his particular personality. Also the kids keep asking to go get him and its been over a year - so if you do have kids that could be a factor too. Anyways good luck hope Maddy will find a good home.

[jesse's mommy]

But JECM, you are sticking to Joey and working with him and from your updates have made considerable progess. You are putting in the time and effort it takes to have and understand Joey.

[pitgrrl]

I'm not familiar with all you've been through with Matty, but from your post it sounds a lot like the first year (maybe two...) with my dogs. They destroyed everything, books, a couple of couches, walls, a mattress, the list just goes on and on. I had no idea what I was doing with 2, very high energy, adolesant dogs who were untrained and had pretty bad seperation anxiety.
The thing is though, as hard as it was, and as many times as I thought I should just give up, I am so happy I didn't. This will sound really cheesey, but please trust that it comes from someone who has experienced the complete destruction 2 dogs can cause to an apartement: As a dog owner you can not expect that the dog will know how to become the animal that is perfect for you, rather, it is your responsibility to become the owner that is perfect for your dog.

I can not think of anything more satisfying in my life than having worked through all my dogs issues, and truely, they have a bunch, as most do. There is really nothing that has taught me more than having to step up to the plate take responsibility for my dog's behaviors and well-being. It's too bad that you are taking away the potential for such a rewarding relationship.

[Joey.E.CockersMommy]

Thanks Jesses mommy - I just wanted to give a perspective from someone that did give away a pet and just how it affected us - I hate having to tell people that we gave him away - and thats another thing people will always ask you what happened - didnt you have another dog before.

[joeysmama]

My wife's already having depression, and I am close to losing my nerves.

Please don't be insulted by what I'm about to say. Be very very cautious about getting another pet. And if you don't already have children then please consider some counseling before you decide to start a family. I've had some very trying times with my pets, and I've also raised two children. If you lose your nerves with a pet and don't do a great job well it doesn't affect society all that much. And at least there is a chance (I really hope that Matty has a chance) that someone will come along who is better suited to their personality.

But believe me, with kids there are teachers, and homework, and sports and dance, and rooms to clean. And there is physical and moral danger. Hurt feelings. There are days where you'll wish that your biggest worry is that the kids will chew the drywall.

I'm not minimizing the importance of pets. My kids both say we favor Cooper over them.

But maybe before you think about another pet, and certainly children, you might want to have a serious discussion about what went wrong here with Matty.

And please let us know what happens. We would all love to hear that you've found him a loving home !!

[we3beagles]

The only thing wrong with Matty is you. People who have little time and patience for training should not get a dog. Unless you can communicate what is right and wrong to Matty it is not his fault he does what all puppies do. Mine went through 3 square feet of linoleum out of our kitchen and a bunch of drywall in our new house. We however, did enough research to realize that this was normal and how to get them to chew only their toys. If you leave a puppy alone they need to be in a crate. My dogs love their crates as they have plenty to keep them busy in there. There are puzzle balls and toys available to help them adjust. It doesn't sound like you have tried to help him at all as any good behaviorist could have told you that. If there is a rescue in your area please contact them for fostering or immediate adoption. I cannot imagine giving away a puppy for being a puppy. What happens if your kids wet the bed or break a heirloom vase. It is a little more socially unacceptable to give away the kids. If I sound a bit angry it's because I spent all day yesterday with a family that is giving away their dog because they don't have time for it now that the kids are born. You get really upset with the human condition when you see this on a weekly basis.

[BernerLver]

It's very unfortunate that the situation has come to this. I have been following your story and agree with the pp's that you have received copious amouts of excellent advice and suggestions.

Now I realize what I'm about to say may sound strange but have you ever considered the possibility that Matty needs some less "structured" time? In many of your posts you describe how you are always making him do commands etc. Have you considered the possibility that he needs time just to go crazy, run around and blow off some energy?

Bailey is also very high energy and when he stated to chew things I tried longer walks, more toys etc. I found that the thing that worked best was giving him off-leash "unstructured" time at the park before work on the days DH and I are on days. Maybe Matty just needs to "let loose" and relieve some excess energy.

I too work full time and commute to work as well. 5:00 is a VERY early time to get up each day but in my mind if it means my house is in tact when I return home, it's worth it.

[Puppyluv]

Originally Posted by BernerLver

I too work full time and commute to work as well. 5:00 is a VERY early time to get up each day but in my mind if it means my house is in tact when I return home, it's worth it.

I agree Berner! I start work on sundays at 5:30 am, which means I'm up walking Layla at 3:30 am (when everyone else is coming home from the bar). It's an ungodly hour, but it's essential. She NEEDS an hour walk in the morning or else it just woulnd't work, not to mention I would feel guilty as heck.