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Old August 18th, 2019, 04:39 PM
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BabyJessy BabyJessy is offline
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Right or wrong time to get a new dog?

We lost our sweet Pom Jessy this summer, but she had a great life and lived to 15. We will miss her always, no dog could replace her, but we are now feeling ready for a new dog. I have even located a Pom pup who feels "right". However, we have started to build a new house and we wonder if this is the right time for a new dog. We are hiring workers to build, but we do go back and forth to check on them and there are lots of errands to run. We would only move into the new house in January.

I would not bring a new pup to the building site but I would not be away for too long, however as most people who have built a house know - there will be problems and stress (it's inevitable). I wonder if we should wait to bring another dog into our lives after the house is ready and things are more settled and I could concentrate fully on the training, socializing, and education? Then another part of me is saying life is never perfect, and no time is ever perfect. I also feel that I might regret not adopting this particular little pup, but yes, other dogs will probably be available next year when our lives have calmed down.

Another thing bugging me is that I found this pup about 2 weeks ago and he still hasn't been adopted (he was born April 30) so he's getting close to 4 months old and still doesn't have a proper home. I need to make a decision. Sometimes I go check on the internet almost hoping he's no longer available - he'd have a home and wouldn't have this dilemma!!

I would appreciate your opinions and advice. Thanks!
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Old August 19th, 2019, 09:54 AM
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hazelrunpack hazelrunpack is offline
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Oy! Yeah, having a house built is stressful and time-consuming.

I think I'd be inclined to wait...but, being soft-hearted and emotional about dogs, my arm could be twisted if, in another month, say, the pup is still available. And probably, it would work out. But it would be an extra amount of stress for you guys.

What is it about this little guy that appeals to you? Is it just because you have room in your hearts for a new little one, or is there something in specific that speaks to you about this pup?
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Old August 21st, 2019, 03:01 PM
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The others were gorgeous but he was about a month older and seemed scared of the little ones. He hid behind my legs at one point. We are a quiet couple and i’ve always disliked rowdy people so I kind of understood him. I wanted to get him out of there. He also has colouring like our Jessy and I saw my husband tear up when he was holding him. He was very calm and content in our arms, no nipping at our faces or anything. But I sense he has already started getting attached to the older lady, the mother. I told him she should keep him but she said they needed to sell him.

There was also a younger female who was scared to come out from behind a table and seemed afraid of my husband at first (better with me) but she warmed up and was very sweet too. The younger ones spend most of their days in an ex pen so I guess I want to rescue them all!!!

My judgement is cloudy ...

It really would be better to wait. I won’t even have grass for a year. Oh why did I go there???!!!!
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Old August 21st, 2019, 05:31 PM
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Originally Posted by BabyJessy View Post
Oh why did I go there???!!!!
That is the exact same question I find myself in a position to ask! All the time!! I need to learn to turn away when the time isn't right, but it's just. so. hard.

You have a very good heart!
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Old August 22nd, 2019, 08:01 AM
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One thing though- when a pup is fearful, is that a good sign or a bad sign? For example, the little female was REALLY scared at first, hiding under an end table. I think the owner scooped her out. Will this be a dog that will become an anxiety biter like Jessy was? It was the one thing we didn’t like about Jessy (sorry Jessy but I gotta be honest!). It actually made our lives difficult. Like “oh what a sweet little dog you have!”, a hand comes at her, and she bites it. Plus, we travel to Maine a lot (shout out to the fantastic dog-friendly Inn by the Sea in Cape Elizabeth), but servers coming to our table, talking sweetly, should not be snapped at. Even if one gave her a cookie, or she had a zillion positive experiences, she was just never de-sensitized. I felt that apart from a lucky few humans, she just was not a people lover. Not sure why; she came to us at three months seemingly confident and happy, and she certainly wasn’t abused while with us, we never spent a night apart. Maybe a bad experience wherever she was up to her arrival at our home? Or just her DNA? Anyway, this is a characteristic we want to avoid if possible, it made things embarrassing and stressful for us. I wonder if fear of people at that young age is a sign of things to come....?

At the same time, I know that other families who are just buying these pups because they’re cute (like an article in a store) would just dispose of the dog if/when things become a bit difficult, instead of loving them in spite of a few faults, like we did. A part of me would bring home all the flawed ones and give them the best lives! Even if that caused my own life to suffer a bit. But that’s not realistic...

Some people are so “I want a dog like this and that” and I guess that’s Ok if it gets a dog adopted, but I would feel kind of egocentric doing that. I already feel guilty saying “I really want friendlier this time”! They are living things, not stuffed toys that exist to obey us and do everything the way we want.

Sorry to babble on..
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Old August 22nd, 2019, 08:13 AM
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i also never had such choice before! Jessy was a polished pearl in a sea of excited, bitey, jumpy puppies that we had waded through for a year. Just at that house of the “breeders”, there are at least three calmer sweet ones that I would have grabbed when I was looking for Jessy, seriously. This makes it even more difficult. Not used to choice. But I know there will be a litter next year, too. I am a bit afraid there might be some inbreeding (the family situation is a little worrisome) but apart from buying from a show-dog breeder ($5000) how can we ever know everything? If they are already on the earth, somebody has to take care of them!
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Old August 22nd, 2019, 08:44 AM
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BabyJessy - We've been in your dilemma before (getting a cat before renos are finished) and what a big heart you have.
Like Hazel says...there's never a perfect time....but we tend to work it out.
Good luck!
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Old August 22nd, 2019, 11:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyJessy View Post
One thing though- when a pup is fearful, is that a good sign or a bad sign?... Will this be a dog that will become an anxiety biter...? ... I wonder if fear of people at that young age is a sign of things to come....?
It isn't a guarantee one way or the other. If it's just a learned behavior, with gentle, careful socialization and introductions, you should be able to overcome shyness toward people. Our Macie was quite fearful and shy of people, having had a very isolated first year locked in a barn most of the time. After we adopted her, we'd try to teach her commands and her first response when she didn't know what was wanted of her, was to go catatonic, stiff-legged, head hanging. So there was no aggression, even though her anxiety was quite high. She responded well to gentle introductions, confidence-boosting exercises, and lots of loving. She became a happy, content little girl who was an excellent cuddler. Of course, we have no idea what she was like as a puppy...

Our first setter, Gauge, on the other hand, was prone to outbursts of aggression after about age 3. The funny thing is that Gauge did not show any fearfulness as a small pup. He was smart as a whip, curious, social, and didn't mind strangers. So you never can tell... It appeared to be a genetic thing--the breeder recognized it and shut down his breeding program voluntarily once he realized what was happening. But even Gauge's aggression proved to be manageable with a strict NILF protocol. And we were so lucky--shortly after Gauge started acting out, we inherited a very macho springer spaniel named Priscilla. Priscilla had evidently had a lot of brothers in the womb (all that testosterone...she's the only girl dog we've ever had who regularly lifted her leg to pee ) and took no guff from anyone. She read Gauge like a book, and even when his signals were too subtle for us to pick up, she knew he was getting ready to go ballistic and she'd take him down proactively. She kept him on the straight and narrow until he died at age 10 1/2 of something completely unrelated to his aggression. So it's possible to manage, but it wasn't very pleasant at times.

So it's basically a crapshoot. If it were me, though, I'd be looking for a more social, outgoing pup at the get-go. Again, it's no guarantee, but a more confident pup usually ends up as a more confident adult.
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Old September 4th, 2019, 11:30 AM
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BabyJessy BabyJessy is offline
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Jessy always lifted her leg....so you know the type of personality we lived with for almost 15 years!!
M
Anyway, I am trying to concentrate on the house building, which is basically an exercise in trying to solve a major problem each day without having a breakdown, and I am keeping my “need for a dog” in control and trying to wait until this is done! It would be best...
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Old September 4th, 2019, 08:34 PM
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hazelrunpack hazelrunpack is offline
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I hear ya about the house building. You just have to keep the final goal in mind while the hassle phase is ongoing... Are you still on schedule for moving in in January? We're going to need a photo-tour when it's finished, please!
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Old September 6th, 2019, 09:22 AM
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Yesterday the guys made some big mistakes with windows (my kitchen counter would have been 3 inches higher than my kitchen window?!). It made me realize we HAVE TO be there. It takes us 2 hours to clean their mess everyday. There is mud everywhere. I won’t have grass for a year. The driveway is muck and rocks battered by delivery trucks. No, I’m glad now that I resisted the new pup temptation because this is really not a good time, not for us and we would not be able to provide the best for the new dog. It wouldn’t be fair to him or her.
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Old September 12th, 2019, 10:28 AM
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I once met a dog when everything in my life was very bad. I had to move from an ex-boyfriend, I haven't yet found a new apartment and lived with my parents. I met the most beautiful puppy, I immediately realized that I had to adopt him. He was so mine that I simply couldn't imagine that he would live in a shelter or that he would be adopted by other people. It was difficult to find an apartment with a pet, but I was lucky. I can’t imagine how I would live without him, most likely I would have been apathy for a long time, but my dog helped me get out of this state. Therefore, I believe that you do not need to choose the perfect time, you just need to find your dog.
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