I am uneasy with my neighbour...need some advice

[Love4himies]

You did the right thing, dogcatharmony . You have to do what you must to protect your dog

[Chris21711]

Good for you, what audacity walking in and out of your yard whenever she feels like it. I think it best you say nothing about talking to the Police, you can consider it the Ace up your sleeve.

[lotus]

Originally Posted by Chris21711

I think it best you say nothing about talking to the Police, you can consider it the Ace up your sleeve.

I totally agree keep that to your self. Or who knows what she'll do knowing her maturity level.

[14+kitties]

Good girl!! You did what you needed to do to protect Zoe. Now let's hope between now and spring she learns a little maturity. Although don't discount the winter encounters. You may shovel snow too far on her side or something equally as ridiculous! It's always good to know what your rights are.

[Gypsyhick]

A big round of applause!!!

[JennieV]

YEY!
I am sooo happy that you actually got your courage together and did this! This will prove to be a good thing, as I don't think she will stop her childish and silly behaviour. But having done this first, you have protected yourself and your dog from anything funky on her side. And its great that you had company, because that way, you didn't come across as a "weird lady with a dog problem".
I agree, don't tell her about the police meeting, just keep an eye, and the next time she is on your property - call them! you have given her a fair warning by sending her a registered letter...Maybe she doesn't think you are serious enough, but if she continues - she should be told otherwise.
Good job! And I hope things will work out!!

[chico2]

This is the first I read of your problems and how frustrating it must be.
As an example,we had a lady move in across the street,she was sending threatening notes to everyone up and down the street.
Telling us she is an arsonist,that we are all evil etc...
I kept the notes from several of the neighbors and called the police.
They told us to to keep a diary of what she does,that so far she's done nothing illegal.
It turns out she is schizophrenic(sp???)and was off her meds,now she is fine on her meds.But it was scary,knowing she was out there at night doing things.
This neighbor of yours must be somehow mentally deranged,no sane person would do what she is doing..so please be very careful and watch Zoe like a hawk.

[Tundra_Queen]

Hi

I was wondering if u have put a No Trepassing sign on your property? That way if she comes across onto your yard again you could call the police for tresspass. Also, I hope u put up the Beware of Dog sign too.

This lady is nuts and I think she is getting off on making trouble and the drama she is causing.

I hope u can figure out a way to fix this....maybe see a lawyer? people have a right to have a peaceable existance in their home and since she has moved in, it sounds like u haven't had one.

Just a thought.

[kandy]

I'm so glad you reported her. Not that I expected them to do anything about it, but now you are on record as having complained and if something were to happen, they will have the history to look at.

I'll cross my fingers that you don't have to deal with this psycho til spring - and that you have the fence put up before then!

[eander]

well!!! lol I have a boxer...the sweetest, loving creature to all, but you dont have to tell the neighbors that, put me on the list , we'll come visit hehe

[jealma]

I have read this post from beginning to end. I'm glad you took a step to protect yourself, and I"m looking forward to seeing some great fence pictures. It's a shame we get stuck with who ever move in next door, and it's a shame this woman is poisoning her childs mind with irrational thinking. I wish the best for you and your dog and I do hope that come next summer you will get to enjoy your yard to it's fullest.

P.s my dog is just a small shih tzu,, but back yard party sounds like a lot of fun.

[MIA]

Good for you!!!! I am glad you went as it's now on record if she does anything to you. Wait to see if she comes on your property and politely ask her to leave and from there on to utilize the phone or your front door and point out just because you don't have a fence that it doesn't mean she is welcome to just walk onto your property. I do like the idea of no trespassing sign.

[14+kitties]

Bump. Just want to see how things are going for you.

[Guinness' mom]

Originally Posted by Kahne9Lover

I'd buy her one of those kid "leashes" and tell her, if it works for my dog, maybe it'll work for your kid. Have some other neighbors over for a BBQ and then tell her to put her kid in the house because HE is causing YOU problems. The other neighbors can act as your witnesses that you have asked her not to allow the child in your yard. She is such a

OMG that almost made me pee myself
She sounds like a real WACK JOB!!!! I think basically your up *****s creek without a paddle on this one. You would THINK if she is such a DOG hater she would have had her real-estate agent found her a nice "padded cell" to live in. If I were you I would just get a prescription for Valium or something and keep her sedated.

[bj601]

Dogcatharmony, I just read this whole thread. You have my deepest sympathies in dealing with this nut. We have another name for them, we call them entitlement princesses and the whole world revolves around them. Most looking to buy a house and not liking dogs would check out the neighbors/neighborhood and if the neighbors had dogs or the neighborhood was full of dogs would move on looking for something else. She has a different view in that you should accommodate her and get rid of your dog to suit her. The neighborhood to change to suit her. We have dealt with a few of these over the years.

We have this type next door to us. Luckily for us, we figured this out as they were moving in and don't play the game. We haven't actually spoken to them since they moved in over a a year ago and are quite happy to keep it that way. We did have 4 dogs when they moved in, a border collie, a great dane, a mini snauzer mutt and a shih tzu. They aren't dog people heck they aren't even people people lol. She likes to make passive aggressive comments when she "thinks" we aren;t listening. WE ignore her and life goes on as usual. Since they have moved in, the dane and the border collie have gone to the bridge and all we have are the 2 little dogs. She quite often makes comments about little dogs are useless, all they do is yap, why would anyone williingly get a little dog etc. My shih tzu only barks when someone comes to the door and the other little guy rarely leaves the house, I don;t even think she has ever seen him (he is 13 and thinks our soul purpose in life is to provide his every comfort lol. He doesn;t like to go for walks, the fire hydrant if more than far enough, and if it is snowing forget it, his paws might get wet lol. The bed is not for people to sleep in, but he will allow it begrudgingly). Anyways, her comments make me laugh. I have a friend that breeds chihuahuas and I keep threatening to have a puppy party with her in the backyard lol.

I would say at this point, she is not going to change and her ultimate goal in llife is for you to not have a dog. I would tell her not to step foot on your property ever and if she does need to communicate with you to do it in writing from now on. Then ignore her. Go about your life as if she is not there. Do not change what you do for her. If she is having a barbecue then it is her problem if she is bothered by the fact that you actually want to use your own backyard at the same time. Of course, wwe have a fence so it makes this practise alot easier.

As for putting in the posts, our house is built on alot of clay too. When we had to dig holes for the posts for our front porch we used an ice auger (it is used for drilling holes in the ice for ice fishing). It was the same width as the sono tubes we were using and actually worked better than a hole digger. Didn't damage it at all and my boss actualy borrowed it when he was putting up a fence. You could try getting your hands on one of those. Trust me, a fence makes dealing with them a WHOLE lot easier. We also used 4 x 8 lattice panels, trimmed out with 1 x 2's to give us some privacy in parts of the garden as our fence is chain link. You can either use them side ways or turn them upright and have vines climbing up them. We got around the height requirement of 7 feet cause they are trellises, not a fence and we only did that in one spot to keep the neighbor's kid from jumping the fence repeatedly.

Brenda

[Pat in NH]

You don't need to spend more than $100 getting some 3 foot or 4 foot wire fencing, and some metal stakes. Put the fence at least at the part of the yard that the little boy enters through. Spending this time and money is well worth the comfort it'll give both sides. Your neighbor is obviously beyond being rational and reasonable, and may have had a terrible experience when a child herself. But don't be afraid to stick up for yourself and your dog. Your neighbor is bullying you! Good Luck!

[rainbow]

I'm finally getting caught up around here after being MIA for awhile.

Glad you got everything documented with the police and you have neighbours to back you up. I agree with Chris and would not let your nutjob neighbour know that you have a complaint filed.

I'm sure you haven't seen the last of this nutjob.......good luck with future encounters.

[JennieV]

dogcatharmony, how are you doing? how is Zoe doing?? I hope all is ok.

[Laylapet]

You should talk to a lawyer who specializes in such things - namely, animal law and/or property law.

I am a law student, and although I don't know Canadian law very well, I can tell you that it's not likely to be on your side if something were to happen. Even if the child is "trespassing," if the dog bites him you'd be liable.

I would do everything possible to get a sturdy fence up, tell the woman that any entry on your property not specifically authorized by you will be considered trespassing, and don't hesitate to back that up. If you have to put up a temporary fence - do it. It will be a lot more expensive if something happens and you get sued.

Also, even though she's done nothing criminal so far, that does not mean that civil remedies might not be available to you. There are nuisance laws most everywhere, though I don't know the sum and substance of them where you live. Might be worth looking into.

Finally, be careful about putting up "beware of dog" signs. In some places these can be an admission that the dog is dangerous, and if you were to end up in court you don't need that. Check out the laws where you live.

[dogcatharmony]

Well we have been having a nice quiet time, nobody outside at all until this afternoon when her hubby came out to mow the lawn, He doesn't even look my way so I don't need to worry about him. Both Zoe and I have been getting lots of sunshine, so nice that both of us prefer the cooler weather and enjoy the fall. Zoe is more spunky now that she can go outside from the minute she wakes up untill bed time (if she pleases). I have been a heck of lot more relaxed

I did put up a NO Trespassing sign on the side of my house that faces their yard. It is quite obvious that it means them. I had the meter reader(public utilities worker) laugh at me, the sign is right above the meter, she said "thought you put that up so you would'nt get a bill" I only wish....LOL!!

I do know that my peace could end at any minute, they still have some summer stuff that needs to be put away out in the yard......but hopefully that will be quick and painless.

So it has been not to bad this month. I sure hope it contines this way until spring, I am still quite nervous at having to say that I went to the police and made a formal complaint.

Thanks again for all the support and advice. It's still mind-boggling that I put up with that all summer, but a lesson learned.

Oh and Laylapet, I put off going to the police to long. They told me that if I would have called the night she was wandering around my back yard, they would have had means to speak to her because of public mischief. I also have a Dog on Premises sign in my window instead of a "BEWARE" sign, already had a police officer explain the difference to me.

She is just a busy-body, I do like how Bj601 put it.....entitlement princess........hit the nail on right on the head with that one

[babymomma]

Its nice to know that everything is going pretty good for you..Still becarefull when it comes to this crazy woman. She is obviously unstable, and it sounds to me that there would be a higher chance of gettin' bit by this woman then by your dog. lol... I reeeaaally can't stand this woman, and i havent even met her! I can only im,agine your feelings towards her... I accually pity her a little, she will never know the true joys an animal an bring, whether it be a pitbull or a chi-chi. She is nothing but a childish, unstable ***** Disturber! (Pardon my french)

[dbg10]

Hi dogcatharmony

I just saw this thread today and as usual I am late.. I was going to post a similar thread about my neighbour and my cats! I will post it elsewhere.

You have bent over backwards for this person and done everything you possibly can to keep the peace. As many have said, I doubt that anything will change no matter how much you do. Even if you didn't have a dog, she would have a problem with something you did. Sounds like it is both her and her husband that are nuts, so the only thing I can see you doing is resigning yourself to having nutbar neighbours.

From what you have said throughout this, I think we are very much alike, right down to feeling that the police have better things to do and feeling guilty when I talk to them, especially if there is no reason for it. I feel so badly for you suffering all the stress of having this nutjob of a neighbour. I know how much my situation has taken out of me, and can only imagine what it has taken out of you. I avoid confrontation like the plague.

Zoe is also probably reacting to your stress level when this crazy is around. If you are like me, you go outside to have a nice relaxing time and find yourself all uptight just waiting for the neighbour and her offspring to show up. That is the worst part of having a neighbour who is nuts.

I think you need a sign at both your front and back door that says "Beware of Dog" in some way or "Dog lives here". BrightEyes's mentioned this sign "Nevermind the dog, beware of the owner!". I had a sign that said almost exactly that, which I purchased where they sell all sorts of signs. Maybe if you look in a large pet store you can find a sign that says something non-threatening like "Dog Inside". We are required here to have a sign and I know of at least one instance in my city where the sign saved the animals during a fire, because the firemen found out there were animals and went looking for them.

I see everyone giving you ideas on how to spend money to deal with this problem. Build a fence, hire a lawyer, go to court etc., and I'm sure you haven't the money for most of them. It makes me sick that you have to spend money to keep this person and her child out, without her feeling some of the financial pain. As a fence is an excellent idea to keep Zoe safe, I definitely agree with that idea.

Here in Ajax, we have fencing bylaws that apply to fences that divide two properties. The Bylaw requires the neighbour to pay 1/2 of the fence costs. We have to have 3 estimates done by fencing contractors, then send a copy of the bylaw and the estimates to my neighbour by registered mail 14 days prior to beginning the work. (If I got along with them, then handing it to them and discussing the fence would work) If they refuse to pay, then I am supposed to send them a registered letter with another copy of the bylaw, requiring them to pay their half. The three estimates are so that together we can choose the contractor and control the price. If they still refuse to pay, you get the work done, and then send another registered letter with a copy of the bylaw with the costs detailed to the defaulting neighbour demanding payment. If they do not pay within 30 days then you file an affidavit in court to recover the 50% from the defaulter. I found out that this is an Ontario Law, not local. Filing the affidavit in court can be done by you at the courthouse for a minimal fee.
You could do all this by mail without speaking to her about it. I really object to you having to pay for the entire fence when it is her fault you have to install it. Make her PAY for all the aggrevation she has given you and Zoe

You should be able to get all the info you need on the city website. They usually have these bylaws online and you can just print it off. I would look up all the bylaws pertaining to animals, fences and everything else on the website for your city. That way you will be fully informed about the laws regarding all the issues you bring up here.

About the actual fence:
Asian posted pictures of the spikes that go into the ground to hold the posts. I have had those posts holding up a 28 ft section of fence for 17 years now without a problem. The soil here is mostly clay.

I am so glad you finally were able to go to the police You now have it on record that she is a nutbar. I would have the neighbour who knows the policeman who just moved into the neighbourhood, introduce you to him. I'm sure he would be happy to support you in this. I honestly think getting together with your neighbours that have dogs is great Keep them in the loop about all her contacts, that way you may be able to get a case against her, that you can take to the police.

She sounds like she has been on everyone's case in the neighbourhood who have dogs. I really doubt her issue is with Zoe, it seems to me she just likes to cause trouble with her neighbours. I suspect if you get together with your neighbours you can put together a plan to deal with her as a group. If you get together with the others you may be able to get her to move away

I have a couple of suggestions for you that may or may not be practical. I would phone my local Humane Society, animal control, SPCA, and even the Bylaw office and tell them what is happening and ask them how to handle this. If nothing else, they will probably make a record of it and help you if something does happen (what a horrible thought) or if she decides to start calling them about Zoe. I know when I make a complaint I find it much easier to deal with them over the phone than in person. Also it would probably be a good idea to make sure your vet knows about it. Just my

Last but not least, is she abusing that little child of hers. She put her/him in the window ...that's dangerous! If you suspect she is then a call to Children's Aid might also be a good idea.

I wish you all the best of luck with this and hope it ends soon for you.

[14+kitties]

Good advice dbg10 except for this.........
I would have the neighbour who knows the policeman who just moved into the neighbourhood, introduce you to him. I'm sure he would be happy to support you in this.

If DCH should happen to meet this neighbour and the conversation about the should happen to come up and then he decides to support her, good for her. Let the man have his privacy when he is at home. I am sure he would love to leave his job at the job.

[dbg10]

Originally Posted by 14+kitties

Good advice dbg10 except for this.........
I would have the neighbour who knows the policeman who just moved into the neighbourhood, introduce you to him. I'm sure he would be happy to support you in this.

If DCH should happen to meet this neighbour and the conversation about the should happen to come up and then he decides to support her, good for her. Let the man have his privacy when he is at home. I am sure he would love to leave his job at the job.

I said that wrong 14+, that's not what I meant. What I was thinking was she (like me) has trouble approaching new people. If she were introduced by someone she already knows, then she at least will know who he is and what he is like and they may even become friendly. I didn't mean that she should go and talk to him about the problems she has with her neighbour, just to meet him.

I know from experience that policemen/women like to know who their neighbours are. I know that I have a lot less trouble now, approaching police or making a complaint to them since one moved into my neighbourhood and came by to introduce himself and let us know where he lived. I can appreciate that he doesn't want to hear all the gossip and neighbour problems when he is off duty, he sees enough of it when on duty. But whether DCH says something to him about her neighbour or not, I expect he will hear about it from others, especially when she has already made a complaint at the station.

[dogcatharmony]

I have an update and it's a positive one......a really good one. I have to say it's the kind of positive outcome that I like better than involving police and hard feelings .....still doesn't stop me from putting up a fence next year, still doesn't mean I am all buddy buddy and not put my guard down, but at least a little fella gets a chance at not hating dogs.

Last weekend I had the hubby come over to talk with me while I was mowing my lawn. Shocked me because he does not talk at all, but I have to say I was wrong about him. He may not have been talking but he was watching all along. He told me that he doesn't want his son being afraid of dogs like his wife. Although he doesn't know anything about dogs he said that he doesn't think Zoe is a bad dog and she seems to listen well. He understood that our neighbourly relationship was not a good one, and was a little shocked at the length I had gone to, but seemly got the jist of it and why I was concerned. He agreed things had gotten a bit out of hand.

I have to say that I was extremely hesitant just from all the b.s. over the summer. I am not really a "people" person, but hearing the little guy calling ooooeeee awwgy.........well I really can't be ticked at a one year old with a paranoid parent.

So........MY rules, My yard (which needs to be entered and exited by the driveway) My time and absolutely what I say goes NO arguements.........the little guy got to meet Zoe.

It's been a week and I have to say tonight was the best. He got to play throw the ball and hope that Zoe fetched......which she did and even dropped it on command. He can't throw the ball father than his feet, but Zoe gets her "wait" "ready" command, she started off waiting about 10 feet away then moved up to about five feet away, she asks "woof" for the ball to be thrown, the little fella drops the ball, Zoe waits until I kick the ball and she fetches and brings it back, then runs back to her "waiting" position and woofs again. I have to say the kid is easy to deal with, Zoe barks, he kinda staggers back and looks at you, say throw the ball and he is all giggles and does his little throw.

35 mins of fun later.....Zoe is pooped, the kid is pooped, I was knelt down kinda holding the kid by the middle and Zoe gives him a sniff and a kiss and runs up the back stairs and sits at the door. I said "Zoe has to go eat supper and go to bed" , the mom says "totally unbelieveable". No not unbelievable, she is a good dog, and the more you get to know her you will see, and she will see that there is no threat. As long as there is SUPERVISION, and stress the supervision part.....the little fellow and dog can get along. She even stood by Zoe once and let her sniff her, and she even threw the ball a few times. She's not 100% sure on herself or how to act , and I can in a way respect that. I don't know why she doesn't like dogs. I'm not 100% sure of how to handle a child either, or how to totally deal with an adult that I have had problems with. So we are both learning. The easy thing is all of us baby and dog included understand "NO".....the dog stops, the baby stops and the mom stops, I get to stop and explain myself.

The mom asked me if it was nice tomorrow if we could do this again in the afternoon. ........I had to say yes, watching Zoe play and seeing the little guy happy......well that's a good thing. Mom and I working out our issues, good as long as the rules are followed. So far, so good, it's been a week and some things have had to be said over and over, but I would like to think there is a bit of trust devolping.

I'm still putting up a fence so that I am 100% sure that Zoe is safe but if the little fellow wants to play well then let him learn that dogs aren't as scary as his mom thinks they are. Maybe we will all get something out of it.

[aslan]

oh yaaaaay that is excellent news, i'm more impressed that the mom is even participating. She may surprise you alot. Could be something happened to her concerning a dog, something parents taught her, but hey atleast she's trying. And Zoe is such a good girl, i love when our babies teach people stuff. Good for you and Zoe.

[Chris21711]

That is great news dogcatharmony, I had been wondering how it had transgressed. It's crummy being on bad terms with your neighbour and a pity that the mother got off to a bad start.

I think you handled it great

[MIA]

That is the best news I have read in a long time! YAY Zoe!!! YAY YOU! and Yay for a child for teaching some adults that life can be wonderful and fun. Wishing you more success!!!

[dogcatharmony]

I have to say I am totally shocked the mom is participating also. Started of with the dad, and then the grandparents (they were visiting for three days during the week) and then the mom. She blew my socks off asking if we could do it again tommorow.

I have to say the grandmom (don't know if it was her mom or the dad's mom) had a big part in how we got this far. That woman was awesome. She had questions and her own observations that she wasn't shy to express ( not only on the dog issues, but on the over all parenting of the child while he was outside) She was on the mom about not letting the kid run all willy-nilly and wait until the "danger" zone was an inch away before reacting. I even sat down and had a beer with the grandparents, they were excellent people. I imagine other stuff was said "indoors" but I got my issues across to them. They are country people, shared their stories about all the wild life experiences and how they manage to get along with bears stealing their garbage and roaming around but still living among it and being safe for both the bears and themselves. They were definitly my kind of people.....so who knows what was said.

If it can make for good neighbours, I am all for it. I still get a bit nervous thinking about it, but so far our play dates have been out of the blue. I know I can't be nervous, Zoe would pick that up in an instant. I got a bit nervous tonight, the little fellow asked for "up" and I have no real kid experience.........I told myself focus, pick him up and tell Zoe to find the ball. Picked him up, zoe got the ball and the kid pulled my hat off and asked down .....and the game continued. Simple.....just not use to it. I got my confidence back after that, the mom let me pick her boy up without a peep with my dog right infront of me........progress......I can do this.

[hazelrunpack]

Wow, that is a so much better update than I expected (I peeked in here with and half-wincing)... Both child and mom getting some good training in dealing with dogs and diplomacy! Good job, dogcatharmony!!