#1
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Diary
THE DOG'S DIARY
> >8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! > >9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! > >9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! > >10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! > >12:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing! > >1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! > >3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! > >5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing! > >6:00pm - Agility class! Truly my favorite thing! > >7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! > >8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! > >11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! > > >THE CAT'S DIARY > >Day 983 of my captivity. > >My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. > >They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed >hash >or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations >perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my >strength. > >The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to >disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse >and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike >fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. >However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little >hunter" I am. >*******s! > >There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed >in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could >hear >the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to >the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it >to >my advantage. > >Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my >tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this >again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. > >I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. >The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to >be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. > >The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards >regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have >arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. > >For now, Kitty |
#2
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I've always suspected that's the way cats think...
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#3
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I liked that.
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#4
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Very cute.
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