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cas's week memory
Hi it's Cheryl, It has now been a week today since my baby girl cassy passed on and to make matters worse it is also my husbands birthday, needless to say not much celebrating has been done today. I alway's get him special cards from our animals and i had already bought one for cas to give him before she died(even our animals that have passed still send cards to us we just say on the card that it has been sent all the way from heaven), what was more upsettin was that the card for mark was a cairn terrier puppy and it looked exactly like our cassy when she was a baby which made me cry. I've tried my hardest all day not to cry just so mark could have a good birthday as it's also his first birthday without his mam as she passed last year, my two girls and mark and i had planned to go out for a meal weeks before so i decided not to spoil this for him. Once in the restaurant emotion and guilt came over me straight away, i tried my hardest not to cry but the more i tried the worse i felt. In the end i was crying on and off and couldn't eat hardly anything cause normally when we eat out we used to keep a steak or some sort of meat to take home to cas and this was the first time we had been out without going home to her. We still decide to keep her some meat and when we arrived home we went out into the garden and buried the meat on top of her grave, i know this sounds mad but at the moment it's doing what we used to when she was alive is the only thing keeping me going. I feel so horrible for spoiling his day cause he is my life even though he says i haven't, mark is my rock at the moment and even though he is hurting bad he is being so good to help me try and get through this. I seem to be going down hill and crying alot again, i know that i will get thruogh this but at the moment is seems so far away and depressing.I'm sorry for sounding like a moan and i know that there are people out there who are worse off than me but i am so low today.
In memory of my little tinker cas, mammy and daddy love and miss you so badly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx R.I.P all the animals on this site who have sadly passed and be happy and safe all the mammy and daddy's of those baby's xxxxxx |
#2
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i am so sorry it will get better though it doesnt seem that way now
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#3
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It's only been a week. This is still such a fresh hurt. Give yourself some time--you're allowed to grieve and things will get better...you just have to work through it. Eventually the happy memories will come back to make you smile--I promise!
__________________
"We are--each of us--dying; it's how we live in the meantime that makes the difference." "It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived!" "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." |
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