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You need to give away two of your cats
Yes, there it is. Once again I've been blessed with the unsolicited opinion of someone who thinks they know how I should live my life better than me.
I've been stewing over this for days. Trying to get it out of my mind, but today I can't get it out of my head. I made the mistake of leaving my anxiety pill at home and that's not helping. My best friends husband works for a kitchen cabinet company. Now and then they have samples they just toss. I asked him a couple of weeks ago if they had any I might be able to use under the stairs for a litter keeper. I made the huge mistake of asking him on Saturday, while we were sitting down for dinner. We were at an arts festival, he'd been drinking a bit, so of course he felt the need to tell me how I should live my life and what I should do with my huge amount of cats. "You need to give away two of your cats. a 1,000 square foot apartment isn't big enough for 4 cats." "They're going to start getting old and sick." "You're going to wind up spending too much money on them." If it weren't for the fact his kids were there I'd have told him he needed to cut one of his and shut up and mind his own business. But since his kids were there I just smiled and told him just because he hated cats didn't mean he had to tell me what to do with mine. And to just tell me if he had any cabinets and to leave the speech for someone who would listen. My friend kept telling him to shut up and to stop upsetting me. Finally thank goodness he did. When they dropped me off I said "Bye cat hater." Now all I'm thinking about is if my cats are happy. My apartment isn't huge, but it's not tiny either! I don't know the exact square footage, but I think they're all comfortable. They have space to run around. Places to hide, places to be alone or just do whatever. Here's a shot from the corner: Here's a shot from the entrance: I've got room enough for two living areas and a dining room Here's the bedroom from the corner:
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There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ |
#2
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If I wanted to I could easily fit a king size bed and have plenty of room for a dresser and armoirer(I know I totally misspelled that), nightstand and not feel confined.
My bathroom where I keep their big litter box I'm just so angry! I talked to his best friend, who I know as well, and the first thing he asked me was if he was drinking, because he always says stuff like that when he's been drinking. Yes, he was drinking, but that's no excuse to be hurtful. I'm angry and now I'm afraid my babies aren't happy because my apartment might not be big enough for them. Now I just wish I'd stayed home and not gone to the arts festival with them.
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There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ Last edited by ancientgirl; February 18th, 2008 at 01:40 PM. |
#3
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Why does this man's opinion mean so much to you?
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#4
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awwww ancient
U know, even tho I think u shouldnt give a rats a** bout this guy's opinion I sometimes share ure concern thinking maybe I should have less cats, too little space ( I only have 2) but the fact of the matter is they are not in eachother's faces, there are no fights (little 'who's boss'/ rough wrestling is normal) and theyre alll perfectly healthy. Seriously, just look at the pics u recently posted on the photo subforum and tell me those aren't happy cats? Just ignore that loser, I have many ppl tell me the same because of my asthma. Someone even told me to "throw the cats out". |
#5
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I wouldn't give his comments a second thought! You know your cats are content - he sure doesn't! If he has a problem - it's his problem so I wouldn't let him make you accept any part of it!
Phooey on him
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Bobby - June 15/04 - Aug 30/11 Amber 6.5 yr Golden girl Shadow 9 yr rumpy black ManxX boy |
#6
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It doesn't matter. But his words are just running around in my head like a bad song and I can't get rid of them. I keep telling myself he doesn't know diddly, he doesn't live with us, but my worry-wart personality is making it hard.
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There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ |
#7
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Quote:
It just makes me so angry when people feel they have to give you their opinion, like they know so much
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There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ |
#8
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Quote:
What the heck does he know?
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There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ |
#9
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First of all - your apartment is HUGE ! And gorgeous. I love it.
Secondly - the man is an ignorant fool - a drunk one at that - who doesn't care for cats at the best of times by the sounds of it - and was choosing to run off at the mouth. Please ignore him, and go on just loving on your cats.
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Kashi & Hubby Boo (6), Bug (4), Bear (2) Pugsley Bo Butterscotch Burbel Grey |
#10
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Quote:
Yup I have been told that since i live alone i shouldnt have a pet ive been told since i smoke i shouldnt have a pet ive been told since i live in an apartmen i shouldnt have a pet and at least three rescues rejected me cause my last cat died and i didnnt to a post mortem If i listened to all of these I wouldnt hve my beautifull DU and i would be lonely so screw em only yu can decided how many and if they are happy they seem damn happy to me |
#11
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Quote:
He really isn't a pet person. My best friend, I love her dearly, but she's not into anything that she has to trouble her self with. Heck, half the time she doesn't even want to deal with her kids. They had a cat, it was hers, and they kept it outside for the last few years. He kept peeing on the couch, after they'd brought her sisters cat to their house. They didn't really try to remedy the situation with anything other than putting him outside where he got mauled the first month by some dog. He survived, but spent the next several years from one sickness to another, and they still kept him outside. So they really aren't pet people, and I know my friend doesn't understand my complete love and adoration for my cats. But at least she shuts her mouth up about it. I just need to fumigate my brain of his words.
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There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ |
#12
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If they weren't happy, they wouldn't look so healthy. I think a big part of a cat's health has to do with how happy they are. They eat well, they play with each other, they have no problems.
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There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ |
#13
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If you keep worrying about some drunken schmoe's opinion, YOU will get sick.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
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Sandy Belle Sheeba - born 11/14/07 at 12:30 pm Linx Jasper |
#14
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Quote:
They're happy, I know they are.
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There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ |
#15
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Close your eyes, concentrate. Put the guy's words into balloons which then inhale and float away. Got to have focus, but it does work.
Either that or imagine an object that has meaning. Could be anything as long as you say this thing goes with that. For that guy it could be a doll or figurine. Mentally place it into a huge chest that has a heavy lid, lock it up, turn around and walk away. And remember some people who drink, it's only liquid bravery that lets them feel more free to say certain things. And really, the painful sh they verbally spew is really an indication of a deeper problem that is bothering them. Some call this "mirroring," meaning they put something onto another person that's really something originating from within. They end up feeling better by inflicting pain onto someone else. So it's not you, it's them. You choose whether to allow it to bother you.
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Sandy Belle Sheeba - born 11/14/07 at 12:30 pm Linx Jasper |
#16
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Oh ancientgirl you are such a sweet heart no wonder those words hurt you. There will always be some dumb schmuck who thinks they know better than you, just know you are doing the best for those kitties and they have a great life
Gee wiz though, if 1000 sq ft isn't enough room for 4 cats what would he think of me in my house of 320 sq ft (probably as big as your bed room ) and two cats and a big dog (plus 4 chickens, but they live in the shed, thank dog!)
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Magnolia (aka Nolie) - 6 yrs old, adopted May 3, 2009 - mixed breed monster mutt R.I.P. Chloe - my first Golden girl - we said goodbye but you will always be here (1994-2007 adopted April 2000) R.I.P. Molly - my Golden girl, who's causing havoc over the bridge now - (1999-2009 adopted May 2007) and love for my "lost ones" - Misery, Clover & the girls (chickens) |
#17
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About the mirroring? They have 2 kids. He's probably wishing he could give them away, I know his wife, my friend sometimes thinks that way. She hates herself for thinking it, but she does.
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There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ |
#18
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yeah I agree......4 cats is way too much....
............2 of them need to come live with ME I think the kittens need to go my mom thinks 2 cats and a rabbit is too much....wait....she thinks TWo cats is too much |
#19
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All my cats have ever known is being inside, except the occasional trip to the vet's office. And now I live in a bigger place than I was living in. So at least for Vlad and Oksana, the new place is like an extra world.
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There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ |
#20
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You'll be prying those kittens from my cold dead hands Missy!
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There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ |
#21
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OH your place looks plenty big enough for 4 cats !! I think I remember when you first moved in and you were concerned about the loft. Didn't you post these pictures then? And you installed a pretty lattice work wall?
You obviously care about your cats health and safety. This guy is just a busy body. Ignore him. I was just telling my husband a story the other night about our neighbors SIL who gave me a lecture about how I should raise my children. Well our kids are grown and mine turned out great !! Her family is a mess, in my opinion. Unless your cats have tons of stuff I think you're fine. Did they move in with big wardrobes, exercise equipment, fax machines etc. ??? Or are they your basic bare naked kitties with a couple bowls and a litterbox? Maybe a toy or two? Next time he tells you that your apt. is too small tell him you have an architect coming to give you an estimate on an addition. |
#22
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ehh...thought i'd try
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#23
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Ancientgirl,you are waaay to sensitive,you know your cats have a wonderful life,could not have it any better..
Never ever let some drunken fool bother you,what the heck does he know. Someone should just TRY to tell me how to care for my cats,especially a drunk,he would have an earful.
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"The cruelest animal is the Human animal" 3 kitties,Rocky(r.i.p my boy),Chico,Vinnie |
#24
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what a jerk. He obviously hates cats... your place is not that small, I have a dog and 3 cats in a house that isn't much bigger than yours. Also, I lived in an apartment once with 3 cats - it was a very small apartment, only two rooms, and my BF and I lived there too. Cats don't need THAT much space, esp if they have places to climb and hide, like a cat tree.
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http://www.catster.com/cats/702907 http://www.catster.com/cats/703259 http://www.catster.com/cats/703269 http://www.dogster.com/dogs/669963 |
#25
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ancientgirl,
As many others have said....ignore this guy! and any others who tell you how many or what kind of critter to care for as you do. I have some that shake their heads at me....you may remember, I have more than you do. My house is no bigger than your apartment. Fortunately none have had the guts to say to my face - Get rid of some! Because I would say back (not ever meaning it) which one(s) would you like to adopt??? There are days I feel bad that these guys all have to share such a small place with as crazy a mom as I am - but they seem to love it. Well, they don't know anything else. I wouldn't have this many if circumstances had been different, but "most" days I love it just as it is. Ignore those that don't understand and don't care - they just like to hear themselves speaking. Diane
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Josh Billings |
#26
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you need to just take three deep breaths in.. letting all positive energy envelop you.. and let those breaths out, and any crud, comments, negative energy with it your place looks awesome... and your kitties look beautiful and happy..
i try to live by the adage if you have nothing good to say, then shut the heck up.. of course there are times this doesnt always apply.. but then there are many who just like to hear the sounds of their own voice... and not care about the gibberish that comes out. you need to learn some "tuning out" exercises.. so you dont make yourself sick with that kind of stuff...remember whats important to you, and disregard the rest of the bull$%^ |
#27
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don't listen to him.....my parents think i'm just...three cats and three dogs and seems a part-timer....maybe i am crazy ....but i will never have it anyother way.....and i'm in my 40's
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Wayne Dad To : George 18 year beagle, Rest in peace little buddy....love Beathoven 7 year old mutt Maggie 5 year jack russell Felix 15 year tabby Ozzie 12 year tabby Tigger 10 year long hair cat marley just a pup sasha grand pup___________________________________________________________ Lettin the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin it back in. Most of the stuff people worry about ain't gonna happen anyway. |
#28
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There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ |
#29
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Love your place.... may I say....cats don't need alot of space...they need alot of love... and it seems so evident to me that you easily meet that requirement. I've seen your pictures... don't your cats seem happy to you?? It sure does to me. I understand that not everyone is a "cat" person... I'm not sure I am... more of an "animal" person....tee hee... listen to the four-legged advisors...they see things so much more clearly than humans. Don't you think???
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#30
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__________________
There are only two rules at my house: House rule #1. Cats rule. House rule #2. See rule #1. http://nuriaandthegang.shutterfly.com/ |
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