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Old June 13th, 2010, 08:44 PM
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Am I a horrible cat owner? Please help...

I have two cats who I LOVE unconditionally. My husband and I have had Mylo for 5 years, and we got Max for a companion for her a little over a year ago. My problem is that I feel we aren't able to give them the attention they need and they NEED a lot of it. They aren't like the 'sterotypical' cats that most people claim cats are like: independent. They need attention 24/7 and when they don't get it they yowl or rip things up like little puppies or open cupboard doors and get into the dishes or Max will just attack Mylo out of nowhere and poor Mylo hisses and runs away only to get attacked again. They are horribly messy eaters and the wet food I feed them ends up on the walls, the floor, the furniture. They play in it so they track it all over the house. When they aren't being trouble makers, they are the best cuddlers anyone could ask for. They are so sweet and Max will put his paw on my face or Mylo will nuzzle into me, and I love them so much because I know how much they love my husband and I. But I can never seem to look past the cat hair all over EVERYTHING despite taking almost an hour every other night to brush them, the litter that I find tracked into our bed sheets, poop outside of the litter box despite spic-and-span litter and coming home to a 'whoof-of-air' that smells like cat box and wet cat food....plus, my husband and I are going to start a family soon and I do not want my baby crawling around with cat hair stuck to it's chin or clothes, and picking up cat litter that the cats tracked all through the house. I feel horrible for wanting them to find a new home, but I'm also SO picky about them going to a new home because I want them to be loved as much as I love them, and I don't want them to be scared. So I just don't know what to do....any advice to make me want to quit the 'want' to get rid of my fur-babies? My patience has been tried over and over and over again, and I just feel like I want them to be in a home where they aren't viewed by their owner as a nuisance 80% of the time...thank you.. oh and please no negative comments...i really am struggling emotionally with making a decision...

Last edited by max&mylo; June 13th, 2010 at 09:19 PM.
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Old June 13th, 2010, 09:53 PM
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Sooooo if your kids become a pain in the butt are you going to get rid of them too? What if they become drug addicts??? What if they are born special needs????
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Old June 13th, 2010, 10:00 PM
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Umm...I firmly believe that children are far more important than cats...soo the answer to your question is no.. And I thought I requested no negative comments, so please keep your thoughts to yourself, thanks.

Last edited by Blackbear; June 13th, 2010 at 11:10 PM.
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Old June 13th, 2010, 10:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by max&mylo View Post
Umm...I firmly believe that children are far more important than cats...soo the answer to your question is no.. And I thought I requested no negative comments, so please keep your thoughts to yourself, thanks.
You are asking a pet loving, with many members who rescue pets because people somehow feel that the responsibilities they took on a few years ago should be tossed aside because now they want children .
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Last edited by Blackbear; June 13th, 2010 at 11:10 PM.
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Old June 13th, 2010, 10:16 PM
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Old June 13th, 2010, 10:17 PM
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So which Marshfield do you live in? Massachusetts? Wisconsin? Gloucestershire?
Wherever it is please look for the closest rescue and surrender your cats to them. They deserve a home where they are truly loved. In fact, pay to have them shipped to me. I will love them for who they are. Please do not turn them into a shelter. They will surely be put down if they are truly as messy as you say.
I have never heard of cats playing in their food. What do you feed them? If they are playing in it they must be awfully bored. Do they have toys to occupy them? Scratch posts? Windows to look out of? Litter gets tracked a bit, yes. I agree with that. But what kind are you using that it gets tracked that far?
As for clean homes - please do not assume because we love cats our homes are messy. L4H's is one of the most spotless houses I have seen. And she has four cats and fosters mothers and their kittens.
You asked our opinions. It's pretty hard not to be negative when you make statements like you have.
If you are interested in rehoming them to me and are willing to send them here, your expense, please PM me. I will gladly give them a home.
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Old June 13th, 2010, 10:28 PM
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Well if she didn't want to get ridiculed, she shouldn't have been so rude to begin with. I specifically asked for no negative comments, foreseeing that there would be people like her who had to share their rude 2 cents.

But to answer your questions...I do not want to give them to a shelter for the exact reasons you gave. They have PLENTY of toys to play with and windows to look out. I leave a window open in the office for them to perch on every day right by the bird feeder that I installed right outside the window for their very enjoyment. Their toy box is always open and plum-full of toys that Max is constantly digging in.

When we first got Mylo, we had a ferret. Mylo would playfully attack the ferret when she was trying to eat, so our ferret would grab a lot of food in her mouth and run under the entertainment center to eat it in safety. Mylo picked up this trick-even though she's not in any danger of getting attacked, she still grabs a mouthful of food (wet or dry) and walks about 10 feet away from her bowl and drops it on the floor to enjoy it, leaving spots of food all over the floor...

And the litter we use is tidycat multi-cat scoopable...don't know how it gets tracked to our bed.

I will never ship animals, so I'm sorry, but I will not ship them to you. I have been asking every family member and friend and family members of friends for the past couple of months. I want them to stay together because they have a great friendship, but most people don't want 2 cats...I won't bring them to a shelter, so I will just continue to ask around until someone (that i trust) says that they would like to take them.

Our kits get plenty of exercise, toys and love from us; there is no question about that-they are ridiculously spoiled. They literally have the run of the house-which is OK for now. But I don't want my kits to be competing for attention when we have a little one running around here. I don't want them feeling left out and I do NOT want to lock them in the basement all the time, which people have told me to do......they really are good cats, despite their annoying habits, so that is why I have the dilemma. But I have discovered that I will no longer come on here if I have a problem or an issue that I would like help with. The rudeness is unfair.
Thanks.
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Old June 13th, 2010, 10:37 PM
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You still haven't said where you are. It is possible with the networking we have available we can find you a good rescue in your area who may be able to take your cats.
So the food issue is your fault then? You allowed it to go on. It should have been stopped immediately when you saw it happen. It is still fixable. Try feeding Mylo in a small area for a while. She will soon get the idea that she is not to be taking her food away to eat. Do Max do it as well?
As for "shipping" I meant find someone who is coming my way and they can ride along in a nice comfy car. My house is pretty clean as well. Regardless of the fact that there are six cats, two dogs, a bird and a fish tank. Oh, and a husband and two stepsons who make more of a mess than the pets do.
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Assumptions do nothing but make an ass out of u and me.

We can stick our heads in the sand for only so long before it starts choking us. Face it folks. The pet population is bad ALL OVER THE WORLD!
  #9  
Old June 13th, 2010, 10:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cell View Post
What your feeling is guilt about getting rid of your pets. No one on here can give you advise about removing the guilt from your conscience. If these cats are such a huge nuisance for you just get rid of them, just give them to whoever you find willing to take them because not too many people are willing to take middle aged cats who are essentially special needs, shed a huge amount, splatter food, and don't use the litter boxes.

In fact these cats are lucky that you withstood their terrors for so long by the way you describe them, you may be better off having them put to sleep.
Then you can enjoy your clean house and a barfing, crapping baby, that will cry every 2 hours for 2 hours, throw its food all over.


No negative comments? what in the world to you expect when coming to a PET form asking how we can ease your guilty mind? Your not even asking how to cope or reform their behaviour, just asking how you can feel better about passing your burden to someone else.

Me Me Me, enjoy yourself.
Thank you, I will enjoy myself and whatever decision I make. And no, I am not feeling guilty. Not at all, actually. I was just coming on here to pretty much ask and see if anyone else has this problem and what they have done about it-and it doesn't go much more below the surface, there.
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Old June 13th, 2010, 10:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 14+kitties View Post
You still haven't said where you are. It is possible with the networking we have available we can find you a good rescue in your area who may be able to take your cats.
So the food issue is your fault then? You allowed it to go on. It should have been stopped immediately when you saw it happen. It is still fixable. Try feeding Mylo in a small area for a while. She will soon get the idea that she is not to be taking her food away to eat. Do Max do it as well?
As for "shipping" I meant find someone who is coming my way and they can ride along in a nice comfy car. My house is pretty clean as well. Regardless of the fact that there are six cats, two dogs, a bird and a fish tank. Oh, and a husband and two stepsons who make more of a mess than the pets do.
Sorry, will not reveal which Marshfield I live in. Not with people like 'cell' who sound more evil than anyone I've ever met lurking around, wondering where to find me because I come on here seeing if there's someone to relate to.
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Old June 13th, 2010, 10:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by max&mylo View Post
Sorry, will not reveal which Marshfield I live in. Not with people like 'cell' who sound more evil than anyone I've ever met lurking around, wondering where to find me because I come on here seeing if there's someone to relate to.
Feel free to PM me. I'm pretty sure no one is going to come after you if they know what area you are in. Most of us are too busy living our own lives. But at least if I know the area you are in I can maybe help find some reliable rescues.
The other offer still stands. Do you know of any truckers who come to Canada? I'm not that far away from the border..................
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Assumptions do nothing but make an ass out of u and me.

We can stick our heads in the sand for only so long before it starts choking us. Face it folks. The pet population is bad ALL OVER THE WORLD!
  #12  
Old June 13th, 2010, 10:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by max&mylo View Post
Well if she didn't want to get ridiculed, she shouldn't have been so rude to begin with. I specifically asked for no negative comments, foreseeing that there would be people like her who had to share their rude 2 cents.

But to answer your questions...I do not want to give them to a shelter for the exact reasons you gave. They have PLENTY of toys to play with and windows to look out. I leave a window open in the office for them to perch on every day right by the bird feeder that I installed right outside the window for their very enjoyment. Their toy box is always open and plum-full of toys that Max is constantly digging in.

When we first got Mylo, we had a ferret. Mylo would playfully attack the ferret when she was trying to eat, so our ferret would grab a lot of food in her mouth and run under the entertainment center to eat it in safety. Mylo picked up this trick-even though she's not in any danger of getting attacked, she still grabs a mouthful of food (wet or dry) and walks about 10 feet away from her bowl and drops it on the floor to enjoy it, leaving spots of food all over the floor...

And the litter we use is tidycat multi-cat scoopable...don't know how it gets tracked to our bed.

I will never ship animals, so I'm sorry, but I will not ship them to you. I have been asking every family member and friend and family members of friends for the past couple of months. I want them to stay together because they have a great friendship, but most people don't want 2 cats...I won't bring them to a shelter, so I will just continue to ask around until someone (that i trust) says that they would like to take them.

Our kits get plenty of exercise, toys and love from us; there is no question about that-they are ridiculously spoiled. They literally have the run of the house-which is OK for now. But I don't want my kits to be competing for attention when we have a little one running around here. I don't want them feeling left out and I do NOT want to lock them in the basement all the time, which people have told me to do......they really are good cats, despite their annoying habits, so that is why I have the dilemma. But I have discovered that I will no longer come on here if I have a problem or an issue that I would like help with. The rudeness is unfair.
Thanks.
Hi...about the cat taking the food under the furniture...can u install two baby gates one on top of each other, or a door, so they can't jump over them and keep them in the space u feed them in? Give them 20 minutes to eat and then take the food away and give it back to them in a few hours. You could also just feed them in the bathroom with the door closed.
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Old June 13th, 2010, 11:09 PM
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If you came here asking for ways to deal with these problems so you could keep your cats as you start a family, you would have found no end of people with vast experience who would be more than glad to help you find solutions.

I hope you will reconsider and at least give a try to changing some things to see if some of the problems can be solved. You can still ask for help for specific problems.

So many people here work in rescue and see huge numbers of unwanted pets, you are not going to find anyone here sympathetic to your wanting to rehome your kitties.
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Old June 13th, 2010, 11:12 PM
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Could u keep your bedroom door closed so the cats can't get in there and track in litter? Do u have one of those rubber mats outside of the litter box to help keep the litter in place? Maybe your litter box isn't high enough? I use big rubermaid totes and that helps keep the litter in the box. How many litter boxes do u have? U should have one for each cat plus one...that may help with the pooping outside the box. Also the poop outside the box maybe signaling that that cat is not feeling well or is trying to tell you u aren't keeping the box as clean as they like or they don't like the litter.

As for getting into the cupboard doors, u say your going to be having kids soon,,,why not start early child proofing the doors with locks so the cats and the kid won't be able to get into them? We did that with the vanity under the bathroom sink when we got our first cat,,,we have 4 now, cause we didn't want willie to get at the dangerous stuff under there.

I also bought this thing for my vaccumn it's made by eureka and it's called Power Paw. You attach it on your vaccumn hose and it has a brush that spins and takes the hair off furniture and other places...works great! I got it at Walmart I think it was 30 or 40 bucks but well worth the money...it coems with an adapter so it will fit on any vacumn model.

Debbie
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  #15  
Old June 13th, 2010, 11:16 PM
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Results of googling:

http://www.google.ca/search?rlz=1C1G...ts+cat+rescues

http://www.google.ca/search?rlz=1C1G...in+cat+rescues

And Marshfield, PEI

http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&rl...=&oq=&gs_rfai=

I won't include UK because I don't get the feeling that is where you are.

If you aren't willing to ship/drive them to me then hopefully one of these sites will yield some help.
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Assumptions do nothing but make an ass out of u and me.

We can stick our heads in the sand for only so long before it starts choking us. Face it folks. The pet population is bad ALL OVER THE WORLD!
  #16  
Old June 14th, 2010, 03:04 AM
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Hi max&mylo,

This is a tough one. There's multiple issues going on here and things that bother you about your cats. We all WANT to help you keep your cats because that's basically what most of us believe around here - that pets are for life. That we make a choice to bring them into our lives and then they bond with us and become affectionate with us and they think of us as family. Many members also think of pets as family so it hurts us to hear that you are considering giving up these cats. You are being incredibly honest, and I applaud that, but most of us simply believe that pets are for life. We do realize that the majority of North Americans do not believe this.

Given that cats shed...you will never be able to solve that issue unless you vacuum more often or have your cats shaved regularly or both. There's no getting around that issue. If the hair is the true issue, then we are at a loss here.

In terms of their overactivity if you are willing to invest a few bucks I would contact my vet to see they could recommend a behaviorist that could give you additional information for your particular cats. I might also look into calming medications from my vet if they are truly overactive.

If members have concrete suggestions for the OP - Now's the time.

Please let's keep this thread civil.

Thx - Marko
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  #17  
Old June 14th, 2010, 07:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marko View Post
Given that cats shed...you will never be able to solve that issue unless you vacuum more often or have your cats shaved regularly or both. There's no getting around that issue. If the hair is the true issue, then we are at a loss here.
Actually, diet can play a big role in how much a cat sheds. Better quality food means better quality coat, and less shedding. A raw diet especially can give cats an amazing lush coat with minimal shedding. Also, adding some vitamin E and/or omega3 oils and/or some evening primrose or borage oil to their diet can significantly improve coat quality.
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Old June 14th, 2010, 07:40 AM
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I have been trying to offer some concrete help; given lots of suggestions. Given the number of issues these cats have I don't even see most rescues wanting to take them on.
As I said - truckers come this way all the time. I am willing to adopt these two rather than see them end up in a horrible situation.
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Assumptions do nothing but make an ass out of u and me.

We can stick our heads in the sand for only so long before it starts choking us. Face it folks. The pet population is bad ALL OVER THE WORLD!
  #19  
Old June 14th, 2010, 07:44 AM
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thanks for your advice, sugarcatmom. I will definitely try switching or adding some vitamin E/oils to their food.

and to the rest of you-I feel the same about keeping pets for life, I really do. We had our family dog for 19 years before we had to put him down because of arthritis, and we've had our family cat for 14 years. I'm not the type of person who is a serial-pet owner. It's just that the stress has been mounting and I found myself stuck between a rock and a hard place on making a decision, and I came here to get sound advice, not ridiculed. I know how I put my original post sounded like I was feeling guilty, but I wasn't/am not. I just didn't know what to do.

Closing our bedroom door will help keep the litter off of the bed- a lot. I just never wanted to originally do that because they love being in our room, and I didn't want them to be sad that they couldn't be in it anymore, but I suppose they will eventually learn.

And childproofing the cupboards isn't a bad idea either. A little extra work, but I guess thats what it'll take to bring my patience with max and mylo back to a healthy level.

I guess I've just been feeling overwhelmed lately because I have a full time job, and just picked up another part time job to help a friend out, so now I'm working about 60 hours a week, plus my little sister through big brothers big sisters just started softball, and she has practice 2 nights a week, and a game once a week, so I find myself NEVER home. And I guess it's been making me get behind on keeping up with the shedding. I clean their litterbox every day, so that's not an issue. And the pooping outside of it? That's something I'll just have to work on.
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Old June 14th, 2010, 07:45 AM
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so NO WORRIES. these cats aren't going anywhere..
  #21  
Old June 14th, 2010, 08:34 AM
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Edited by admin - deleted quote as referenced post also deleted
______________________________________

Max&Mylo

you know, i dont blame you for wanting to leave, i left too because i felt i was treated with disrespect.

BUT, when i came back a second time because i picked up another cat i found there were some really nice people here.

so even if someone gets you mad, try and look past it, you'll find nice people here.

with patience you'll find this place to be very helpful.

im sorry to hear about your cats though, you obviously love them very much if your reluctant to just giving them away to anyone.

putting them to sleep is obviously not in your interestes (dont blame you)

but you came to the right place, and i hope everything goes well, take care .
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Last edited by marko; June 14th, 2010 at 09:49 AM.
  #22  
Old June 14th, 2010, 10:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by max&mylo View Post
Thank you, I will enjoy myself and whatever decision I make. And no, I am not feeling guilty. Not at all, actually. I was just coming on here to pretty much ask and see if anyone else has this problem and what they have done about it-and it doesn't go much more below the surface, there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by max&mylo View Post
I have two cats who I LOVE unconditionally. ...

Conditional on that they don't make a mess, you mean

I feel horrible for wanting them to find a new home, ...what to do....any advice to make me want to quit the 'want' to get rid of my fur-babies?

Now that does sound like guilt feelings to me

My patience has been tried over and over and over again, and I just feel like I want them to be in a home where they aren't viewed by their owner as a nuisance 80% of the time...thank you.. oh and please no negative comments...i really am struggling emotionally with making a decision...
Are you or are you not planning on getting rid of your cats? I am quite confused?

Quote:
Originally Posted by max&mylo View Post
Well if she didn't want to get ridiculed, she shouldn't have been so rude to begin with.

I am pretty tough, it would take more than what you said to upset me

I specifically asked for no negative comments, foreseeing that there would be people like her who had to share their rude 2 cents.

On a public forum, you just can't control what people post

But to answer your questions...I do not want to give them to a shelter for the exact reasons you gave. They have PLENTY of toys to play with and windows to look out. I leave a window open in the office for them to perch on every day right by the bird feeder that I installed right outside the window for their very enjoyment. Their toy box is always open and plum-full of toys that Max is constantly digging in.

When we first got Mylo, we had a ferret. Mylo would playfully attack the ferret when she was trying to eat, so our ferret would grab a lot of food in her mouth and run under the entertainment center to eat it in safety. Mylo picked up this trick-even though she's not in any danger of getting attacked, she still grabs a mouthful of food (wet or dry) and walks about 10 feet away from her bowl and drops it on the floor to enjoy it, leaving spots of food all over the floor...


Easily cleaned, where a cat can fit so can a vacuum cleaner hose

And the litter we use is tidycat multi-cat scoopable...don't know how it gets tracked to our bed.

I will never ship animals, so I'm sorry, but I will not ship them to you. I have been asking every family member and friend and family members of friends for the past couple of months. I want them to stay together because they have a great friendship, but most people don't want 2 cats...I won't bring them to a shelter, so I will just continue to ask around until someone (that i trust) says that they would like to take them.

Too bad, 14+kitties is known as the kitty whisperer because she has such a great talent with cats, including ferals. Her cats are loved unconditionally


Our kits get plenty of exercise, toys and love from us; there is no question about that-they are ridiculously spoiled. They literally have the run of the house-which is OK for now. But I don't want my kits to be competing for attention when we have a little one running around here. I don't want them feeling left out and I do NOT want to lock them in the basement all the time, which people have told me to do......they really are good cats, despite their annoying habits,

What if you have twins who have annoying habits


The rudeness is unfair.
Thanks.
So is giving up your cats because of "annoying little habits". Cats become attached to their humans and go through a lot of stress when they are given up.

Life is not about having a clean house, perfectly clean children, and a white picket fence. Life is about sharing your love you have with others including your pets, allow them to bring them joy to your heart and experience their unconditional love. Trying to bring happiness to those around you. One thing I always think about is: Is this going to matter on my death bed? Having perfection at the sake of your family will probably not be.

Dealing with "annoying little habits" is a life skill, that you can learn to live with or allow to drive you crazy. You can't control others, but you can learn to shrug off what is not important.

I hope you can find a way to deal with your cats without compromising their happiness, but if you feel you can't then, yes, please rehome them.
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  #23  
Old June 14th, 2010, 10:21 AM
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Frenchy Frenchy is offline
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What you're describing ... well that's typical cats ! I know at my house , there will be mess around the litter , there will be mess in their feeding areas. There will be fur on the floor , on the furnitures ... everywhere ! They do shred some toys and spread the mess all around the house. But this is what animals do !!!

I have found the perfect solution , I vacuum and clean.
  #24  
Old June 14th, 2010, 10:58 AM
BenMax BenMax is offline
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I can understand that you wish not to engage in any negative comments, but what you are saying and asking for is something that rescue volunteers and shelter staff hear everyday and it is very difficult to digest as we consider all animals as worthy and encourage people to accept them, work with them and fullful the obligation upon taking in their pets. In saying this however it appears that people have low tolerance for minor issues.

I rescue dogs and cats. I cannot tell you how broken hearted and emotionally ruined I am when I go to see 21 cats being euthanized for various reasons and I must select only 6 out of the 21. I select, and I say how very very sorry I am to the others as they reach their little arms out to me for a caresse. And I caresse them before they are killed. I don't know why I and others are faced with having to deal with people's decisions. I will and I do remember all their faces, their eyes and the love that they request. I will live with this and die with it. And I am not ok with it.

I suggest you find a rescue group to assist in taking these cats in since this issue is too overwhelming for you. If you bring to a shelter they may not make it and will be destroyed while someone they don't know takes them to 'that' room.

I wish you luck. Heck I wish your cats peace, love and a second chance to find forever homes. I feel badly for you, but I feel worse for the cats.

Best to you.
  #25  
Old June 14th, 2010, 11:37 AM
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ancientgirl ancientgirl is offline
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Cats and dogs are messy. For that matter, so are kids! If you can't handle the messy food area, the hair all over the place, the litter tracking and the messes outside the box, what are you going to do when your kids start trying to learn how to eat on their own? When the start to learn they can take off their diapers and leave you their own presents in the living room?

I'm sorry, but if you can't learn to deal with and solve your current issues, then you're going to have a nervous breakdown when you have a kid.

After my boys do their business, I have to use a small vacuum to clean outside the box, because there's litter everywhere. The area where they eat always has some food around it, so I clean it. Sometimes when I get in bed, I feel little pieces of litter on my bed, I brush it away. Why? Because I love them. They happily meet me at the door when I get home. They follow me room to room because they want my company. They cuddle with me in bed at night, because they feel safe sleeping with me.

You have to take the good with the bad when you love unconditionally.
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  #26  
Old June 14th, 2010, 11:38 AM
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This thread has run its course and will now be closed unless the OP Pms me to re-open it. Thx - Marko
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  #27  
Old June 15th, 2010, 11:01 AM
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marko marko is offline
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You should know that the less than tactful responses in this thread have caused the OP to permanently leave.

She will no longer come here for advice and we will no longer have any influence over her decision. Frankly, this saddens me.
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