Scared of Cocker Spaniel

[Lawgirl0521]

In a month I will be moving in with my boyfriend and his dog, Astro. About the dog: Astro is a 7 year old cocker spaniel with behavioral problems. He still messes in the house (sometimes as often as three times a day!), he snaps and barks frequently. For me, he is a very unpredictable dog. About me: several years ago I was attacked badly by a German Shepherd, it was my grandfather’s dog and the dog knew me well. I turned my back to get him a bone and he pinned me against a counter, biting the small of my neck. Thankfully he was pulled off of me before he could find his way to important parts of my neck. Obviously this was a very traumatic experience for me and I have since developed disdain for dogs and intense fear of large dogs. When I met my boyfriend I tried to forge a bond with Astro. Especially since he is a mere 30 lbs. Things were progressing, I was even taking him on walks alone! However a few months ago, he snapped at me out of the blue (I was petting him together with my boyfriend and Astro caught the tip of my finger, broke the skin and caused bruising under my nail bed). Not a huge injury to someone who hasn’t been attacked once before but very psychologically damaging to me. Later that same night, Astro sought me out and began aggressively barking at me. I was frozen with fear and completely dependant on my boyfriend to control the dog. Because of this night, I am terrified of having to live with this dog every day. Terrified of having to deal with his messing the house and very terrified that he will try and hurt my cat. Could anyone offer any advice to me with trying to cope with this fear, some suggestions to try and get the dog to stop messing in the house (because he is moving to an entirely new location, I’ve been told there is hope to establish myself as an Alpha and teach him that his old habits of going in the house are not acceptable), and any advice on merging my sweet cat, Tela, into the household (Astro has lived with a cat and never tried to hurt him). Just for informational purposes, our new house is two floors so the dog will be gated and not allowed upstairs to create a “safe place” for the cat as well as for myself. Thanks!!