Hi, I'm ruby. Mom talks alot about me on here, but I asked her "can I talk" please. And so with MY instructions she is typing out my thoughts (paws cant quite work that keybord ya know).
So...here is my typical day
Mom woke me up early, insisting I have to go out to pee. I mean really woman...dont I usually TELL you when I have to go, and since when do I HAVE to pee at seven am.. i usually like to sleep in till at least eight thirty (but I humor her and piddle anyways ).
I am really upset right now because I love my treats, and see all the other housemates of mine (four , really mom..four of them)...get them..and I'm told no, and given something that truly does taste like cardboard. I've never actually eaten cardboard (ok maybe once)..but I imagine thats what it tastes like. It has no smell, no flavor, and is hard a a rock. CAN WE SAY YUCK . I figure spitting it out onto moms foot would give her the idea I hate it. NOPE. she gives it to me anyways. I figured laying on the floor, whining, trying to steal the other dogs food, treats, toys ect..would give her the idea that i really hate it. NO.
she still offers it to me anyways. God woman...get a brain. I know ..I know..she's trying to help me stay healthy because I have kidney diabetes...but ...geesh. I'd just like a little flavor. Put some penut butter on it mom. I know...I know. I cant have that either. Sigh...oh well. Off to investigate the underside of moms bed. Maybe I can find that sock daddys missing. Of course..he's missing it because of me. But I dont have to tell him that do I?
DARN IT. mom spotted me with the sock. NO ...its MINE...MINE I tell you.
HA HA..>I won (so what if she let me, I still won).
Oh...can someone please tell mom, that chewing the ears of my mini blue hippo toy is FUN, and that it is completely RUDE of her to insist upon sewing the ear right back up, just as soon as I get it open to the stuffing.
I WANT the stuffing.
I'm a good girl, I dont eat it like toby does...I just pull it all out, destroy the sqeeker...and wha la..that was a good time. Its so much fun. But no...she has to sew it back up.
I mean really..get off your fat butt, and pick up the stuffing..maybe I'll make a game of that too...chase mama while she picks up stuffing
Anyone want a dach? I have four for sale. they cost, two hotdogs, one peice of cheese, and anything else edible THAT HAS FLAVOR in it...
Get the feeling I'm tired of sharing mommy.?
I really dont mind it most of the time, and they are fun to play with. But...colby has to share my mommys lap..and I DONT LIKE SHARING THAT. THAT IS MINE. MINE MINE.
but...what do I do. I just lick him on the nose and POUT.
he's new and hasnt learned the ropes yet.
If mommy brings home another one thou...I'm seriously biting her nose off.
Well, I can think about it anyways.
Oh...can someone explain to mommy that me going outside to SEE petey the possum is a GOOD idea. I keep telling her it is..but she just wont listen. DARN HER.
I've not got her trained very well I suppose.
I'm four..and I've spent the last two years trying to convince her that I can drive. (hey I really can).
but..I'm strapped into my seat like a insaine person is into a straigh jacket..and she barely rolls down the window.
(of course...the fact that I'd jump out of it willingly, probably has a lot to do with it).
But I can say..mommys my favorite. I get a french fry snuck to me everyonce in a while, and she buys be sweet tater treats that no one else gets. So..>i guess I'll keep her.
Oh..its dinner time.
YUM, hard, dry, tastless cardbord KIBBLES..
mom..penut butter, I keep telling you everything is better with penut butter.
At least stick me a slice of cheese on there.
Sigh..oh well. I'll eat it. (after I roll on it first).
Mom you made me a new bed, how sweet. I know it took you a few hours...but I'm shredding it as soon as you leave me alone. I know I already shredded my blanket...but really that bed tastes better than my food...so phewy on you, I'm shredding it.
AH HA>..its a wasp....I'm gonna get you.
MOM..LET ME GO...I want to get the wasp..really...I'm good at it. ....YAY...she let me go.
YIKES...that tastes nasty ..and my tounge feels funny
MOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYYY i have an OWIEEEEEEEEE.
Mommy, why are you craming a little pink pill down my throat...thats yucky too.
Oh..benedryl, and it'll help my tounge...oh..ok. Well..maybe I wont EAT the wasp next time. I guess I shouldve listened.
Hey..its two am and your still on the computer...its time for bed woman. Bed....hmmmm...oh yeah..I can go work on that while your typing.
MOMMMYYYYY there is a colby on my bed. GET HIM OFF.
well, I've fetched a sock, ripped open my hippo, shredded some of my bed, begged for treats I cant have, ate my cardbord kibble, drank lots of water and burped in mommys face, fought over mommys lap, caught a wasp (which stung my tounge), and now its time to snuggle up with mommy in the bed , until she gets sleepy, and then puts me onto my bed (darn it..she fixed it already)...and prepare for tommorows "chapter" of events.
Oh..does anyone know where mommys put my mini girafee....I've just now got the ear worn off of it, and was just getting to the stuffing? Oh well..I'll work on the hippo a little while longer. (maybe if i hide it under her bed she wont find it to sew it back up)