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Old January 18th, 2013, 12:02 AM
pintree3 pintree3 is offline
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Should i get my dog back? Concerned for his mental well-being

My Pointer was abandoned when he was about a month old. I took him over, raised him, gave him all the love and attention he needed. He is well behaved, smart and loved by all (humans and other pets). A little over a year ago (him now being 4.5 years old) because of a deep depression (mine) I had to leave him behind to neighbors and then left the country--the last few days one can feel that he sensed that something was wrong. Since then I have been talking to him via Skype a couple of times a month. The neighbors/new owners have been great to him in terms of giving him the love he needs. However, they do not have the time to take him out as often as I used to nor give him as much attention--but he is being well taken care of nevertheless and loved as mentioned.
Anyhow, now that I have my head together I wonder if it is a good idea for him for me to get him back. As much as I love him and miss him I am primarily concerned for his well-being, not mine. I am wondering if getting him back will be a good thing for him (showing him he was not abandoned a 2nd time) or if he would feel abandoned a 3d time around if we did so?
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Old January 18th, 2013, 07:53 AM
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marko marko is offline
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Personally, I think you should leave him where he is.
The dog has now bonded with new owners, and removing the dog from its new owners and new environment will surely stress the dog out.
His well being will be better if he stays where he is.
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Old January 18th, 2013, 08:26 AM
Jull Jull is offline
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I agree with Marko, I think is OK where he is. He is being looked after, loved, feed, its good... I think is normal for anybody to feel that our former pet may not be getting as much attention as he/she did with us, but at the end of the day you know he is in a good home and that is what matters; Unless you knew he was being abused, not feed, not taken care of, bouncing back from home to home would probably stress him too much and would be worse for him.
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Old January 18th, 2013, 10:32 AM
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Dog Dancer Dog Dancer is offline
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I think that after a year the pup is settled and would be better left where he is. Unless that family is having difficulties and thinking of rehoming him he's bonded with them and is fine. Lots of dogs don't get the best amount of attention but they thrive on the love. You did what was best for him and should take comfort in that. He's doing well. I hope you are also, and in due course some day you may decide to take on a new pet that you can shower with love for their entire life.
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Old January 18th, 2013, 11:12 AM
HappyJacks HappyJacks is offline
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Your former dog is best where he is, and is the property of his new owners, who as your findings have seemingly confirmed are also good pet parents. That they do things perhaps a bit differently than you would if he were still yours is to be expected, but that is not cause for alarm or concern. Courts are filled with disputes over children by warring (divorced) parents--one claiming their ideas of raising the child being better than the other parent's, and only thing that does is harm the kid whom they claim to be speaking for. Nuts, isn't it?

In this case, he is their dog (you surrendered him to them, yes?), and their decisions qua owners must by you be respected. Please know I undertand and hear that you are in a better place now, and worried about him. Please don't beat yourself up about it. You did what you did because you wanted what was best for him, having since confirmed by the sounds of it that you did in fact make the right decision: you didn't dump him off or abandon him but, rather, found what sounds to be a good home where he is taken care of and loved. Having satisfied yourself of this (which means you care, and always did), it's time to forgive yourself and don't second-guess: you did what was best, in his best interests. Doesn't mean you need be a complete stranger in his life, should his owners wish to provide you updates from time to time, but that once again is up to them (and they are not going to be inclined to do so if you question or critique their pet-parenting, right?).

It's hard, I well understand, never an easy thing to give up a friend, but you didn't abandon him; by the sounds of it, you found him a good home such that it is OK to forgive yourself, knowing you did for him what was best.

All the best
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Old January 18th, 2013, 11:59 AM
pintree3 pintree3 is offline
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Should my dog come back?

Thanks to all--lovely answer HappyJacks. I would like to add that the new owners have no problem whatsoever returning the dog. They already have 3 other dogs and a few cats as well. I was not disputing their parenting--to each their own and I agree with what was said. It was merely something which I felt needed to be mentioned. The dog is presently in Asia--living in a cramped apartment and getting him back may perhaps even help the new owners. My question was focusing on my dog's well being. In other words is it psychologically good for him or not for me to get him back? The consensus seems to be to leave him where he is. It seems we are all dog lovers here but I question how many of us are qualified experts. I certainly am not. Based on what I've observed and been told on Skype by the new owners they have been having problems with him--My assessment is due to his being bored--He barks more often then he used to and doesn't necessarily listen to commands. The problems albeit have diminished but are still there. Hard to say really what I think but I do indeed thank you all for your opinions. What are the major differences in his life b4 and now? He is a pointer which means he is a evry social dog who needs his exercise. He would run 4 to 6 KMs a day, now never. He would be taken out with me every day wherever I went all day long. Now he stays mainly at home. He would often meet new people that would play with him. Now he stays with the same people. He used to be left free to roam the apartment at night now he sleeps in the entrance (approximately 3 feet squared closed space).
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