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Old July 27th, 2010, 07:35 AM
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Winston Winston is offline
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Our Pets and the grieving process

Hey all

I know its only been a couple of weeks since we lost Bomber but I am wondering what experiences people have had with loosing a pet and having one remain alone.

I think Tabitha has figured out that Bomber is not coming home she has become very very vocal....she goes from room to room crying for Bomber. Its not the typical meow either...its more the yodelling that they do..she is up all night and has been spending many days laying looking out the window. The vet did think that she would grieve for Bomber but unknown with each cat what extent....

Tabitha is eating, drining and pooping fine, but this behaviour is sad to watch. It not only breaks my heart but makes me feel so sad for her. We are giving her a lot of attention and she is actually demanding alot more attention too!

I know I will never be the same after loosing my boy but I am wondering if any of you did anything special to help your pets get along after loosing a mate!


Cindy
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Tabitha April 10, 1995 - August 23, 2013
Bomber April 10, 1995 - July 12, 2010
Winston Nov 15, 1999 - September 15, 2011
Sophie Aug 30, 2011

"UNTIL ONE HAS LOVED AN ANIMAL, PART OF THEIR SOUL REMAINS UNAWAKENED"
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
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Old July 27th, 2010, 07:50 AM
BenMax BenMax is offline
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Hi Winston. I am so sorry.

I do believe animals grieve but maybe not the way we perceive grieving. I think when they are used to having a lifelong partner, and that partner is missing, they search for them.

I have always had many animals at the same time so I do not think that they have missed the others that have passed. What I can tell you however is that my two siamese are very bonded and when I was fostering Dobie and when he left, I did notice a change in Blu. When Dobie came back (the people did not want him afterall), Blu greeted him with such enthusiasm. They both ran off together, got on the bed and started grooming one another. Since then (as you know) I ended up keeping Dobie because he was very important for Blu's well being (mind you, he is good for mine as well ). Witnessing this, I can only assume that there is a void in their lives when another is missing and does not return.

I think that Blu would have been fine in time, but I also know that the reunion was something to be seen and rather sad at the same time as it was obvious that they longed for one another.

I don't really know what you should do, but giving the remaining animal alot of attention and reassurance is the right thing to do in my opinion.

Again Winston, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was a better way of saying it.
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Old July 27th, 2010, 08:01 AM
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14+kitties 14+kitties is offline
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Cindy - I found this article to be helpful when I had to have Brownie pts. Meowzer did grieve a little. Even with all the other cats around. He was the one that was always with Brownie. It took him a bit to figure out Brownie wasn't coming back. Of course with all the other kitties here he seemed to be back to himself in a week or so. But he still sleeps on the top of my catchall in the same position he did when Brownie slept next to him.

http://www.messybeast.com/cat-grief.htm

And another site......

http://www.manhattancats.com/Article...Other_Cats.htm
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Old July 27th, 2010, 10:16 AM
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luckypenny luckypenny is offline
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I don't have any additional advice for you, Winston...just wanted to give you .
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Old July 27th, 2010, 11:01 AM
Floppy Dog Floppy Dog is offline
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Have your considered getting another cat? If Bomber and Tabitha were long time house mates, then she might be feeling lonely. I did that when I had to put Sparkey down at age 13. I waited about 6-8 weeks to make sure that Silk undersood that Sparkey wasn't coming back then got a 1-1/2 year old rescue named Crush. The 2 cats never really did bond in the way that Silk and Sparkey did, but I firmly beleive that Crush's company kept Silk alive for another 4 years. (Silk had thyroid problems and couldn't be medicated, she fought too much.)
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Old July 27th, 2010, 08:04 PM
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Winston Winston is offline
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Thanks guys! 14+ I found this part of the article helpful,,,,

Cats are resilient animals. If given time to grieve, they will return to some of their old rituals, develop new rituals, and once again regain the contentment that they previously enjoyed.

Lp thank you so much for the hug!

BM thank you so much fo letting me hear your story!!!!!. Animals are such amazing creatures arent they!


Floppydog I dont know if Tabitha is willing to accept another mate? She ruled the roost so to speak here...and maybe at another time because emotionally it would not be fare to a new kitty if I am still not good with everything. A bit selfish perhaps but not feeling like I could handle it yet.
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Tabitha April 10, 1995 - August 23, 2013
Bomber April 10, 1995 - July 12, 2010
Winston Nov 15, 1999 - September 15, 2011
Sophie Aug 30, 2011

"UNTIL ONE HAS LOVED AN ANIMAL, PART OF THEIR SOUL REMAINS UNAWAKENED"
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
-Unknown
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Old August 2nd, 2010, 12:15 PM
EveandElla EveandElla is offline
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Hi Winston

I had to reply, we are going through a very similar experience. We adopted Eve and Ella at the same time from the ASPCA. They have been together since we adopted them three years ago. Even thought they had different personalities, they were very close and have never been separated. Last week Eve became very ill with kidney failure / cancer and had to be euthanized. Now my heart is breaking for Ella. She is very vocal
and anytime the door opens she runs to see if it is Evie. She rubs all over
Evie's carrier and then climbs in and sits in there as if to say "take me to Evie."
I am heartbroken already that we lost our shy, baby girl, but seeing Ella's confusion makes it so much more incredibly painful. She is eating, but I start to cry every time I put down only one bowl of food. From what I have been reading it seems that the best thing to do is to try and keep your routine as normal as possible and give lots of love and affection and attention. Although I wanted to rush right out and get her a new companion, I think it is better to give the surviving cat time to grieve, because that is stressful enough without
having to get used to a new cat. Also, cats do pick up on our energy, so for
now I am trying to be strong and not let her know I am hurting so much.
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Old August 4th, 2010, 06:03 PM
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Winston Winston is offline
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EveandElla thank you so much for writing! I am so sorry your going through a similiar experience. I would not wish it on anyone.

I did want to say that it has been a little over 3 weeks and Tabitha has become quieter. Not as much of the meowing the past few days. She is sticking to us like glue but seeming to be accepting Bomber isnt around.

Stay strong and each day will get better...your heart will never heal though!

My condolences to you and your family.

Cindy
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Tabitha April 10, 1995 - August 23, 2013
Bomber April 10, 1995 - July 12, 2010
Winston Nov 15, 1999 - September 15, 2011
Sophie Aug 30, 2011

"UNTIL ONE HAS LOVED AN ANIMAL, PART OF THEIR SOUL REMAINS UNAWAKENED"
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
-Unknown
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Old August 4th, 2010, 06:07 PM
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Winston Winston is offline
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I took Tabitha in today for her urine collection and that went well. Wont have results until tomorrow.

I asked for her blood panel report and it was not great. They did a fpl1 test and she came back at a 9.1 result for pancreatitus. The reference range is 0.0-3.5...I dont know what road this will take us down but I will know more tomorrow when the urine is back. The vet indicated she was looking to see if she has a kidney infection as well.

Cindy
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Tabitha April 10, 1995 - August 23, 2013
Bomber April 10, 1995 - July 12, 2010
Winston Nov 15, 1999 - September 15, 2011
Sophie Aug 30, 2011

"UNTIL ONE HAS LOVED AN ANIMAL, PART OF THEIR SOUL REMAINS UNAWAKENED"
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
-Unknown
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Old August 4th, 2010, 07:09 PM
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cpietra16 cpietra16 is offline
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Winston, not sure how I missed this whole thread. I am so sorry you are going thru this with Tabitha. I so feel for you. for Tabitha and you of of course.
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Old August 4th, 2010, 07:13 PM
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Winston Winston is offline
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Cpietra I should have started a new thread...when it rains it pours...thank you for the hug!
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Tabitha April 10, 1995 - August 23, 2013
Bomber April 10, 1995 - July 12, 2010
Winston Nov 15, 1999 - September 15, 2011
Sophie Aug 30, 2011

"UNTIL ONE HAS LOVED AN ANIMAL, PART OF THEIR SOUL REMAINS UNAWAKENED"
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
-Unknown
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Old August 4th, 2010, 07:12 PM
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diandpat diandpat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Winston View Post
I took Tabitha in today for her urine collection and that went well. Wont have results until tomorrow.

I asked for her blood panel report and it was not great. They did a fpl1 test and she came back at a 9.1 result for pancreatitus. The reference range is 0.0-3.5...I dont know what road this will take us down but I will know more tomorrow when the urine is back. The vet indicated she was looking to see if she has a kidney infection as well.

Cindy
Oh my goodness Winston... for some positive results tomorrow and that the blood results can be easily managed
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Old August 15th, 2010, 10:19 PM
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Luvmypitgirls Luvmypitgirls is offline
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Winston, my condolences for the loss of Bomber

When my Benny passed away, Kato, and Kenya both acted differently for weeks. They would go lay in the spot where Benny passed away, at the foot of the stairs, usually they would lay on their dog beds in the familyroom.
Kato, just seemed sad, we couldn't entice him to play and he would nibble on his food, that lasted a couple weeks.
Kenya, she took it the hardest out of the pack, she cried, she would go from room to room looking for him, she would search the yard and whine and whine. She took over his "dog bed", and any other dog that tried to lay on got pushed off or intimidated into moving. She also laid claim to his toys, she wouldn't play with them, but neither would she allow anyone else to.
When Kenya passed, Kato pretty much did the same thing, whined for weeks, searched for her, took over her spots and her beds and her toys.
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