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Old August 22nd, 2012, 08:56 AM
crispyhair crispyhair is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: toronto
Posts: 16
newly adopted cat - bringing up big-time anxiety for me!

hi everyone,

so, for 3 years i lived with my partner, who has 3 cats. my partner and i moved apart (but we're still together) in june of this year. i was thrilled to not live with the cats anymore because i'm allergic and i just felt better living pet free - felt simpler.

HOWEVER - after a couple of weeks i noticed i was really missing the cats. one in particular, the girl cat, who i bonded with in a big way - and she with me. everytime i would visit my partner i would fawn over the cats, and they were always thrilled to see me, which felt so good. i started thinking about whether i should get a cat of my own... i gave it a lot of thought, did a lot of research (learned for example, that female cats tend to give off less of the allergy producing fd1, and light coloured cats as well - i also learned, when we visited a friend with a couple of long-haired cats that oddly enough i'm less allergic to medium to long-haired cats).

so, after lots of consideration, and lots of back and forth (i would long for a cat but then i'd ignore the longing to see if it would go away - it wouldn't). in fact, my longing seemed to be getting worse as i'd visit my partner and her cats and the cats would make me WEEPY/emotional, cuz i missed them so much! (esp, like i mentioned, the girl cat).

long story a bit shorter (;-)) i finally took the plunge on sunday and adopted a 6 year old girl from a cat hospital. she's a medium hair, light coloured beauty and i'm amazed at my lack of allergies thus far - which is awesome.

here's the thing that's come up for me that i didn't expect:

1) i keep getting waves of panic/anxiety when i think about the fact that i'm responsible for her life and that she's mine for LIFE. the commitment/responsibility feels scary and overwhelming.

2) i'm soooo worried all the time about her well-being... is she happy as an only cat? she lived in the hospital for a little over a year and apparently she likes dogs and other cats as well, with a preference for boys (i understand that's generally the case) so should i get her a companion??

apparently she was surrendered to the hospital/vet by a family with children because the children "tortured her." i'm hoping they didn't actually torture her but perhaps they were rough with her. she definitely acts like she has suffered some misuse. she doesn't like being picked up, she's definitely not a lap cat, she's terrified of ceiling fans and blinds - basically she's a pretty skittish girl - jumps at the slightest noise.

i guess my question is, how can i help quell her anxiety AND my own anxiety as well? i really wanted a chill, easy-going kinda cat and feel like she may not be that cat. i also wouldn't dream of returning her. i just want her to be happy! i realize she's only on day 3 with me so honestly, she could be hiding under the couch still at this point. the good thing is, she explores and come bed time (she seems to love bed time!!) she gets on my bed, rolls around on her back, very kitteny, grooms herself and purrs.

i sometimes get this horrible feeling in my stomach that i made the wrong decision in adopting her. and this just fuels my anxiety because i don't want to be one of those careless ppl who think they can just return a life at the drop of a hat... i also feel kind of "hemmed in" in my own place though... for example, i really need to vacuum but i've been putting it off because i know it'll scare the crap out of her. i find myself not behaving like myself in my own home and that kinda sucks.

argh! just stressed!! any tips, suggestions, advice is welcome - please!!!

signed,

stressed-out newbie pet owner... CH.
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