First, thank you so much for taking this poor girl in and looking after her!
Second, is there anyway you can move the spay date up, perhaps if you can find a subsidized spay/neuter program in your state? I hate to tell you this, but I doubt there's a lot you can do about Peanut's behaviour until then. I'm willing to bet most of it is due to her raging hormones. Believe me, I have utmost sympathy for you and your husband. I have an ex-feral Siamese that went into heat 4 times before I could get her spayed, and she was HORRIBLE to live with! But now she's such a doll and an absolutely amazing cat, that I can't imagine my life without her.
So all I can say is hang in there! If there's anyway to get her spayed sooner, that would about the best advice I can offer. I would even forget about getting her vaccinated for now (she really shouldn't be vaccinated at the same time as her surgery anyway). Maybe your husband can take some sedatives in the meantime?