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I've read a lot of the discussion about Matty and have never felt the need to post as I don't have any experience with misbehaving dogs but sprayeddog, I do want to pat you on the back for your patience and hard work in this situation and all at the expense of your wife's sanity, yours and your house.
There is a high standard set by pet owners when it comes to owning and living with animals but people are not perfect and neither are animals. We try our best and sometimes the best isn't quite enough. How many times have we all endured life trials and wanted to quit? How many times have we tried to tackle some project only to fail or realize the limits of our abilities? I think you've gone so far above and beyond what most people would do for your family that I don't see how anyone could possibly paint you as a quitter or unloving person.
Most people wouldn't even make it this far in the race and I'm not saying it's a right or wrong issue because people do have their limits. When you invest so much of yourself into your pet you hope that there's some return. When there isn't it's a natural response to feel disappointed and like you've failed. I do believe that most people do start out trying their hardest and some may fail but we can't condemn them because they couldn't be the perfect pet owner. That's just how it is. If we were all perfect pet owners then perhaps we should be perfect parents too, perfect citizens and perfect spouses. And I know that we don't throw away our kids if do something wrong but people and animals are different creatures. I will be crucified for saying this, but babies become kids who eventually turn into fully functioning adults. Dogs and cats will always be just dogs and cats.
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