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Lucky for me, they did have a cancellation so I go on Monday. I am glad but very worried because my vet has mentioned it could be degenerative myelopathy a few times and that really scares me. I know she is 15 and has had a great life but I feel sick thinking that I may be nearing the final stages of her life. It upsets me to see her struggle. I thought she was a little better yesterday but this morning she couldn't get out of bed again and her hind legs gave out. Her entire back end is so saggy and weak today. I feel nervous about leaving her at home alone because she is having these issues and unfortunately is a dog who has struggled with separation anxiety her entire life. When I go out she doesn't just lie down and relax, she gets upset and paces around which is exhausting for her and hard on her physical body. I have actually been setting out a "mummy dummy" which seems silly but it does work. I have this halloween inflatable skeleton which I dress in a hoodie and she thinks it is me resting on the couch or sitting on the chair. As long as she doesn't investigate it too closely, it can trick her if she is tired. Her hearing isn't great so I can sneak out without her knowing. The things we do but I have been devoted to her wellbeing, more than my own, for most of her life. This is why it is so hard to watch her decline, like a piece of myself is fading. She means so much to me.
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