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I hear about this often. My heart goes out to you, Raingirl, you obviously want to do "the right thing" and rescue, and sound like you are being given a hard time.
I don't want to step on any toes here...but I don't find it too realistic of rescue to prefer the "stay at home" moms, or dads. There is good and bad to all sides of this argument. Most people have to work. Period.
Sure the SAHM, or dad, is there all the time but that doesn't mean that the animal will be tended to all day. I'm sure that many a pet is temporarily nelected, although not intentionally, in a family where there is one salary.A lot of things "have to wait" (and those of us with pets know that they need more than just food and H2o) My friend's husband works from HOME and I can't think of a worse candidate--the house literally caught fire and he ws oblivious to it--eyes stuck to the monitor!!---I'm sure you get my point.
However 9 hours is long, could someone not come in and let out the dog, for you? And if so, would that be enough for the rescue, or would they still find reason?
The whole thing is very sad, I feel for you, Raingirl.
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If you are wondering if your dog can count, hide three cookies in your hand--and give him two!!
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