[breavery]

I know, she should have been vaccinated so I'll explain that first... she had a urinary infection and fever when we brought her for her annual vaccinations so they didn't give them to her and because of family situation, I completely forgot that I was to bring her back the next month so she's over a year late .... I know it's my fault but please don't hold this against me....I always vaccinate my animals.. but just this one time I didn't!!
The story is.... I had 2 cats, they were the best of friends, my neutered male died a few months ago so my spayed female 7 year old was an only cat for a while. I went to the animal pound and adopted a super friendly, very playful cat which I was told was a year old.. turns out he's just a large 6 months! Anyway, he had a URI... never really badly, sneezing, runny nose.. but then my older girl caught it.. she was very bad, eyes swollen, gasping, sneezing, runny eyes and nose, etc... it gets better (with antibiotics) but she seems to be scared to death of our new cat, he's extremely playful and runs around like a whacko... so, she's stressed out, so within a day or two of finishing the antibiotics, she starts sneezing again! They are both being given 500 mg L-Lysine twice a day.
I'm wondering if my older girl blames the new guy for her not feeling well (she's always gotten along with my old guy) or if it's because he's not neutered yet (had to wait til he was better and he goes in on Monday).
Would a spayed female cat be more fearful of an unneutered male cat than a neutered male? Any ideas how to let them 'start over'? And, how can I get my girl better when she seems always stressed out? I've tried massaging her but she's doesn't feel well and just doesn't want to be touched.. she was back to the vet again a few days ago as I was worried she was in pain but the vet found no signs of physical pain except for the URI... how do I get my cat to relax? Thank you