OMG! I'm sooo sorry to hear of your news....How very heartbreaking for you, Abe. Having a hard time typing this as tears are running down my cheeks for you and Kiko.
Don't blame yourself for giving her up to your friend, it was what you had to do at the time, and it's just one of those very unfortunate things that happen. Who knows what really
happened to Kiko? No one, unless someone actually saw what happened to her, so guessing is of no use. At least she didn't suffer too long and went quickly. I'm sure Kiko will be forever in your heart.
I do believe that a love is never lost and that you will some day be able to be with Kiko again.
Take care, my friend.
"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; unless my cats are there to welcome me."