I'm so sorry for your loss of Spook, Robert
I firmly believe we'll join up with our companions after we die--what would heaven be without them?
He knew you loved him. He felt your love right to the end and took it with him. That creates a powerful bond--can't you still feel him in your heart? What a wonderful gift you gave him!
Eventually, you know, all the happy memories the two of you made together will start to make you smile. Till then, tears are appropriate, even for men