Sula's quite the sexy girl isn't she?
On a more serious note, the Chinese proverb on your posts: "To close your eyes will not ease another's pain." made a big impact on our decision to finally let our Kitty cross over. My hubby didn't want to do it and didn't think it was her time. With Chico's advise and the proverb, I decided that it was time, so I took her myself. It was my first experience taking a beloved pet to be put to sleep. Kitty somehow knew what was happening and just seemed to accept her fate. She was so dehydrated that the vet had a hard time finding a vein. When he went up further in her thigh, he started the injection. I wanted to scream "STOP" but I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. As he gave Kitty her injection she sat up suddenly. I asked the vet why she did that and he said it was because she probably felt whoosy. For me, that was the most upsetting moment of the whole ordeal! Did she feel pain? Was she afraid? Thoughts were running through my head and then, Kitty was gone!
I hate to cry in front of anyone but at that moment I knew that was it! I wept out loud, which I've never done in front of strangers. The thought running through my head was, "I can't believe I've allowed this to happen to her and I've put put her life in my hands" It literally felt like I was dreaming! I stayed with her, kissed her and told her how sorry I was. It was hard to leave her laying there on the table!
I'm so sorry that I went off on a tangent but it actually feels good to voice my feelings! Since I took Kitty, I've been very quiet about her passing for reasons I don't really understand myself.
Something very strange happened last week that has never happened before. I was making lunch for my daughter and reached up onto the baker's rack where I stored a box of Cheez-It's. I suddenly heard Kitty's meow. Kitty didn't have a "meow" but a "brrrrkow" sound. Not thinking, I actually stepped aside to let Kitty through and then I realized what I was doing. I thought it was the floor squeaking so I tried to duplicate it several times since. Nothing sounded even similar. As a matter of fact, I was never able to get a sound out of the exact movement I made when I heard her.
Why would Kitty's spirit be with me over the other cats, family members, loved one's, etc.? I don't know the answer but I really think it was Kitty. Hopefully I don't sound crazy. Maybe it was wishful thinking but if that were the case, than I would have "heard" from the other cats that have passed on. I would have loved to have them "visit" me also but it never happened.
I have babbled on way too much tonight!!! I must have been in the mood to release all my emotions from the past few months. If there's anywhere I know someone will understand, it's here.
P.S. Forgive any typo's but I don't feel like going back to review and I'm tired and spent!