What you are describing is very frustrating, I am sure.
I would also advise you to take her for a check-up, the problem could be medical. Because it seems that she is doing what you are asking her to do - to let you know when she needs to go. But if you don't take her out - she goes right in front of you. NO DUH! She just told you she has to go...she is not a human to tell you in words :"mommy, I really really truly
So she is using the method you taught her, and when you disregard it (granted, you are tired and sleepy and all...we all are) she still(!) has to go.
By allowing this to happen you are undoing your own training. You are letting her know that yes, its fine to go. Maybe she has an infection and she CAN'T hold it? I don't wanna sould mean or anything, so please don't take this the wrong way. You should rule out a medical reason before you call it quits.
I have a question though...Have you thought of how it is with a baby? They will not respect the fact that mommy is tired or busy, they WILL want to eat and pee and poop. Same thing here. You basically have a child on your hands, and have to regard it as such. This is why I always ALWAYS ask people that are thinking about puppies if they are ready. If they are aware of how much work it is. And this is how these poor souls usually end up in the shelter or worse.
I was BLESSED with Sparky. It took me literally 4 days, maybe a week to potty-train him. He is 11 months old now, and you know what, if I wait too long - he will still pee in the house. He looks awfully guilty and ashamed, but I cannot blame him, I have to blame myself for that extra 10 minutes in bed before getting up. He holds it fine through the night, but he really really has to go in the morning and if I take too long - he will pee.
Such is life...we make sacrifices for those we love. Some are bigger sacrifices than others...and I wouldn't be surprised if the LOTR sacrifice is the first and smallest of all...
Good luck and I hope things will work out for you. Don't lose hope and please take her to a vet..it could be all a medical issue and here you are losing sleep and pulling out hair!