Welcome mili! That's quite the family you have!! There are lots of others on here with older pets with medical issues. I am quite sure you will, if not find the answers you are looking for, at least be able to talk to someone in the same position as you. And don't worry about doing anythig wrong. We all step in it occassionally.
Assumptions do nothing but make an ass out of u and me.
We can stick our heads in the sand for only so long before it starts choking us. Face it folks. The pet population is bad ALL OVER THE WORLD!