She is absolutely adorable
I would suggest both you and J taking her to obedience classes. Hubby and I did that with our rescue girl. We saw lots of couples, families, etc at the class with their dogs - in fact, it was whole heartedly recommended for every individual involved with the dog to try and attend the classes
I'd certainly make sure you find a class that uses positive reinforcement as well.
As for not being food motivated - what kind of treats are you trying to use? Some dogs are divas (like my Loki) but even he can't resist dehydrated beef liver, or hot dogs, stinky cheese, etc. You may have to experiment until you find the right motivator. OR.. it may end up that a favourite toy is the motivation.
About picking up Elsee and taking her to the bedroom, etc. I see your logic behind wanting her to go with you, but a dog that makes its own decisions will become a more confident dog. My concern is that by picking her up, you're setting the standard and that's what she'll just expect. Maybe your presence alone will be a motivator - if you and J both leave the room to go to the bedroom, maybe she'll come on her own after a bit? Or, she may just prefer to sleep out in the living room/den alone?