Thank you to everyone for the very informative replies!
I should have known about petting aggression, from my previous bengal mix, Gizzy.
I guess I just figured that since we knew her from 8 weeks old and on, she loved being picked up and handled frequently. I assumed the signs would never show up or I didn't know they could start in different ways.
But we have taken her to the Vet, who confirmed petting aggression. And the "snake look", she thinks she's just playing but if she's getting aggressive with it then we were advised not to play with hands (we don't at all, but since she doesn't respond when called by her name, I usually wiggle my fingers for her to come, but she does see that as a toy sometimes so I have been trying different tactics for that, anyone have any ideas besides shaking the treat bag?) and no playing under blankets with our hands that she can't see.
I think we've all been conscious with watching her for signs while petting her, I mostly keep to the top of her head to which she starts purring instantly. It's still amazing to me how she can be purring and then immediately act out but scratching or biting the instant she doesn't like the petting. Maybe I'm just out of practice?
Also, we have been keeping the door open slightly instead of locking her out and it seems like she's been calmer lately. However, @ 5:30 am DAILY, she tries to wake ME up by purring in my ear, but when my boyfriend gets out of bed and goes to the door, she follows him and then he shuts the door and we get another hour or so's sleep. The other morning, I tried to do what he does, but when I left the room, she had lied down in MY spot! WTF!
Clearly, she has chosen him as her person.
So I think everything is fine, except we don't know how to get her to respond to her name/come when called. If anyone has any ideas, that would be great ! But in the meantime, I will post some pictures of Smokey for everyone to see
Smokey @ 8 weeks:
Smokey @ 9 weeks:
Smokey @ 13 weeks:
Smokey @ 15 weeks:
Smokey @ 16 weeks:
Smokey @ 18 weeks: