You are such a wonderful mommy, budgrrl.
No laughter on your part could ever be construed as a betrayal or dishonor to Kiila--least of all by Kiila, cuz she knows how loved she was. Allow yourself to live well and happy knowing it's what Kiila would want for you! She loved you back and would want you to be happy--so if the kitties try to cheer you with their goofiness, let them. And if some memory comes to mind that makes you cry, that's okay, too. Some day, those memories will make you smile again.
You'll never be 'over it', but you will at least come to terms with your loss. And she'll be waiting for you at the Bridge.