A really good book on dealing with the death of a pet is by Dr. Wallace Sife, the founder of the Association of Pet Loss and Bereavement: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...04/drwallysife
There's also a list on the APLB website of other books on the same subject: http://aplb.org/resources/books.html
And I highly recommend checking out the chat room at the APLB: http://aplb.org/chat/
They are hosted several times a week by counsellors trained specifically in coping with pet loss. If anyone understands what you're going through, they do.