I agree that you are probably just being too hard on yourself. That said, even young kids (to a point) can be enlisted to help. Treats come after you help mommy to tidy the playroom. The dogs are short haired dogs, and I find that with my lab if I give her a good brushing outside every few days it really helps to keep the inside hair down. Now I don't have kids in the house, but I have a hubby who is without doubt every bit as messy and probably more dirty! He has finally learned to pick up the little dust buster vacuum that is strategically placed beside his "chair" in the living room and cleaning up his own crumbs and popcorn! That took a while though.
Good luck to you, it's a long haul so cut yourself some slack.