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-   -   Jealousy and acceptance question (http://www.pets.ca/forum/showthread.php?t=76139)

akaJenT March 29th, 2011 02:35 PM

Jealousy and acceptance question
 
I have a HUGE MONSTER male husky and a sweet cuddle bug smaller husky that seems to crave affection more than the beast (though I cuddle him tons too) My question is, is it all right to allow the small one on the couch while the monster one that clearly wishes he was smaller, not to be?

It's so nice to cuddle with the little one and my heart goes out to her cause she has to fend for herself all day. The monster play fights with her a lot and he would never hurt her on purpose but it is a lot for her to deal with just the same, always being outweighed, so when she wants affection it's hard to resist.

But the monster is WAY TOO HUGE to get on the couch, he would take up the whole thing. But he's incredibly smart and I'm not sure he can just accept it or will hold it against the smaller one. Am I setting her up for his jealousy? Or do you think he can get used to it and sorta not notice...(wince).

akaJenT March 29th, 2011 02:37 PM

I have a feeling I'm not gonna like the collective answer [img]http://www.blessedcause.org/forums/images/smilies/wail.gif[/img] [img]http://www.blessedcause.org/gallery/tink1.gif[/img]

rainbow March 29th, 2011 02:54 PM

I have a rather pushy siberian husky and a 100 lb woosy lab that are both allowed on the couch. The lab is a total suck that loves to cuddle and the sibe is rather aloof and only cuddles on his terms. Even though he knows he can come on the couch, he very seldom does so.

Mirela March 29th, 2011 03:08 PM

[QUOTE=akaJenT;998515]I have a feeling I'm not gonna like the collective answer [img]http://www.blessedcause.org/forums/images/smilies/wail.gif[/img] [img]http://www.blessedcause.org/gallery/tink1.gif[/img][/QUOTE]


You mean the one where we advise you to buy a bigger couch??? :laughing:
Or the one about how to get a big pillow and sit on the floor with them? ;)

akaJenT March 29th, 2011 07:11 PM

[QUOTE=Mirela;998531]You mean the one where we advise you to buy a bigger couch??? :laughing:
Or the one about how to get a big pillow and sit on the floor with them? ;)[/QUOTE]

[img]http://www.blessedcause.org/gallery/veryfunny.gif[/img] thanks (whew) I thought I'd get chewed out...

akaJenT March 29th, 2011 07:15 PM

[QUOTE=rainbow;998519]I have a rather pushy siberian husky and a 100 lb woosy lab that are both allowed on the couch. The lab is a total suck that loves to cuddle and the sibe is rather aloof and only cuddles on his terms. Even though he knows he can come on the couch, he very seldom does so.[/QUOTE]

You must have a HUGE couch!!!

Plus the large one is obsessed with digging up moles in the back yard, he carries 5x the dirt that the little one does. He's more independent but I can tell he still wishes he was the size he used to be, to be cuddled like he was when he was a pup...about the size of just his HEAD now.

poor pup

SamIam March 29th, 2011 07:23 PM

If the male is the more dominant dog, the one who usually comes out on top in the play-fights, promoting her to couch-privilege and leaving him on the floor will cause confusion between the two and encourage him to challenge her more often out there where he wins. Might be better to give them equal couch privileges, both off or both on.

BenMax March 29th, 2011 07:34 PM

Well I am going to disagree. I have 2 large, 1 XLarge, 1 small, 1 tiny. All dogs know that there is a difference based on their sizes. The small ones are allowed on the couch and the beds, and the big ones are not. There is an understanding and there is never any debates nor jealousy.
We treat all our dogs relatively the same, but this is one exception. Is it right? It's the way of this household and we have no issues with the dogs argueing over who gets to sit or sleep where. It's accepted and they find their relevant spots to lay.

Dogastrophe March 29th, 2011 07:51 PM

If your couch can handle it, and you want the larger one up with you on it, by all means, invite him up - no sense having empty couch spaces. :)

However, if you decide that, as BenMax noted, the way of the household is the smaller one on couch only, they will still get along with no issues. Just don't forget to cuddle up with the large one on the floor on occasion. :pawprint:

SamIam March 29th, 2011 08:22 PM

How big are your two huskies?

Shaykeija March 29th, 2011 08:49 PM

Size really does not matter. Dallas was a 75 pound husky and Missie weighed 9 pounds. Dallas was aggressive but she learned she was not allowed on the couch and Missie was. Same with the bed, Missy slept with us and Dallas slept on the floor. It is all in the way you train them. If you are concerned, I would be talking to my Vet or a reputable dog trainer.

SamIam March 29th, 2011 09:27 PM

In my experience as a [COLOR="Red"]dog[/COLOR] trainer, [COLOR="Red"]the relative[/COLOR] size [COLOR="Red"]of the two dogs[/COLOR] does matter, but in the opposite way!

Shaykeija March 29th, 2011 09:38 PM

That comment could be taken right out of context...

Shaykeija March 29th, 2011 09:48 PM

Not laughing, with all the political correctness on the board lately, some people might have misunderstood your comment and would have been offended .

Tundra_Queen March 29th, 2011 10:05 PM

I have a yellow lab and a shih tzu..shih tzu is allowed on the couches and bed. Lab isn't, but lab will come sit with us at the couch and will get petting and loving.

Shaykeija March 29th, 2011 10:12 PM

Yep TQ you just give them different loving and special times. Dallas was a hoot, she would walk away with Missie hanging on her tail.(Canine equivalent to water skiing on hardwood) While she was highly aggressive with other dogs, she was well trained by a accredited trainer and was well mannered. She listened well and we worked to get her to stop being so aggressive. She died of colon cancer at 6. She was a wonderful dog.

SamIam March 29th, 2011 10:26 PM

[QUOTE=Shaykeija;998672]Not laughing, with all the political correctness on the board lately, some people might have misunderstood your comment and would have been offended .[/QUOTE]
Nah. It was in direct response to your comment:
[QUOTE=Shaykeija;998672]Size really does not matter.[/QUOTE]
Worst it would get me is a laugh. :rolleyes:

Anyway, what I am trying to ask the OP is whether her two huskies are similar in size, or different enough to qualify as a small dog and a large dog.

Shaykeija March 29th, 2011 10:30 PM

Would love to see pictures....:cloud9: And are they neutered?

14+kitties March 29th, 2011 11:07 PM

[QUOTE=akaJenT;998512]I have a HUGE MONSTER male husky and a sweet cuddle bug smaller husky that seems to crave affection more than the beast (though I cuddle him tons too) My question is, is it all right to allow the small one on the couch while the monster one that clearly wishes he was smaller, not to be?

It's so nice to cuddle with the little one and my heart goes out to her cause she has to fend for herself all day. The monster play fights with her a lot and he would never hurt her on purpose but it is a lot for her to deal with just the same, always being outweighed, so when she wants affection it's hard to resist.

But the monster is WAY TOO HUGE to get on the couch, he would take up the whole thing. But he's incredibly smart and I'm not sure he can just accept it or will hold it against the smaller one. Am I setting her up for his jealousy? Or do you think he can get used to it and sorta not notice...(wince).[/QUOTE]

How old are the dogs? Which one was there first? Has the big one been taught from the start that the couch is off limits or only once he got bigger? I would think all of these things are important.
In my house my larger lab has known from the start that she is not allowed on the couch. My 5 pound toy has always been allowed. There is not jealousy. They know what is expected of them.
Maybe when you are sitting on the couch and not cuddling with the other dog call the big guy over to you. Let him put his head on your lap while sitting on the floor and give him his attention that way. I would bet any jealousy, if there, goes out the window.

Longblades March 30th, 2011 12:07 PM

We let the cats up on furniture the dog is not allowed on. Works fine for us. As a matter of fact one cat regularly takes over the dog's bed and keeps him off it and no controversy ensues because of it. He's not a meek, mild dog either.

But, in a previous time with another dog and cat it would definitely have been a problem for us. And was as we had to keep dog and cat separated, which we managed for 10 years.

So my suggestion is keep an eye out. I think if there is no problem now there won't be but none of us can read a dog's mind.

reanne April 2nd, 2011 04:07 AM

IMHO I would say that if your bigger dog is the first dog, and he USED to be allowed on the couch but is now too big, then allowing the smaller one on, but not allowing the bigger/older dog on, would indeed be undermining his place in the household, as you have "replaced" his desirable place on the couch with the smaller dog instead. If he was never allowed on the couch to begin with, then that might be a different story.

I have a 92lb dog and a 66lb dog and they are both allowed on the couch and the bed (with invitation). I'm a student and my place is pretty small so I don't have a huge couch LOL


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