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catlover19 July 13th, 2010 11:14 AM

Separation Issues
I'm hoping to receive some replies to help with an issue we have with our cat Smokey. We had to have his older brother put down a few months ago and ever since he's been more affectionate and at night he meows and scratches at the door. His brother used to do that once in a while when we still had him but Smokey does it every night. We can't have him in the bedroom at night because he won't let us sleep, he will lick our faces and climb all over us until we give him attention. Does anyone have any ideas on how to stop this behavior?

Love4himies July 13th, 2010 11:52 AM

I don't have advice in how to stop it because we, mostly DH, ended up getting up at 3AM for 6 months after Snowball passed away to walk Puddles around the house over his shoulder. That was Puddles and Snowball's time to play :(. It did subside over time. Now she is content to come up on the bed (something she did not do while Snowball was alive, long story there), and sleep where his place on the bed used to be.

catlover2 July 13th, 2010 12:01 PM

It's called "tough love". Just don't have Smokey in the bedroom at night at all. We have the same problem and both hubby and I need a good night's sleep to function properly, so our cats go to our basement-level recreation room at night. Set up Smokey's food, water, litter box in another room (rec room, bathroom, spare bedroom, laundry room), or if you don't have a spare room use a large dog crate. Our cats do get a snuggly cuddle time in bed during a rest before dinner. Give Smokey lots of cuddles and attention [I]before [/I]you go to bed and feed him his evening meal then.

Obviously, he's missing the companionship of his brother. Have you considered a kitten for a new cat friend? An adult cat usually gets along better with a kitten than an older cat (say over 8 mos.). Generally speaking, two cats do better than one alone, as they can stimulate and play with each other. :cat: :cat:

BenMax July 13th, 2010 12:11 PM

I say tough love as well. I have 2 cats that would not initially let me sleep and I locked them out of my room. Now (several months later), they are allowed back in my room and they take their respectful places on the bed without a peep or a pester.

It was very hard to do, however now we all live harmoneously together, nuzzled and cuddled.:lovestruck::cloud9:

catlover19 July 14th, 2010 11:48 AM

Thanks for the replies. I should have mentioned that we do have another cat. She didn't grow up with the boys and was only introduced about two years ago to them. Smokey and her get along great. We don't have another room to put Smokey in since we live in the lower level of a duplex and it's a one bedroom. My husband is allergic to cats and needs to sleep in a dander free room so we never have the cats in the bedroom with us at night. This behavior only started a couple of weeks after we had our other cat put down. They are on a routine of being fed before we go to bed for the night and we have cuddle time before turning out the lights but it doesn't seem to help

BenMax July 14th, 2010 11:57 AM

It's very possible that he requires reassurance due to the loss of his feline companion. I know for a fact that animals do go through a grieving period though it is not known whether it actually grieving or just a period of readjustment. I think they know and I interpret this behaviour as grief.

I guess try to maintain your normal routine and things should fall into place in time. My mother's cat whom died last year, left a void in the life of the other cat. Though she is no longer 3rd wheel in the animal household, she has declined in activity and now health. Something is to be said about the loss of our pets. I truly think that both humans and animals equally feel a void.

14+kitties July 14th, 2010 12:56 PM

Do you give Smokey extra cuddles and reassurances before you go to bed? Tell him he is loved and spend some important snuggle time with him. He is missing his playmate and needs to know not everyone who he loves has left him. :( Have you by any chance taken him in to the vet for a complete work up and blood work? Maybe he isn't feeling well and is trying to tell you. :shrug:

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