Strict, Unbending Rules For Dealing With Stray Cats
 

STRICT, UNBENDING RULES FOR DEALING WITH STRAY CATS

1. Stray cats will not be fed.

2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.

3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.

4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.

6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.

7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.

8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.

9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.

10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "y".

11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.

16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.

17. Stray cats will sleep outside.

18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.

20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.

21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.

22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.

25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot.

26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.

27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.

28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier' puyykmm4hbdm9lo9j USING IT.

Oh so true.... :rolleyes:

hahha i think this applies to dogastrophe with Gracie:cloud9:

and of course me and Twiggy:lovestruck:

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Great list, we are about half way down it. :cat:

:laughing: too funny, love it! :cat:

I love it!! :laughing:

This is great. It's funny how we all say no no no no ,then ok just this once, then the rest is history. into your heart and the word yes just keeps popping up . :laughing: :lovestruck:

:laughing: :laughing: Oh my husband would love that...that was pretty much what happened to him every time I took to another little poor lost soul. And it explains why we now have 6 and all my family's homes are full too. Too cute.:cat:

yep...sounds just like the dog rules.:thumbs up

Nice to see you cat-people finally fessin' :D

VERY cute and true.....I mean how could it not be true?:laughing:

Oh yes,I can soooo see that happening,thank's TD for posting that:thumbs up
I know you are no great lover of cats and was a little concerned opening this thread thinking...oh,oh what does she do to these poor strays:laughing:

chico i like cats fine! i'm just allergic, and hubby is deathly allergic, and the dogs only want to chomp into them so... no cats allowed anywhere near :o

That was cute. :D

Got to send this to mom! Her cat (official name "Not My Cat") got to move into the garage tonight.