I am uneasy with my neighbour...need some advice
 

I recently got new neighbours and they are very biased against certain dog breeds, and from what I see they are very very uneasy with any dog. The wife gave me a list of dogs that she "hates" (dobermans, sheppards, boxers, rottweilers, pit bulls, danes and huskies) and asked if my dog was a husky because she had a curly tail. Nope she's not husky........and that was okay with her, she relaxed a little bit. Didn't last long.....one day she asked why Zoe has black on her tongue, I slipped and said she is part Chow.:wall:

She said that she heard my dog barking one night (Zoe was inside and worked up).......yes she was barking there was two foxes in the backyard. I said the only time you hear her bark is if there is something or someone outside. I told her to ask the other neighbours, Zoe had stopped theives from breaking into my other neighbours garage, when she barks there is a reason. She is not a dog that barks just to hear herself talk. Plus at the first bark I am on it, I know the difference from a wildlife alert and a stranger alert. I don't let her bark uncontrolably

So I have been changing some things that I normally do just for the sake of keeping the peace. Right now a fence is impossible, just don't have the funds and our shared side of the yard is at least 150 feet. So I no longer allow Zoe to bring out bones or her cow hooves, stuffies are brought back in at the end of the day,wading pool is put away every night, I don't want possible guarding problems. She is never left unattended ( that isn't something new), I shortened her lead outside so she can't put a foot over into their yard, she is also never loose (again not something new).

So then her little fellow starts to walk......and because he is getting pretty quick he bolts for my yard and the dog. OMG.....the mom has a fit!!! Meanwhile Zoe is sitting, staying and wiggling her butt off. I tried telling the mom it is okay, and putting on a big dramatic show is not what you want to do. Zoe is good with kids. I can see part of how she sees it, a little fellow that can do anything at any moment....but I am trying to show her a safe way that we can get along. But it is getting to the point were I just want to scream...hey lady I have control over my dog.....would you please control yourself and the kid!!

So this brings me to tonight. I was playing kick ball with Zoe, and my neighbours and some of their company came outside. Well the little guy wanted Zoe's ball and was putting up a huge fuss because he couldn't have it. He escaped three times into my yard before I was in a round about way told to take my dog inside and put away the balls because I was causing problems. Even the company was givng me evil looks.

:confused:What do I do??? I am having a really hard time finding a polite way to handle this. I have basically spent my entire summer inside for fear of offending my neighbours. All my other neighbours have had dogs that lived in that house....its a funny set up, our houses have about six feet between each other. Until we can get a fence up.....oh hopefully next year....I couldn't put up with another summer like this one. It's like I am expected not to go outside till after the sun goes down....and so help me if I make any noise.:confused:

uh... as a mother lemme say this.....

its their responsibility to make sure their children are watched. YOU do not need to put a fence up... YOU were there first. THEY put the fence up because THEY have a problem with your yard (dog, trees, mud or otherwise). simple as that. if they didnt like a dog as a neighbor they shouldnt have bought the house.

-ashley

Been there, done that. Put the For Sale sign up because it's the only way you can deal with :loser:s like that! Not even a fence will make them happy because it will be encroaching on their property or it will not be high enough or they won't like the wood you built it with or......... got the point? They will never, ever be happy.

they can also get over it. i wouldnt let a new neighbor drive me out of my home. im just stubborn like that.

-ash

Just thought........ to protect yourself carry a camera with you. IF something happens that they think they can blame on you....kid comes to your yard and gets knocked down by a happy dog or something..... pictoral proof is good. Not trying to scare you. Just saying.. been there.

IMHO, i would stop being so concerned about the hissy neighbour, if she has something to say, inform her you and your family whether skin or fur were here before them. you love your pets as much as she loves her child. I would not let her force me into hiding in my home, and if she has company, and they don't want to be around the dog THEY can go in the house. If her child wants the ball so bad and is having a fit about it, he should be taken inside, not Zoe. If these people didn't look into the fact that hmmm maybe the neighbours might have a dog, this isn't your problem. You've been being exceptionally nice to the point of bending over backwards for this "B". She in my opinion was offensive right off the bat with her list of dogs she hate. lol me being me, i'd have said Zoe was a mix of all of them.:evil:

Honestly if it were up to me, i wouldnt give two thoughts about it. Its [B]your[/B] yard your dog is [B]under control[/B] and good with kids. Her kid is the one who isnt in control if she cant get it to not run after a ball that [I]you[/I] are playing with in the first place. you should have to tip toe around to please your neighbours. your dog isnt causeing any problems, and isnt bark un necessairly. when you get a fence hopefully that will shut her up, but honestly dont worry about offeneding them or anything, if they are haivng a problem with it they can put up a fence or shut up...

Wow. I cannot believe that people can be so rude. To give you a list of dogs she "hates"? How is that your problem? So if you owned a Doberman, what would have been her expectation? Their issues are not your problem. It's apparent that she's had a bad experience with a dog. I can understand wanting to be neighbourly but it seems as though you've made numerous accommodations to suit their needs. What about your needs? Your pup's?
Had I been asked to stop playing with my dog, in my own backyard, I wouldn't have been very polite. I know it sounds strange, but I would start writing things down and keep a record of these "requests".

ou, if you see her, can you do me a favour please?? ask her why she hates those breeds of dogs?

also i think you did the right thing by taking her leash back a foot, that's making sure oyur not in the wrong!:thumbs up and its her kids faulT!

just out of curiosity, did you happen to keep the list she gave you of the dogs she hates, just incase she tries to 'cause you any problems.

See heres the thing, I didnt write the whole story because it would take all night to write it.

I have a huge huge yard. I have been starting to go way out back just so I don't have to see them. I put Zoe in the dog kennel or I set up her run at the back of my property. The other day I was reading a book way out back and I felt Zoe's head bomp the underside of the lawn chair, I looked up and the woman and her kid are halfway into my yard and she yells "make sure your dog is tied up I need to ask you a question" I said she is always tied up. Anyways she wanted to talk about what was stealing her birdseed and pooping in her yard, and she told me to hang on to my dog so she could put the baby down, I didn't...I was a little peeved off.....so as she is yapping the baby got a bit away from her, then Zoe and the baby are sitting side by side, the baby was eating a peice of grass and Zoe was watching ( I think in amazment that she met another creature that had a taste for grass). When she finally noticed she freaked, scooped the kid up and stomped away.

Then today she came to the back door and rattled the screen door (the inside door was open), then claimed that she was sure she was going to be eaten and that I should keep my doors closed and get a door bell. Meanwhile Zoe barked twice and sat with her nose pressed against the screen wagging her tail.....she knows who the lady is.

This is just a nightmare.......I so miss my old neighbours.

I'd buy her one of those kid "leashes" and tell her, if it works for my dog, maybe it'll work for your kid. Have some other neighbors over for a BBQ and then tell her to put her kid in the house because HE is causing YOU problems. The other neighbors can act as your witnesses that you have asked her not to allow the child in your yard. She is such a :loser:

:wall::wall: seriously next time she comes on YOUR property and tells you to hold onto your dog, or whatever quite plainly say NO!!!! Now the evil side of me is coming out and i think we should have a doggie playdate at your place, i'll bring my 3, wd brings his 3, chris can bring iggy, winston, ummmm ohoh sylvies pack, oh and chase_moms2, hmmm who else is there.... lol, must go spread the word.[SIZE="1"]scampers off to create havoc...[/SIZE]

Aslan- i can bring the german shepherd i walk! I would so fly to where evr you live just to Pee That B-I badword off! :evil:

What a :loser:! I swear I smell trouble! Why, if she has such a problem with the dog, is she coming to your door? Ask her politely to stay on her side of the yard if she has a problem. And keep track of everything.

If it were me I'd go get some of that orange plastic snow fencing and some posts. String it along between the yards so their kid and the b*tch can't come in to your yard. I know it wouldn't stop much like a real fence but to me the problem seems to be more them coming in to your yard than the other way around.

And, I had an ******* neighbour where I used to live. To this day Dracko does not know how to play outside by himself as when he was younger I couldn't leave him outside EVER by himself. The guy poisoned Dracko and the 2 huskeys on his other side and they all almost died. He took me to court over Dracko's barking (I won). I had very high fences, too. Didn't matter. The guy had a hate on for dogs.

ugh, she sounds like such a PIA, my god. I am coming to this play date, caus ei mean Enzo really knows how to get it going! I agree with aslan though just plain out tell her "NO!, i will not hold my dog..we are in my yard and he is friendly!" and ask her to not come in to your yard if she has such a problem with you "big mean dog" some people!:wall:

Awwww that's so crazy!!

I know it's hard, and you don't want to cause problems, and I am almost certain, that if Zoe even pushed over or walked close to their kid, they will call the police and try to have your dog put down, claiming it's vicious!! So please be very careful, if you can maybe some cameras on the property, to capture everything, just in case.

On the other hand it's your property, you have a right to use it and live in peace!! You have to be firm with your neighbours, and establish boundries ASAP. Let them know you love dogs, and have no intention of moving or getting rid of your dog, and that you spend lots of time in your yard with your dog, and have no intentions of stopping!! And that their fear of dogs is their problem not yours, and that if they don't like it.....they should build a big high fence or move.
Letting them know where you stand early on could save alot of problems later on.

I wish you the best of luck with these animal hating neighbours.

Can you politely tell her that if she's so uneasy about Zoe, that she ought to call you instead of crossing over onto your property if she needs to speak with you? That dogs can pick up on tension felt by other ppl and that [I]you're[/I] not comfortable with that.

In the meantime, is there some type of temporary fencing you can get up? I forgot the name, Hazelrunpack mentioned it, I call it 'deer fencing.' It's not to keep Zoe in, but to keep her and her child out.

ohhhh some really good ideas. I should be keeping a journal of what happens, excellent idea. I shot her list out because it just disgusted me. She had a hard time accepting the story I told her of a Golden Retriver attacking my dog and biting my hubby. Trying to explain to her that anything that has teeth has the potential to bite. As soon as she gave me that list I knew we were going to have a problem.

I should have a puppy party......I have friends with many of the "listed" dogs and they all have children too.

I am mad at myself for being over-accomadating, I have a problem with conflict, and try to manage a way without getting nasty. But I also have a line, takes a long time for me to get there sometimes, but then I just want to explode. Then it's too late because I still look like the idiot because I let it go too far.

I should introduce her to my cat......now there is something to be afaid off.

[QUOTE=dogcatharmony;643213]

I should have a puppy party......I have friends with many of the "listed" dogs and they all have children too.


[COLOR="Red"]Do it! and have them all bring their children, explain the situation to them, and have the kids playing with the dog, sitting with the dogs...what ever. Then after a while, invite the annoying neightboor over ( you [B]know[/B] she will have looked out to see whats going on, and she her reaction, and she is she will come over[/COLOR]

I am mad at myself for being over-accomadating, I have a problem with conflict, and try to manage a way without getting nasty. But I also have a line, takes a long time for me to get there sometimes, but then I just want to explode. Then it's too late because I still look like the idiot because I let it go too far.

I should introduce her to my cat......now there is something to be afaid off.[/QUOTE]

Dont be mad at yourself! you were over accomadating, but everyone has done that, and in the end it can bite oyu in the rear.

[QUOTE=luckypenny;643212]Can you politely tell her that if she's so uneasy about Zoe, that she ought to call you instead of crossing over onto your property if she needs to speak with you? That dogs can pick up on tension felt by other ppl and that [I]you're[/I] not comfortable with that.

In the meantime, is there some type of temporary fencing you can get up? I forgot the name, Hazelrunpack mentioned it, I call it 'deer fencing.' It's not to keep Zoe in, but to keep her and her child out.[/QUOTE]


You hit the nail on the head with that one. It is one of my worries to with the tension. Zoe knows I get on edge as soon as I see them, then with the mom nervous......it's just one big tension filled cloud. I don't want to make a mistake, I have to stop myself from grabbing Zoe's leash and moving her. I have gotten up and blocked the kid, picked him up and brought him home. I try not to be nervous with the kid, but I get so frustrated. Sad to think the little fellow wants to see the dog so bad and has to live with dog haters and learn how to fear dogs just because.

How strong is this deer fencing?? The kid couldn't just walk right through it?? I would imagine that it would send a message......probably one that would make me into a kid hater....twist it right around.

this is the thread lp is talking about, they show the fencing.

[url]www.pets.ca/forum/showthread.php?t=54943&highlight=fencing[/url]

:laughing: You're too fast for me, [B]Aslan[/B].

It's the fencing that Hazel posted in her pic, [B]dogcatharmony[/B].

I, too, have a problem with conflicts, or more like confrontation until it's too late and I blow :o. Living in a heavily child populated area, I learned that I can't trust all parents to watch their children as they should. We ended up putting two layers of fencing about 1 1/2 feet apart to keep little hands safe and out of our yard.

[QUOTE=dogcatharmony;643221]
How strong is this deer fencing?? The kid couldn't just walk right through it?? I would imagine that it would send a message......probably one that would make me into a kid hater....twist it right around.[/QUOTE]


I think it will definately get the message across with out coming across to rude, its like please stay out of my yard, and if she doesnt stay out after that, be more direct. I didnt think of putting up a light fencing like that, but it wwould be study enough to deter the kid but not stong enough to hold a determined dog back. Its very sad that the kid cant go see Zoe :sad:

oh........ok.......I am a fool. When you said deer fencing I was thinking of the little orange plastic fences I see up in the winter time........uhhhhhduhhhhh that is snow fencing I was thinking about.

That deer fencing looks like it could be a good idea.....I will have to go looking for some. I could always reuse it at the back after if we put up a wooden fence.

Thank you!!!!:thumbs up

Don't forget to put up the multiple "Beware Of Dog" signs on the side facing your neighbors :D.

What a nightmare.....I'm so scared of eventually ending up in such a situation myself, b/c I don't do well with conflict either!

I hope the deer fencing works out for you, and don't hesitate to tell her to stay out of your yard. Tell her to mail you a letter with her next list of demands. :evil:

If you live in BC I am happy to come visit with my three dogs!!! LOL Do the fencing posting it's cheap and will help, I had to do the same at a place I lived once.

I think you should start fostering some dogs in need... in fact, I think you should foster a doberman, a sheppard, a boxer, a rottweiler, a pittie, a dane and a husky. [I]I will happily ship you some extra dog food if you choose to do so.[/I]

I do like Dracko's idea of the orange fencing. I'd probably do that if it were me.

I do have a crawling baby... and as a mother, it's MY responsibility to watch him at all times. your neighbor is irresponsible, and a jerk. maybe if you foster all the dogs mentioned above, they'll move. ;)